The most ironic thing in
the history of humanity happened to me recently and I almost decided to sit
down onto a turned on waffle iron as a result. I am not a man who
watches an abundance of new television programs. I watch a fair
amount of reruns of shows like Frasier, Star Trek the Next Generation (Next Gen
for all you aging hipsters out there) and the odd Bugs Bunny cartoon but hot
new shows are typically not on my radar. I am not sure when it
happened but at some point TV began to disappointment me constantly – almost as
much as the continued trajectory of my life – and I began to distance myself
from it as an artistic and entertainment medium. The chief reason
for this disappointment is TV’s inherently protracted nature. Though
in theory this expanded time to tell a story and develop characters should provide
opportunities for a richer, more fully realized world it too often means shows
stick around far past their expiration date and devolve into self-parody.
With a complete lack of adequate transition I shall say From Dusk Til’ Dawn is a messy, feverish and sweaty film and a true
90’s gem. The crazed minds of Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (who
also co-starred in the flick as the nutty Richie Gecko) produced a truly unique
crime slash vampire caper that still holds up today for sheer violent north and
south-of-the-border debauchery. I have since followed closely the
careers of both men and was excited to learn Rodriguez was launching a new TV
channel called El Rey with the intent on targeting that mysterious third
generation of Latino viewer. It was a grand idea, especially since
it was announced Lucha Libre would be coming to the network later in the year,
few things in this miserable world give me as much delight as Lucha Libre.
I like to imagine myself being pummeled mercilessly by a group of Luchadoras
while they call me “patetico” and “feo”.
Of course the network would
also be developing its own original programming and the first of these – the
“launch” series if you will – would be From
Dusk Til’ Dawn: The Series. My initial skepticism was quickly
muted when I learned how deep Rodriguez would be involved in the show’s
production, including directing at least 4 of the initial season’s 10
episodes. Imagine my shock and
heartbreak when I learned my craven cable provider does not provide this
channel. My mind immediately raced for a
solution to the problem and this was found during the startling revelation that
each episode would be available online is some strange format the day after it
aired on television. Turns out the
easiest avenue for yours truly would be through Amazon.
I was recently involved
in a heated debate with my beloved friend Calvin Black over the best way to
purchase these episodes. At the time I not decided whether I would
purchase them one at a time as they become available or if I would simply buy a
season pass at a reduced priced. Please note, even if the show
becomes a steaming pile of manure I have resolved myself to watch this entire
10 episode season, this decision was made early on. Having recently converted to the Nation of
Gods and Earths, Black attempted to use Supreme Mathematics to explain to me
the money I would save by simply springing for the season pass. He
told me it only made sense to purchase by episode if I thought there exists a
chance I may not want to view the entire season. I took his advice under
advisement but ultimately felt I would truer to myself purchasing by
episode. I am pleased with my
decision.
Having now viewed the
first episode of the series {what we in the business call a “pilot” episode
[not to be confused with the similarly pronounced surname of Biblical figure
Pontius Pilate (which in turn should not be confused with the song “Pilate”
from Pearl Jam’s much loved 1997 album Yield)]} I can say I look forward to the
remainder of the season with great relish and sauerkraut. The show seems
interested in expanding on the mythology and residents of the Titty Twister Bar
which is always something I wanted to delve into. The brief monster designs also look
old-school and Lovecraftian in truly delightful ways. The rapport of the Gecko brothers is also
quite good. I was initially worried as
D.J. Cotrona seemed to be trying too hard to channel George Clooney but this
softened as the episode progressed and I believe he will find a more unique
fully realized take on the character.
This movie is perhaps
most fondly remembered for Salma Hayek’s dance scene which has caused to erupt into uncontrollable ecstasy at countless times in my life. Wonderous! Perfection! Glory! Ever since seeing
the movie I’ve had a deeply unhealthy fixation on her character Santanico
Pandemonium, to the extent where it has cost me employment and
relationships. How I have longed for her to ensnare me in her web of
terror and then make me her slave and foot stool for all eternity. Quentin Tarantino was so smart when he wrote
the script that the scene includes a moment where he is actually sucking on Ms.
Hayek’s toe. No hyperbole, there are
very few things I can imagine being greater in life. Naturally I was more curious than a can with
59 legs to see who would be playing the part of Pandemonium and to what extent
her character would be featured. I am
pleased as a rat bastard to report that Eiza Gonzalez – from the bits seen in
the pilot – is able to fill out the role with her own brand of sexuality and
menace. Since this character appears in
the opening scene and is used to expound on Richie’s character later – in a way
not done at all in the movie – I am very intrigued to see where this
heads.
It’s not perfect. It’s a bit on the expository and telegraphed
side and elongating scenes from the movie that were so brisk did make it almost
drag in parts (though that could be my own bias talking). Still, it captured surprisingly well the
sense of wonderful, gritty, sexy schlock that is Rodriguez’s calling card. I give a super solid B+ right now with the
option of a re-grade in the future. I am
in this one for the long haul.
If asked for a physical
description of me please tell the authorities I am 5’12”, weakly built, about
259 pounds, eyes orange, hair pink, I mentioned I was living in Wisconsin but
may have lied.
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