Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them


The most ironic thing in the history of humanity happened to me recently and I almost decided to sit down onto a turned on waffle iron as a result.  I am not a man who watches an abundance of new television programs.  I watch a fair amount of reruns of shows like Frasier, Star Trek the Next Generation (Next Gen for all you aging hipsters out there) and the odd Bugs Bunny cartoon but hot new shows are typically not on my radar.  I am not sure when it happened but at some point TV began to disappointment me constantly – almost as much as the continued trajectory of my life – and I began to distance myself from it as an artistic and entertainment medium.  The chief reason for this disappointment is TV’s inherently protracted nature.  Though in theory this expanded time to tell a story and develop characters should provide opportunities for a richer, more fully realized world it too often means shows stick around far past their expiration date and devolve into self-parody.  


With a complete lack of adequate transition I shall say From Dusk Til’ Dawn is a messy, feverish and sweaty film and a true 90’s gem. The crazed minds of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (who also co-starred in the flick as the nutty Richie Gecko) produced a truly unique crime slash vampire caper that still holds up today for sheer violent north and south-of-the-border debauchery.  I have since followed closely the careers of both men and was excited to learn Rodriguez was launching a new TV channel called El Rey with the intent on targeting that mysterious third generation of Latino viewer.  It was a grand idea, especially since it was announced Lucha Libre would be coming to the network later in the year, few things in this miserable world give me as much delight as Lucha Libre.  I like to imagine myself being pummeled mercilessly by a group of Luchadoras while they call me “patetico” and “feo”.  



Of course the network would also be developing its own original programming and the first of these – the “launch” series if you will – would be From Dusk Til’ Dawn: The Series.  My initial skepticism was quickly muted when I learned how deep Rodriguez would be involved in the show’s production, including directing at least 4 of the initial season’s 10 episodes.  Imagine my shock and heartbreak when I learned my craven cable provider does not provide this channel.  My mind immediately raced for a solution to the problem and this was found during the startling revelation that each episode would be available online is some strange format the day after it aired on television.  Turns out the easiest avenue for yours truly would be through Amazon. 



I was recently involved in a heated debate with my beloved friend Calvin Black over the best way to purchase these episodes.  At the time I not decided whether I would purchase them one at a time as they become available or if I would simply buy a season pass at a reduced priced.  Please note, even if the show becomes a steaming pile of manure I have resolved myself to watch this entire 10 episode season, this decision was made early on.  Having recently converted to the Nation of Gods and Earths, Black attempted to use Supreme Mathematics to explain to me the money I would save by simply springing for the season pass.  He told me it only made sense to purchase by episode if I thought there exists a chance I may not want to view the entire season. I took his advice under advisement but ultimately felt I would truer to myself purchasing by episode.  I am pleased with my decision. 

Having now viewed the first episode of the series {what we in the business call a “pilot” episode [not to be confused with the similarly pronounced surname of Biblical figure Pontius Pilate (which in turn should not be confused with the song “Pilate” from Pearl Jam’s much loved 1997 album Yield)]} I can say I look forward to the remainder of the season with great relish and sauerkraut. The show seems interested in expanding on the mythology and residents of the Titty Twister Bar which is always something I wanted to delve into.  The brief monster designs also look old-school and Lovecraftian in truly delightful ways.  The rapport of the Gecko brothers is also quite good.  I was initially worried as D.J. Cotrona seemed to be trying too hard to channel George Clooney but this softened as the episode progressed and I believe he will find a more unique fully realized take on the character. 


This movie is perhaps most fondly remembered for Salma Hayek’s dance scene which has caused to erupt into uncontrollable ecstasy at countless times in my life.  Wonderous!  Perfection!  Glory!  Ever since seeing the movie I’ve had a deeply unhealthy fixation on her character Santanico Pandemonium, to the extent where it has cost me employment and relationships.  How I have longed for her to ensnare me in her web of terror and then make me her slave and foot stool for all eternity.  Quentin Tarantino was so smart when he wrote the script that the scene includes a moment where he is actually sucking on Ms. Hayek’s toe.  No hyperbole, there are very few things I can imagine being greater in life.  Naturally I was more curious than a can with 59 legs to see who would be playing the part of Pandemonium and to what extent her character would be featured.  I am pleased as a rat bastard to report that Eiza Gonzalez – from the bits seen in the pilot – is able to fill out the role with her own brand of sexuality and menace.  Since this character appears in the opening scene and is used to expound on Richie’s character later – in a way not done at all in the movie – I am very intrigued to see where this heads. 


                                          


It’s not perfect.  It’s a bit on the expository and telegraphed side and elongating scenes from the movie that were so brisk did make it almost drag in parts (though that could be my own bias talking).  Still, it captured surprisingly well the sense of wonderful, gritty, sexy schlock that is Rodriguez’s calling card.  I give a super solid B+ right now with the option of a re-grade in the future.  I am in this one for the long haul. 




If asked for a physical description of me please tell the authorities I am 5’12”, weakly built, about 259 pounds, eyes orange, hair pink, I mentioned I was living in Wisconsin but may have lied. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

wolf pig elk

  That’s right! It’s your old pal Jimmy Adjudication!   AKA Johnny Impotency! Here I sit, in my Fortress of Ineptitude, pecking out purple p...