Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Please use the triangle choke!


I recently watched In the Blood starring Gina Carano, Luis Guzman, Stephen Lang and the ever ubiquitous Danny Trejo.  From the moment I first heard of this film’s development I knew my healthy Carano obsession would lead me to a purchase and I checked for news on a daily basis until the moment of its release.  So it was that I found myself at Best Buy staring at this item on the rack.  My eyes were as wide as saucers full of milk and my heart was pounding with all the intensity of one man savagely beating to death another with his bare hands due to a racial dispute.  I made the purchase, went home, drew the curtains, poured myself a scotch, loosened my neck tie and watched.  
Truth be told I found the film to be quite enjoyable.  In a shell of nut the story concerns Ava (Carano) searching for her missing husband in the Caribbean and kicking lots or arse along the way.  It is a blissfully simple tale at its heart yet with enough layering and nuance to add just the right amount of depth and an excellent star vehicle for Carano’s growing talents as an actress. I had and continue to have even in this modern age misgivings about Haywire (though the scene where she fights Michael Fassbender is one of the few things that makes my failed life worth living, how I wish she would...), the former MMA fighter’s feature film debut but In the Blood is an altogether more straightforward affair and therefore more satisfying in an immediate (though perhaps narrower in the long run) sense.  John Stockwell’s direction is assured and confident and he thankfully employs an unobtrusive editing style to tell his story and his story’s action scenes.  He and cinematographer P.J. Lopez make the most of the beautiful Caribbean setting which gives the movie a unique flavor amongst its brethren (Stockwell seems to thrive on these settings as a glance at his filmography shows he as the man behind the camera on similarly attractive movies such as Blue Crush, Into the Blue and Turistas). 
The performances are good all around – no one necessarily exceptional yet no one hitting any false notes either.  Carano is a more than credible action heroine and she has a charming presence which has caused me to fall deeply in love with her and thusly unable to really render an accurate review of her acting prowess.  I won’t hide it anymore: I adored every second of the film in which she appeared and burst into tears several times at the sheer power of the love I felt.  Guzman and Trejo are always delights to see and though I wish Lang had more screen time his role is pivotal and well played.  As alluded to, the actions scenes are quite well done with some tense stunts and refreshingly above average hand to hand combat where Carano continues to impress though one does wish there for a bit less gunplay and bit more of those MMA skills.
Subsequent to viewing the feature film I also watched the making of documentary included on the disc.  I found this to be immensely satisfying and it enriched my appreciation for the flick when I saw and heard the passion that Stockwell and my Gina have for it.  No doubt they knew they were not reinventing the wheel or producing something quite as profound as a Schindler’s List yet this knowledge of their limitations seemed to push them to provide the best possible version of the film they were making and that is the key.  It is truly amazing how many filmmakers try and push their movie in a direction for which it is obviously not suited.  Make no mistake: In The Blood is a B movie but it is a lovingly made B movie and that is what turns it into a good time.  They seem to have a genuine fondness for the old fashioned meat and potatoes action type movie and this is quite endearing to me as I have grown to greatly miss meat and potatoes style filmmaking.  In fact, I dare say this newfound affection of mine for this style of cinema is the source of my recent love and admiration of Mark Wahlberg films (as I alluded to in Monday’s post, helpful link here for new readers: http://creamybrandenblog.blogspot.com/2014/06/i-can-feel-like-child.html). Wahlberg’s movies are frequently stuffed full of meat and potatoes.  
I also can’t miss this extraordinary opportunity to point out that Carano is dating Mr. Man O’ Steel himself Henry Cavill and the two make a strong, strikingly beautiful couple. Unfortunately I burned what clout I had at Warner Bros. Studios during the summer of 95’ and I have been persona non grata with the brothers ever since otherwise I would have strongly pushed for Carano to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming film Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (what a fucking unholy mouthful of a title that is!) as well as the subsequent Justice League and Wonder Woman solo films.  Carano has the presence and strength of character to pull off the role of the Amazon princess with grace and ease.  Seeing her as Diana of Themyscira would literally make all my dreams come true.  Gal Gadot is just too damn thin for the role and scholarly opinion has repeatedly echoed this sentiment since the moment of her casting.  
I’m sorry everyone.  I realize now how guilty I’ve been of thin shaming toward Gadot in the press.  I once knew a gal (not Gadot) who said being called too skinny was just as hurtful as being called fat.  It is difficult for me to believe this – most likely because I am repulsive bloated hog of a man and it hurts greatly when people point it out – yet I know it is not right to single someone out for their thinness either.  I take back what I said.  I believe in Gal.  I believe she’ll do a fine job in the role and I eagerly await her performance.  It’s not right to judge her in the part before I’ve seen it.  What a bastard I am.  What a hopeless, miserable bastard.  Still, Gina would have been great.  I have a fantasy where I’ve just had my head bashed in by a violent smuggler/local crime kingpin and I wake up in the hospital, look over and Gina Carano is sitting by my bed.  She puts a strong but gentle hand on my shoulder, kisses me on the forehead and tells me it will be okay.  In another we are dancing at a ball and she suddenly mistakes me for an undercover counterintelligence agent and she beats me to within an inch of my life before realizing her mistake and then carries me to a hospital.  I pass out upon entering the hospital and the last thing I see before it goes black is her beautiful face. 
I want to write something about objectification in one of my next posts.  

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