Movie Review: Immortals

I took a trip down to the local multiplex this past weekend, eager to catch the new Twilight movie, I was all decked out in my Team Jacob t-shirt and underneath my skinny jeans (which accentuate my full frame) I was wearing twilight-theme black thong underwear. It put a little spring in my step. The theater was jam packed and I had to park way the bleep out in the next lot over by a local ice creamery and Latin bar (which I frequent often because I only like myself when I’m drunk and because the bartenders are beautiful, curvaceous and with seductive tempestuous eyes, they draw me in and force me to drink and they put those thoughts in my head, please forgive me Father, please forgive me).
As I gazed longingly at the marque (not to be confused music giant Biz Markie, he’s just a friend) my defacto date for the evening - Willem Joseph Montejamo - finally showed up, fashionably late as usual. I informed him of the current predicament and we ran through the list of films to decide upon an appropriate substitute. Finally, we settled on Immortals, thinking we would just be a couple of totally cool bros for the night and really start things off right with a manly, action packed flick.
We sat down, 27 previews rolled and then we were off. From the opening seconds - the opening seconds - I knew we were in trouble. Unless you’re The Shawshank Redemption or another great movie that I’m too stupid to think of right now narration is an awful device to start off with. And I’ll be darned if narration for these movies doesn’t always sound like the same guy, always that old wise phlegm filled voice. Maybe if they had thrown me a curve ball and had Gilbert Gottfriend narrating or hired a beautiful Mexican woman with generous hips to read it seductively while also putting me down and telling me how much of a loser I am I could have been sucked in from the start. As it was while we were treated to the stone carvings of these immortals and so much mindless exposition I couldn’t help but think this was not going to turn out well
I cursed myself then and demanded I remain positive. I kept telling myself that for the entire movie and it became increasingly difficult. The story unfolded neatly as so: Gods don’t interfere with mortal stuff unless Titans are unleashed, an evil king wants to conquer the locals, obtain a magic bow and release the Titans (not sure why on the last one since it doesn’t seem like it benefits him), the bow is found, armies fight.
Mickey Rourke shows up early on as the main antagonist and adds much needed gravitas to the proceedings. Actually, he adds the only gravitas whatsoever to the movie. His sneering, snacking gruff deep voiced villain is intriguing (his ball busting scene early on is literally the only scene that has any genuine tension) initially but is soon revealed to be just as surface as everything else (more on that). He does good with what he’s given and arguably fares the best of any cast member but in the end this is just another by the numbers villain.
That is only the start of the movie’s problems.
Willem Joseph and I had a drink afterward and discussed this film at great length. We were both reminded of another movie: Roland Emmerich’s 10,000 B.C. All do respect to an individual I have never met but I rarely find comparisons to Emmerich movies being done in a favorable sense. Similar to 10,000 B.C. this movie is filled with ideas that could be good if more time and attention was given to story and character. The end result is that everything comes across half baked, very weak and sometimes silly. Every single scene with the Oracle - from the first time we see her and accompanying bff’s sitting on a posh floor cushion to her random sex scene - is laughter inducing. Freida Pinto is given nothing to do except look beautiful.
The setting itself also only works about half the time. Sometimes it is convincing, sometimes it looks like the actors are strolling around on sets built out of paper mache. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know squat about Greek mythology (except for what I’ve read in Wonder Woman comics and seen in other movies) so I have no idea how accurate the costumes were but the Gods looked completely ridiculous and it was very hard to take any of them seriously. Their costumes appeared to be molded from plastic and purchased at the last minute for a Halloween party. When the story is non existent, those are the sorts of details one has to concentrate on.
The editing in this is all over the place. Characters pop in and out with no explanation or reason for being. They are dealt quick deaths and I was left wondering “Who the hell was that and why should I even give a damn?!”. I frequently shouted this at the screen and drew more than a few angry glances. Willem Joseph, ever the more well mannered gentleman, simply kept nodding off. Plot-wise nothing ever takes place that is interesting or not exactly what one would expect.
There are some positives in the movie. The action scenes - particularly the lengthy final battle between armies, Superman and Whiplash, gods and titans - are very well staged and well executed. There are no punches pulled and blood is flying all over the place, this movie earns it’s R rating. However as I’ve screamed to anyone who would dare listen to me it’s not enough just to have good action scenes. If I do not care about a single character or am not invested at all in the storyline then I cannot enjoy the action because it is meaningless. Any movie can have good effects and choreography these days, what makes or breaks it (hip new phrase I’m coining) is the writing behind everything. The script is key motherfuckers! Back to the positives: the cinematography is also quite good and when the sets are convincing the film itself is often beautiful to look at. Aside from Rourke, the only other actor that leaves an impression is Henry Cavill as Theseus. He doesn’t have many opportunities to do much other than flex and fight but when he’s given the chance - particularly in the obligatory rally-an-entire-army-at-the-last-minute with-a-single-loud-speech scene - he shines. I look forward to seeing him as Superman in Zack Snyder’s upcoming Man of Steel.
Inevitable comparisons arise to Clash of the Titans and 300. I have blocked out Clash from my brain (Sam Worthington always has that effect on me) but I remember 300 well enough. There is some similarity in the fight scenes and photography and the fact that they are both reasonably boring “epic” movies but the similarities end there. I am not a big fan of 300 but it is a much better movie. The only real interesting idea in Immortals is what they lay out for a possible sequel.
I saw this for a tongue slicing $5.50 which a stunning deal in this day and age. There are worse ways to spend 2 hours and I only checked my watch a couple of times. If you can check your brain at the door and are in the mood for some action and pretty things to look at you’ll probably be entertained. In the final analysis I did not feel ripped off (I make far to much coin for that to happen) but just based on principal I’m glad I didn’t see a late showing.

Album Review: Station to Station by David Bowie

Ah Bowie, how I love you so. David Bowie is one of those artists who is in a class and league all his own. His massive influence on popular music is undeniable and his talent often seems limitless. If one is new to this artist it can be a bit daunting to find a good entry point in his vast catalogue. Bowie’s been called a chameleon so many times in the press (though it was I who first famously used the term back in my original write up of his David Live album from 1974, it’s hard to believe I’ve been following the man’s career for so long) that the moniker has started to lose meaning for some. When someone has become so entrenched in the popular zeitgeist – with echoes of his work being heard in everything from the Pixies to Lady GaGa to Nine Inch Nails – it can be easy to forget just how groundbreaking the original stuff was.

I spent the last 17 days (so let the rain come down, the rain come down, let the rain come down down) or so trying to decide what Bowie album to start with. His catalogue is so rich and varied one would be justifiable in starting from any point as all his different guises offer something unique and worthwhile. Those who know me best know that I typically spend my Friday nights wearing a latex suit and ball gag and hanging from apartment ceilings of people I’ve only just met that night. But they also know that of all the eras of Major Tom my favorite has always been the Berlin era. I’m not quite ready to delve into that hallowed period yet but the 1976 gem Station to Station – which was a precursor to that time and saw David moving beyond his previous “plastic soul” era – is among his most accessible works while also showing off the brilliant songcraft I mentioned.

Mr. Stardust was doing enough cocaine in this era to take out 12 Keith Richards and 9 Charlie Sheens all put together so it’s little wonder that he claims being unable to remember the writing and recording process for this album.

Station to Station: This song is over ten minutes long and worth every single second. It starts off with the sounds of a train mingling with some industrialized factory noises before turning into pure rhythmic bliss. After a few minutes the vocals start with the haunting refrain, “The return of the Thin White Duke, throwing darts in lovers eyes”. Oh Bowie, do you know the things you do to me? Oh God! Oh David, yes!!! YES!!! The track continues in this dark sleek manner before doing a complete 270 about halfway through and shifting to something devastatingly funky and rocking that has me bobbing my head and singing along until the finale. Despite the changes, the track does not feel like several ideas crammed together but one mammoth progressive unit whose shifts are natural, not forced. Also, am I the only one who hears this song when I listen to “Reptile” by the aforementioned Nine Inch Nails? Either way, both songs cause my face to melt off and land in a grotesque pile of amorphous skin at my feet. This opening song is a stunner and sets a lofty precedent that few could match? Does Bowie do it? Read on for answers so thrilling that your heart will literally beat right of your chest and squirt blood everywhere before slamming against a wall in such a way as to create an abstract painting so innovative that you will soon be recognized as the next great thing in new wave avante garde self expressionistic painting. Much has been made of the Nietzscheian and occultist writing and imagery that found it’s way into this album, particularly with this song, which is also a good indication of his state of mind during this era. The imagery is quite striking but I don’t think it matters so much what the artist’s inspiration was so much as what he is making you feel.

Golden Years: Here’s a song I’ve probably listened to around 77 million times in my life yet it always sounds as fresh as the very first time I bought the single on vinyl and chilled out with my girl Lorena [no, not Lorena Velazquez, star of so many fantastic b movie Mexican genre films including personal favorite Nave de los Monstruos, oh Lorena your tempestuous eyes and divine voluptuous hips are forever immortalized in the seductive evil alien and vampire queens that you put into my dreams every night, I will never forget and never stop loving you Lorena (see below, how I wish I was that alien)].



Getting back to the task at hand, Golden Years is one of Dave’s most beloved singles and with good reason. I don’t know what’s catchier, the funkified guitar or the insistent driving bassline, the groove is strong enough to motivate anyone to dance and the little touches like the syncopated handclaps only enrich that musical stew. But in the end it’s all backdrop for a standout vocal performance that shows off the man’s vocal range the way Velazquez’s alien wardrobe showed off her gorgeous gams. This is the song easiest to fall in love with right away and would fit comfortably on any mix of the man’s work.

Word On A Wing: The drug use and macabre interest mentioned earlier afforded Bowie something of a spiritual moment of clarity that is explained with this track. The chordal progression is gorgeous but once again there is little doubt that despite the rich musical tapestry it is that voice which is the primary draw. His vocals are inviting, melodic and supple. The harmonies and piano keys come together into something warm enough to melt chocolate (strange analogy, I don’t think it quite works but it’s jarring enough that I’m going to leave it). Every time he arrives at that bass accompanied chorus “Lord, my prayer flies like a word on a wing…” my heart breaks all over again. You feel the anguish in his voice, he believes every word and this is the purest expression he could have written at this time. I think this song often gets overlooked, even within this very album. It is something of a challenging track, asking questions about faith and personal convictions. I think anyone going through a similar crisis would find something powerful here. At its heart it does still feel like a love song, albeit to a higher power that even those deep in prayer supplication cannot fully comprehend. Regardless of whether his feelings changed later on this remains an incredibly beautiful statement on and exploration of God, spirituality and the quest to retrieve one’s own fleeting soul.

TVC15: This is a song about a man traveling inside a “hologramic” television set after said appliance has just eaten his girlfriend, I think that’s a situation we can all relate to which really serves to make this a welcoming and comfortable track. This has another great piano hook from Roy Bittan and some nice crunchy guitar. The production is thick on this one, which gives the track a different feel to match its bizarre subject matter and retro qualities. This song isn’t quite as dizzying in its heights as Golden Years but its mines much the same territory and when I’m in that quirky off beat mood it always hits the spot. It does have a slight feel to it in comparison to the other songs but perhaps that was the point, especially when considering its placement on the album.

Stay: We start off with a great guitar and bass interplay and right away you know this is continuing the fast pace set by TVC15. Whether playing it himself or merely providing the direction one thing that is true of Ziggy’s entire career is his ear for good basslines and this one is rock hard and holds down the entire groove which allows the rest of the music to go as crazy as it likes. And crazy it does go with a disco drenched chorus that carries this surreal and cerebral rave well into the late night hours. Bowie’s voice seems mixed more within the instruments themselves as opposed to how upfront they were in prior tracks, which gives this song it’s own unique color. The percussion is off the chain yo and this song is that last wild ride before the reality of the after party sets in. Try listening to this song with a strobe last in your room while drinking several bottles of white wine and spinning around, it is a truly wonderful feeling.

Wild is the Wind: Some may call it unusual to end an album with a cover (a Johnny Mathis tune to be specific, check out the infamous X-Files episode “Home” for GREAT use of another Johnny Mathis tune) but not me since that would necessitate more extrapolation and research than I’m inclined to partake in at this moment. The almost lounge like feel of this song reminds me a little of Riders on the Storm by the Doors, but I only until I listen them back to back and realize what an idiot I am since they sound absolutely nothing alike. This is song is host to yet another amazing vocal performance – perhaps the best on the album. His voice is otherworldly here and when the music cuts out altogether and leaves only him, the effect is the cold, isolated beauty of creation done by starlight (whatever the hell that means, man I’m really phoning it in, and it’s only a six track album for fuck’s sake!) But indeed, this song is like a smoke filled lounge at three in the morning. The drinks are being cut off and you’re just about ready to stumble home, the night is at it’s darkest and you can let it protect you for just those few minutes longer but you run the risk of being swallowed whole before the sun rises. I believe that is the reason Bowie chose to end the album with this track, it’s evocative of a last call, a final hurrah before we all vanish into the darkness. There are few sounds that would be as perfect to hear at that moment of closure as this.

Station to Station is a sprawling widescreen work of beautiful and pastoral musical landscapes. Bowie’s vocals take a turn here for the lower pitched crooning style he would employ to great effect for the remainder of his career. I can’t say that I believe this to be his best album because many could hold that title, depending on the time, my mood and the particulars of my medication at that moment. However there is no doubt that this is among his best and always a huge fan (if not general audience) favorite. It is also a great starting point for new listeners as the songs never feel too cloistered or impenetrable as on some of his other albums. This is one of those rare works that I can listen to for energy and drive in the morning and for calm centeredness in the evening. The remaster is fantastic and shows off the consummate artistry on display here, with musical details leaping from my second rate stereo speakers and slapping me across my cleanly shaven face and firm, hirsute buttocks. It is also comes with a long bootlegged and treasured concert Live at Nassau Coliseum 76’ which features performances of many of the songs here as well as some older glammier material. The 2010 package also includes a detailed booklet and several photographs which I like to stare at inappropriately while listening to the album.

So there we have it. The album is 6 songs but does not feel truncated in anyway. Part of that may be due to the generous song lengths and part may be due to the quality of the songs. There isn’t a hint of filler and any one of these tracks could be considered a highlight. When taken into consideration with our modern digital era this work functions exceedingly well as a straight through listen or as a shuffle but it also reveals nicely it’s origins with a clear cohesion between “side 1” of tracks 1 through 3 and “side 2” of the remaining songs. Music like this just isn’t made anymore (not even Bowie himself who seems to have retired, the selfish, lazy jerk). This disc receives top kudos from this humble writer and is a must for any collection.

Album Review: Ayer, Hoy y Siempre by Los Horoscopos De Durango

Look out world because I am about to set a bold yet dangerous precedent. Over the years I have noticed more and more a serious need for music review sites that cater also to more foreign affairs. Sure, it’s easy to find reviews and analysis on Norwegian death metal or the latest Australian power trio but few would deny that there is a great lack of attention devoted to foreign language releases. We could argue endlessly over why that is and I would likely make some inflammatory statements that would result in a severe and much deserved public beating but rather than go down that path I have opted to provide a cleaner, lead-by-example sort of solution. This blog, this phenomenon that I have created, this Pandora’s box that I have opened shall be THE source of foreign language music reviews, at least Latin ones. See, already I’m backtracking, the sheer magnitude of my ambitions is too much for one man alone to handle. You, my loyal and faithful readers will have to carry some of the weight for me. So read on, read on and then listen, open up your ear holes and keep that diseased brain open as well. We are about to venture into nigh uncharted territory, you may feel afraid at first but in the end you may discover that the world around you is much more beautiful than you ever could imagined. I promise the world dear followers and like a certain perennially smiling antagonist I’m a man of my word.

So here we go with the review part of this thing. First I think I’ll provide a little back story, a little context, it’s just a trick I learned while serving as head speech writer during the Reagan era. Is it any wonder years later that particular era is still among the most celebrated in the history of our fair country?

Los Horoscopos De Durango is one of the most popular groups in the genre duranguense (I think). They are currently fronted by two sisters: Vicky y Marisol Terrazas who sing and – at least sometimes in concert – play a variety of instruments. These two are backed by a slew of talented gentlemen whose names I can’t place to an instrument because the liner notes of the album do not specify (sorry guys, but you all did great) . If you don’t know what duranguense is, don’t feel bad. It was years before I could even say the word properly but now duranguense and I are as tight as a bologna and whip cream sandwich. It’s an oddly addicting genre – like a lot of Mexican music. I have read that regional Mexican music is an acquired taste not unlike that of wine and I think that is a fair statement. Obviously if you grew up hearing a certain type of music that is one thing but for those who are not accustomed this wide and rich musical landscape can be a bit impenetrable at first. I must admit I had my own difficulties for a while despite (or perhaps because of) hearing it quite often while I was a young lad, gleefully wetting myself daily. However now I can safely say that I love this vast field and am discovering new artists and facets of it all the time. Is it a coincidence that my ever expanding love of this music - and in this case duranguense - also pre empted my onset into extreme alcoholism? I do not know. But I can say that earlier metaphor about wine is deadly accurate and all the empty bottles and banda tinged cd’s littering the floors of my abode can attest that both highly addicting once said taste is acquired. My point is that many people give up on something before even getting their feet wet (I love getting wet, butt-naked, ill, sherms, dust, PCP, primos, p-dog) This – like so much music – rewards on repeated listens and had I dismissed early on I would be a poorer man for it.

When I listen to this album I sometimes think of the book Needful Things by Stephen King [not to be confused with tennis great Billie Jean King (who herself should not be confused with Billie Jean, Michael Jackson’s #1 smash from the classic Thriller album)]. The two don’t really share many themes or characteristics but I often enjoy a little music in the background whilst I read and at the time of reading that book I was listening to this album a lot. Twas’ a good book, perhaps I shall review it someday but right now is my review of Ayer, Hoy Y Siempre by Los Horoscopos de Durango so King will have to take a temporary backseat.

Now for a brief explanation on what duranguense is for the heretofore uninitiated. Originally I had called upon all my years of experience as an investigative reporter for an underground paper in New York (Empire Statement) and used Wikipedia to get a good definition of the genre. But then I thought No damnit, music is about feeling, it’s about emotion, not dry definitions so I decided to excise the proper definition and instead write in something very inadequate by comparison. Duranguense is beautiful and unique sounding music; it is striking in its use of the bass drum, which a steady and soothing pounding in your gut and the eternal snare roll, which stimulates the pleasure center. For me, it is those dual drum sounds that always identify it early on. It makes the tempo quick and danceable and even grindable if you’re lucky. There is also some of the tasty brass you would find in other regional Mexican music but synthesizers have replaced the bassline normally done by the tuba. Those keyboards also contribute some sun drenched melodies as well. Wow, truly that definition was garbage. Honestly, if you listen to any artist of this genre you will recognize those characteristics I just mentioned and probably come up with your own observations. I feel that is the best way to discover something new anyway. But enough about advanced music theory and composition, lets get to the songs:

Bazar - I can recall with great clarity when I first heard this song. I was having lunch at Casa Ortega Mexican Restaurant with a business associate trying to negotiate a big trade deal for the company I was with at the time when I immediately told him to shut the hell up because of the great music I was hearing. I lost the account but that was fine because I was enthralled by this track (I was also enthralled by a gorgeous and curvaceous waitress named Lenora – whose supple curves suggested a healthy enjoyment of the food she served and a lusty zest for life that would have undoubtedly made her a spectacular kisser but that is another hopeless unrequited love story for another day). The rhythm was what struck me initially about this song. It was fast and insistent and as irresistible as a life preserver thrown to a drowning man. I wanted to jump on the tables and dance maniacally (and subsequently win Mayra’s heart as a result) but I resisted this urge. The second thing that struck me was the harmonies. Las Hermanas Terrazas are singing in perfect melodic harmony on this one and the results are stunning. I have read others compare this group to ABBA and I can definitely see that here. This is a great track with catchy and cute-as-a-button lyrics. Those who have not should also check out the original by Flans.

Hoy Y Siempre: This starts off with a male vocal, unfortunately I am not sure who exactly in the group it is and could not locate any corresponding information from the booklet. Initially, it is disappointing to hear another singer because Vicky and Marisol both have such sweet voices [sweet as in lovely, not sweet as in jive talkin’ (which is a great song by the Bee Gees incidentally)]. This is especially true of Vicky who has a voice like honey. If it were possible I would happily strip naked and cover myself with her voice and then go lay down on a red anthill. But alas, it seems that dream is simply not meant to be. At any rate Las Terrazas and this as yet unnamed gentlemen also harmonize well together. I do like this song but I feel it is overshadowed a little by what comes before and after.

Te Amo - A simple glance at the album’s liner notes (for dopes like me who still buy music in the plastic form) tell me that this song was written by none other than the great Marco Antonio Solis, he from Los Bukis and subsequent solo career who has sold zillions of albums and written songs for countless artists (he even wrote a song for my upcoming mariachi album which is set for release at the beginning of the new year). Point being, this guy knows how to write great music (everyone knows the song Tu Carcel, and if you don’t then you better check it out right this second) And this song is just one more brick in his wall of song goodiness. The duranguense instrumentation really shines on this track and the snare and keyboards have ample room to breathe and provide the perfect backdrop for the singing. Vicky’s vocal is as strong and passionate as we’ve come to expect, with each chorus ever more powerful and thick with simultaneous expressions love and heartbreak. The keyboard line gets stuck in my head for weeks on end. The video is quite elegant as well. I will attempt to post it here within this blog but will probably fail since I’m a blathering idiot who doesn’t know dick about computers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xggfRQHYHN8&ob=av2e

There it is, wow, I have to be one of the dumbest people online right now.

Could this be my favorite song on the album? As Patrick Bateman once said "It’s difficult to choose a favorite among so many great tracks" but this definitely ranks up there. A contemporary classic of the genre I would dare say and an all around gorgeous gem of a song.

Niegalo: I once knew a beautiful free spirit who loved this song, we danced to this one in a private room away from the bureaucracy that would eventually and unjustly remove her from the life she loved. Now is not the time to discuss that topic but perhaps later. I’m going to sound like redundant jerk who just repeats himself a lot and says the same thing over and over again but the bloody harmonizing, the BLOODY harmonizing, always punctuated with a lead vocal that switches between the two. Ultimately, this is a standout track – not as major or impacting as Te Amo – but definitely essential on this album.

Corazon Romantico: I could be mistaken but I believe the lead vocal on this song is by Marisol. Her voice is a little rougher than that of her sister and she strains a bit to hit the right notes sometimes but she comes with her own unique charm. The bassline really kicks (I’m so hip with the musical vernacular) and that drum keeps things chugging along. The keyboard melody is also quite nice and this song ultimately lives up to its title and is a neat little love letter of a song, the type that’ll tuck you in at night after a kiss on the forehead.

Vamonos: Another track featuring prominent male vocals. The little touches of guitar (I think it’s guitar but I’m probably wrong) add a lot this one. Honestly, this song usually passes by without my noticing.

Eras Tu: This song immediately slaps me hard across the face - drawing blood and sending me crashing into a nearby wall - because of the sheer prettiness of the melodies and romantic instrumentation. That’s right, I used the word "prettiness", nothing else fits. This song is not at all like making out with a stranger with each respective tongue down one another’s throat - thoroughly exchanging saliva and all manner of germs - while fondling one another with greedy hands like an eager and awkward teen on homecoming night. No, this song is like that small, intimate kiss your significant other gives in those quiet yet impassioned moments where s/he knows that it is the intimacy - the suggestion - that is the most enthralling, it is the kiss of an experienced, confident and irresistible woman. On a quick side note you may have noticed how I used "s/he" instead of the more common and some would say subtly chauvinistic he/she. Holy shit am I progressive, look at all the change I’m bringing about with a single blog post. Vicky’s singing is a highlight and the harmonies once again shine. This is may be the centerpiece of the album, a beautiful and touching ballad that works well within the conventions of the genre while showing why those conventions work so well in the first place.

Ya No Voy a Llorar: This is more an up tempo track, especially wedged in between these other two. The piano sections during the chorus stick to my brain like expired mustard to the roof of the mouth. This is a good track but a little slight. The piano and strong vocals bring it up a few notches.

Tan Solo en Ti: Vicky hits one of her great high-pitched notes near the end. Another elegant song, a lullaby for a lover (that’s such a good description that you should expect to see it show up in many future reviews, self plagiarism may not be as fun as self love but it is at least a little less messy and without the self loathing that always follows). This song builds to that final crescendo in subtle ways, the vocals guide it all. I can’t decide if I think this group does ballads or the faster tracks better but these tender love songs are truly effective.

Ahora Que No Estas: We get to this track and I am struck by the variety in this album. It is definitely duranguense through and through but the group manages to work in several different influences and textures throughout. Credit must be given to the band whose playing is always supportive while often producing musical lines that still sound great when isolated, not an easy feat (I always had trouble with this during my days as a session drummer for Island Records). Los Horoscopos sometimes have nice juicy slices of Latin Pop cut into their music and this song reminds me a good deal of Ana Gabriel (swoon). Very interesting Coda to this one and every time I listen this album or song I am always looking forward to those last 20 seconds or so.

Julio Castro: The first of two Corridos on this disc. A Corrido is essentially a song that tells a story and I don’t know too much else about the structure or how to describe it (see how well my ambition of being a premiere source for Latin music reviews and analysis is starting up?!). This and the other near the end are two faves. I can’t discuss the lyrics much because I foolishly haven’t paid a lot of attention to them but the corridos in particular on this disc have such pure instrumentation and sound even better when drinking heavily.

Que Bello Error: This is standard mid tempo fare. There are some interesting keyboard melodies but this song spends too much time in one spot and doesn’t really make its presence known. Not bad, not great.

Para Volver A Mi: This is a cute little number where the gals are singing about that universal theme of an ex that did way wrong and all the things said ex will have to do to if s/he hopes to win that love back. Good singing and lyrics, a little slight like an earlier track but enjoyable.

Juntos: The last track here with a co-lead male vocal and the most successful in my opinion. The reason being is this song is built on melodies and those hooks stick right in my mouth and rip out of my cheek, pulling me forward in a bloody mess. The brass really accentuates those melodies. The ending reminds me a bit of Ahora Que No Estas from a few songs prior and that is most assuredly a good thing. Yet another elegant love song.

Catarino y Los Rurales: Y quien dicen que las mujeres no cantan corridos? Vicky poses the question we all ask ourselves from time to time at the beginning of this song: Who says women don’t sing corridos? Certainly not me. In fact, if I ever do meet someone who says this I will have no choice but to savagely beat them to within an inch of their life. Those who know me best know that I typically spend my nights masquerading across rooftops and fighting crime. But they also know that the female singing voice is something I hold in very high regard. In fact it downright cheeses me off how so many people (mostly dudes who, to be fair, are often too busy being totally awesome bros) dismiss female singers. Oh well, it is there loss I suppose. Mexican music is FILLED with female singers with beautiful voices but I’m getting way off topic here which is unlike me so I apologize. This is the second of the corridos I mentioned and my personal favorite of the two. These songs just demand parties and dancing and good times. The instrumentation is unrestrained and the vocals let lose with those glorious yelps. The production on this track is worth noting and definitely has a less polished feel to it which adds to the thick regional flavor. Slammin’ conclusion to a slammin’ album. What more can I – whoa, wait, hold on a minute, I guess I spoke too soon....

There’s a sly bonus track here: La Virgen De Las Novias: Well, sly really isn’t the right word for it. Maybe reductive or pedantic or lugubrious. Nope, none of those words fit either, oh well. I don’t want to speak out of turn here but this song seems to be something of a prayer and I think might be about brides somehow (man I’m stupid). The sisters take turns on lead vocal and the soft melodies gently float up and down. The song overall is a final kiss goodnight as the last candle is blown out. Another highlight and one that may be the true sleeper here. A good ending.

And there we have it. This album is slightly long in the tooth (an issue they would remedy on later works) but is overall a stellar and creative effort and a great introduction to the genre and a great work to have in your collection. I’ve had this one for a couple years now and it still receives regular spins. I recommend this album to anyone who has ever had a semi-coherent thought. If you’ve never seriously listened to regional mexican music or duranguense I would just say to go in with an open mind and a willingness to explore new music. Fortunately Los Horoscopos De Durango always inject a little Latin pop flavor into their songs which may help to make them more palatable for the uninitiated. However don’t be surprised if this first disc acts a gateway drug to this wonderful music as it was for me.

I give this album two big toes way up! Thanks for reading!

Album Review: I'm With You by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

So the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album has arrived at last, a mere 5 short years after the double disc Stadium Arcadium. Everyone has been clamoring for my review, dying to know if I would give it the coveted pass or the dreaded fail. Certainly, my review being held in such high regard – many a past album’s success or failure has hinged upon my recommendation or lack thereof – is a responsibility I take very seriously. For that reason this review is a tad verbose but not nearly as much as it could have been (been pronounced Canadian style like “bean” because I like the sound of that better). I’ll spare the history lesson for the time being because I’m certain that will come at a later date. The Chili Peppers were my favorite band for many years and there was a time when my love for them was so intense I would have jumped into a tank of great white sharks wearing a chum tuxedo if they had asked. My love for this band continues – that shall never change - but I have since found many other artists to take their place or higher in some cases. Despite this I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t one of my most anticipated music releases of the year, made even more interesting by the addition of new guitarist Josh Klinghoffer. Truly, this is a time of renaissance for these merry gentlemen and they sound inspired. But inspiration does not always cut through the way it should. Are the incandescent hooks still present? What about the sly and persistent riffs? And how about the thick and juicy bass licks, are those still on display? Read on dear followers, read on and all shall be revealed….


Monarchy of Roses kicks things off on a truly inspired note. The verses call to mind Warped from the underrated One Hot Minute though I’m sure if one were to ask the band about this they would say something like "Those two songs have a definite spirit about them but do not co-mingle at all, they are each their own color, their own shade in the Chili Peppers rainbow" and I suppose they would be right, that is simply what the verses bring to my brain. We have AK using a wacky vocal effect which cheeses some people off to no end while others grin enthusiastically while still others stand by with no discernible emotional reaction since they barely notice. I dig the effect, it sounds down and dirty and gritty [much like Frank Miller’s seminal comic book classic The Dark Knight Returns (actually, this humble writer always preferred Year One to DKR but I can’t deny it’s influence)]. Yes, it’s a real grimy sound and it suits his voice and I’m listening and thinking okay, this is a nice track. But then...wait...DAMN...the dynamics of this song are intense and it’s a cool wash of relief to hear dynamics in their songs again (though they kind of leave after this one but more on that later). The chorus erupts like discofied volcano, spewing funky yet melodic hot lava all over the damn place. Seriously, that chorus is epic and sounds great blowing out the car speakers when one is driving at night (Warlocks from Stadium Arcadium works well for this too). Kiedis’s lyrics sound interesting though I have not delved too deeply into them for this particular song. With this track I must take a moment to talk about the lip smacking new guitarist - The Condiment King himself - Mr. Josh Klinghoffer. Any doubts I may have had were to put to rest when we get to that strange wonderful solo like moment around halfway through the song. You know what I’m talking about (statement, not question). It sounds like two angry ambient monsters are battling it out for control of some new musical metropolis. It is a spectacular moment and I believe not something Frusciante ever would have done on a Chili Peppers record. Now hang on there devoted followers of the Fru, before you lynch me I’m not at all saying he COULDN’T play something like that, of course he could. I’m simply saying it’s completely different from the solos and such he would put on their albums. That difference means this song is not only kick-arse but also a huge breath of fresh air, always good with a band. We chorus out and I conclude that this a great opener and indeed a great song.

Factory of Faith: We start off with a butt-munchingly good bass line (this album is full of them, I haven’t been able to sit down all week) and this is countered by Kiedis’s snarky delivery. Flea and drummer Chad Smith are locked into a liquid-tight groove which lets Josh fill in the blanks and throw in some interesting effects in the coda. This is an infectious little number and though I at first thought it was a bit too slight I now think it is one of the weirdly essential songs here. I like to put this song on while I perform my morning routine of shower, shave and self-loath – briefly contemplating suicide by razor to the jugular before resigning myself to one more day, just one more day. It usually cheers me up so it must be doing something right.

Brendan’s Death Song: Beautiful. We start off with an elegant acoustic guitar that is so wonderfully straightforward and unassuming; it’s like a sweet and gentle gaze by a beautiful stranger from across the bar. So many folk think things need to be avante garde (sic)and abstract or Shred City when it comes to guitar (incidentally, the one trip I took to Shred City ended with me waking up in the middle of an alley and then promptly stripped naked, tarred and feathered, you can bet I won’t be making a return trip back there any time soon). Truth be told, I love weird stuff (for instance, I’m very attracted to Beatrice Dalle’s brutal and merciless killer from the great contemporary French horror classic A’ l’interieur or Inside for us Americans) but sometimes it is the simple and melodic that can be so much more powerful. AK’s melody is surprisingly lovely as well. You can hear the mourning and passion in his voice as he recites his eulogy like lyrics. The song gets rather intense halfway through with a psychotic burst of drumming from Smith but this too underscores the loss described here. Anthony’s plaintive wails at the end are another welcome surprise and show the continued marked improvement in his singing.

Ethiopia: My beloved friend Willem Joseph Montejamo sited (or cited if you prefer) this as his favorite song of the new disc. Now, I hold Willem Joseph’s opinion in the utmost regard but music is rarely something we see eye to eye on (especially that time he tried to convince me that U2 is just a poor man’s Coldplay, haha, what a crazy loon that W.J.). This song is also not something we see eye to eye on. I must admit that I did not particularly care for this song at first. Anthony’s repeated E I O I E A reminded a little too much of that old jazz standard Old McDonald’s Farm, and then the chorus melody sounds like a direct copy of the one in Dani California (at least to my lamebrain). But everyone else seems to love this song so I decided to be a happy conformist and jump on the bandwagon too. No, I’m just kidding. I don’t love this one but it is starting to grow on me like an untended fungus - particularly after seeing a live version of it on their recent theatrically released concert. The bass is succulent and solid and Chad rocks as hard as ever - Chad actually rocks throughout this entire disc - but other than that I still haven’t found much to be excited about here. The track just seems to go by before I even realize it’s playing. Oh well, I’ll remain in the spat upon minority.

Annie Wants a Baby: Immediately the bass line reminds me of This Is The Place, excellent song from the excellent By the Way. But other than that this tune is completely different. I would call this the real sleeper of the album, the creeper, the daydreamer and the non-powdered dairy creamer. This song doesn’t reach out and slap you across the face but simply caresses your shoulder – that stranger from the bar inching ever closer. The vocals and guitar melt into one another and the effect is lovely. That said, this song might be a little too subtle for it’s own good and I start to nod off in the middle of it….

Look Around: Yes! Just when I think this album is hitting a dry patch along comes this song to properly lubricate things all over again. At last! This track is really funk on a stick classic Chili Peppers reflected through the technicolor prism of a glorious new age of Red Hot musical evolution (seriously Rolling Stone Magazine, give me a call and for the right price, this glorious prose can grace your pages as well). AK fills the song with his usual nonsense lyrics about stuff and things but it doesn’t get on my nerves this time around because I’m too wrapped in the bone-crunching beat. I usually don’t like the AC-DC style of chorus whereby the singer simply repeats a meaningless bumper sticker phrase 6,285 times over a power chord background but the momentum is so strong here that I find myself singing along with him and pounding my chest like a rabid ape. Anthony’s breakdown sounds an awful lot like the breakdown in By the Way but that’s okay too and the sexy harmonizing he and J.K. do at the end sends me spiraling across my room in a bold spurt of suggestive interpretive dance. I love this song so much that if it were a breakfast cereal I would have two bowls of it for breakfast, even going so far as to include sliced bananas and raspberries and not brushing my teeth afterward so the taste would linger through the day. A real highlight.

The Adventures of Raindance Maggie: This was quite a divisive first single wasn’t it? Though with the album firmly in my filthy hands I can see why it was the first single as it is one of the most easily accessible tracks here. We start off with another top notch bass line from La Pulga before the Swan comes in with his defiantly old school quasi-rap. The chorus was a bit jarring to me at first and seemed out of place. It still feels like that a bit but I do love the sound. The Rolling Stones vibe that Flea and every other critic in the world latched onto is in full force on that chorus. Hoffer does some tasty guitar bends and there may be enough cowbell present to even satisfy that persistent cynic Christopher Walken (keep on rockin’ Walken). Not much to say here, a good track, not essential damn it but good and sometimes that’s all you need.

Did I Let You Know: What’s this, something new? A definite Latin jazz influence is on display here, or maybe it’s a merengue influence. I’m not sure because I’m a musically ignorant bastard who only namedrops to sound knowledgable. I kind of get an Olga Tanon or Melina Leon vibe here but that’s probably due to the sever brain damage I suffered at the hands of Larry “El Longostino” Magana back in 83’. That was the match that ended my career as a professional boxer but you can never truly leave the sport behind, it’s in your blood. I’ll be a pugilist til’ the day I die. But I digress. The instrumentation is completely unique for the Pepps, which makes the song immediately stand out. The Kling’s vocals here are top notch. One of my favoritist bands in the world is The Who and a trait of theirs I always loved since I saw them play way back in the Summer of 71' is the band was never shy of allowing all the members to have a turn at vocals. Baba O’ Reilly is made even greater with Pete Townshend’s little lead part and hearing the Blade Yarder join Kiedis on the chorus in this song is a treat. The guy has a beautiful voice and I think this is only going to blossom with time. This track also has mad percussion and Flea’s trumpet ejaculating all over the place, which is always appreciated.

Goodbye Hooray: Another wonderful pop-rocker. For all the dogmatic whiners out there this is probably the closest we’ll get to a Mother’s Milk sounding track ever again. I don’t like this one quite as much as Look Around but it’s close. Flea and Klinghoffer each take a turn tearing their respective stringed instruments to shreds and it’s a Wash (great Pearl Jam b-side) as to which one I prefer. Not much to say here, a great hyperactive song.

Happiness Loves Company: This is the standout track for me right now. It definitely has an old school classic rock vibe to it but in the end sounds like a song that could only come from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The piano is the burst of positive energy that puts it over the top and combines with AK’s vocals to create the aural equivalent of frolicking around your favorite town, picking up potential mates and partying like it’s 1999 (where the sky was all purple no less). Smith’s drumming is right in the pocket (I love throwing out musical phrases like that since I have no discernable musical talent of my own) and I so with this song was longer. I could listen to this chorus 247 times in a row and not grow tired of it.

Police Station: They played this (along with 12 of the other album’s tracks) at the aforementioned theatrically released concert and this is clearly a live anthem. This may be AK’s best vocal performance on the disc and his voice really soars in the chorus while the music expands around him, air currents of guitar, bass and drums that push his lyrics up higher. Speaking of lyrics, they are rather poetic this time. I won’t go into any analysis because this is still too fresh but they are well worth reading. The piano adds a nice eerie, touch to this track.

Even You Brutus: Many audacious claims have been made about this track with large factions calling it the best song on the album and saying that Tony Flow’s vocals are akin to Eminem or Jay-Z. I would disagree with both those claims. The verses don’t really sound like rap to me, just shouting in an almost classic rock style (a la Come Together by The Beatles). I can see some hip-hop similarities with the piano but that’s about it. Anthony’s cat like growl punctuating the chorus is a more than welcome vocalizing trick and makes me laugh with unadulterated joy every time I hear it. In fact, this whole track is top notch, Kling does some great subtle work in the chorus and Flea and Chad are as on point as ever. This is the song I will pump up in my car – both to and from work – turning the volume loud and shouting along to every word. I’ll stare at people when we’re parked side by side at the lights and sing ever more loud, daring them to look my way and say something so I can promptly exit the vehicle, pull them out through the window by the shirt collar and savagely beat them to within an inch of their worthless lives. This track is a definite standout and does not sound quite like anything else in their catalogue.

Meet at the Corner: The sequencing of this album is peculiar and it feels like the disc concludes with a series of songs that individually may be great but are each too mellow to place side by side. This song suffers due its placement (as hip as Even You Brutus is, it’s still not quite a righteous, sadistic gut punching rocker). This song is reminiscent of Hey of Stadium Arcadium. I love Hey but right now I only like this song. The chorus is stirring and the bass and guitar have a beautiful interaction but this one tends to fade into the background until the last 90 seconds or so. But that last 90 seconds is a doozy, the melody shifts and AK’s delivery shines. Hoff’s country tinged guitar solo at the end is touching with the only complaint that it is far too short. Maybe that’s the point though; surely wanting more is a sign of a job well done in this case. Still, I hope to one day visit a Parallel Universe where that solo stretches on for a lot longer.

Dance Dance Dance: And here we are at the last track of the album. Surprisingly this is not a cover of the great song by the Steve Miller Band but a teeth shatteringly dreamy original. I’m always curious to see if an artist will try and go for a big, epic, dramatic finish (Venice Queen), go for something subdued (Road Trippin’), go for something ball bashing (Johnny Kick a Hole in the Sky) or even go out on a little comical number (They’re Red Hot). Despite the plethora of choices I just left I’m not sure where this concluding track would fit in, guess I really wrote myself into a corner there, didn’t I? This is one of the best songs on the album – so says me – and is my other fave. RHCP have of a few of these super ethereal tracks – Warm Tape and Don’t Forget Me from By the Way, Animal Bar from Stadium Arcadium, Porcelain from Californication, and they are always spellbinding. I don’t think this matches my fave of Warm Tape (at least not yet) but it is an achingly gorgeous track with superb drums and bass (not to be confused with the popular electronic offshoot genre drum n’ bass, of which David Bowie did an entire album of called Earthling, oh Bowie, how you have stolen my heart). Smith’s drums during the chorus are elegant and inspired. Flea’s bass locks in and creates that dream like pastoral backdrop that leaves Anthony and Josh free to paint further with melodic ambience. Seriously, I know some are complaining that this is a weird note to end on but I could not disagree more. They’re going out on a dream note, taking you to that strange and mysterious plateau where the must is just the sound of your emotions running free. This was the PERFECT track to end on.

So there we have it, my track by track. Let us take a moment for some parting thoughts.

Something must be said about Anthony Kiedis’s lyrics here. I used to love his lyrics until I discovered…well, that will all be discussed further in the future. AK’s lyrics are clever but very often it feels like that’s all they are, with precious little behind them. This can make their songs seems shallow at times. I cannot deny his talent for wordsmithing but his style sometimes makes really connecting with a song difficult. Still, he does have several standout moments on this album and many of the disc’s most soaring choruses are made so through his contributions. His overall work on this album is good and strong but very little is surprising. His contributions are almost exactly what one would expect and I hope he can progress a bit in the future.

Flea must be voted as the MVP for this album. The face humping bass is the porn shop sticky glue that holds these 14 tracks together. I know he had a massive calloused hand in composing many of these tracks and his writing is strong throughout. He and Smith are in their finest form in years and both sound revitalized.

Speaking of Chad Smith, he does interesting work all over this album, rocking hard with tasty fills and leaving all kinds of unexpected percussive imprints. It seems Rick Rubin must have been asleep at the controls when he let some interesting drum work slip through. I have long been hoping they would use a different producer from Rick Rubin and I will continue to hope for that. Aside from track 1, this album suffers the same plight of their last few efforts: the music all exists on the same even and far too loud level. The instruments and vocals have no room to breathe and many parts that should sound incredible and dynamic are left sounding lifeless. This is not the band’s fault in any way as they are giving their all. Of course, I blew out my speakers a long time ago which could contribute to the iffy sound, hmmmm….

This finally leaves us with Josh Klinghoffer. I first became acquainted with his work way back in the summer of 76’ when I bought the John Frusciante album Shadows Collide With People on which Mr Klinghoffer played on, co-writing a couple tracks. I heard him on other Fru discs including the group they have together, Ataxia but I was never clear on what exactly he wrote and which contributions belonged to which artist. After hearing I’m With You I have no misgivings whatsoever about this man. He rises to the occasion of joining a band of this caliber, never overplaying his hand but doing great stuff all around. His sound is different, more ambient you might say, and is as refreshing as the first track. I have to question those expecting or even wanting him to be a John clone. What would be the point of that? It’s much more exciting to have a fresh voice within the band and if they continue in this configuration I believe we will be in store for some truly spectacular work.

In a bittersweet way this album has fully confirmed what I’ve known for a long time: The Chili Peppers are no longer my favorite band, nowhere near actually. Yet I still love them. I will stay play the hell out of this record and in ten or fifteen years when they release a new one I’ll be rocking out to that as well.

I still haven’t decided how I’m going to rate things. Right now, I’ll say this album is recommended with a good score of 333 stars out of a possible 408.

Everyone please feel free to leave comments, even if they are hateful and venomous (maybe especially).

Also, Ben Affleck is going to be cast as Batman in couple years.  Mark my words.

Thanks for reading.

What's the meaning of it all???

So, here it is, because NO ONE demanded it I am finally treating the public to a blog by yours truly. Herein you shall find all manner of discussion and reviews for all sorts of things I love and hate including music, movies, comics, books and whatever else seems interesting to me at the moment. The blog is a work in progress so suggestions for anything and feedback of any kind is always welcome. One day I shall be a famous writer but until then you can wet your appetites with the inspired articles here. Thanks for reading!

First Post

First posts always set the mood. And the mood sets the drood.