blue rose life (evil born on suburban street with lights going out, cassette tape, cameras, pbr & expresso) & black clad glory

Of course she was.  No.  of course she is.  he realized it a bit late in the game.  Comically so.  But it was the absence which clinched it for him.  Going in search and coming up short.  He had no choice but to laugh at himself and eat a cookie.  Red was the daily replacement.  There was no room for him to grouse.  A picture is worth fifty thousand words they say.  There was a picture last night and he would forever more curse himself for reneging in his self-appointed responsibilities.  There was a contest going on. In a sense you could say it was a battle of wills but that was really only the secondary internal conflict.  No, truth be told there was a very much a contest taking place of the classic variety.  And behold, he was suddenly filled with fear that he was unexpectedly made real by being seen through the glass.  Yet this ultimately did not seem to be the case.  But it could have been so and that makes so much difference doesn’t it?  

I found a list of fifty ambience . of course I was also watching Vampire and the Ballerina earlier.  How could I not be?  I’m still waiting on that package from Japan.  But when it arrives there’s no telling of the emotional damage it may do to me.  It’s going to be a massacre.  I think I’ll watch an old cold Cronenberg movie while I wait.  Why not?!  I need to make an appointment to engage in psychoplasmics.  The distortions of the flesh were certainly shocking.  Everything was strings but this caused no diminishment.  In the end we are just all too malleable piles of flesh.  things were drawn too tight and it was quite easy to draw blood, tear open this protoplasmic sack and bring forth my mutant baby.  Would we all be so brazen as to lick our mutant babies?  Only time will tell.  Time, patience, the right babies.  We are all just flesh.  Mounds of it really.  Wires.  Gaze upon the…

I’ve fallen madly in love with Klein’s monochromes.  That blue is so bluish it almost makes my eyes liquefy and ooze out of my fat ugly face.  I need to buy a book on o’ Yves asap.  Maybe one day I’ll find myself in a room where I do nothing but lay on the floor and stare at Klein’s monochromes while listening to discreet music by Brian Eno for hours on end.  Then maybe I’ll blow my brains out because what would there be left to do at that point?!  I love minimalism.  I see now the correlation in Joe Lally’s bass playing (and excellent albums) and where the seed of this was all planted for me in the Berlin trilogy (oh Low, oh sweet sweet Low).  I’ve been breaking glass in your room again. is there a correlation in Cronenberg’s early films?

He’s been able to stay true to that promise so far.  No records held yet.  The whispering conscience is uniquely female.  That seems appropriate.  Working on ideas for bass songs.  Anyone have any ideas to submit.  New forms or inspiration greet me and embrace me.  this is about this thing but also about the other.  It seems I have badly overlooked what could be quite a gem from the bone tomahawk man.  What an arrogant ass I am!  That should come as no surprise to those unfortunate souls who know me best.  My wishes have been ignored but that’s okay.  Exploration is in session perhaps.  Phantom thread had so much packed in to unravel.  It was wholly satisfying.  I feel so wonderful there.  his thoughts don’t even venture toward that killing and renewal.  Not when there. 

He made a bit of an error in judgment.  Was it a tactical error?  No, nothing so crass.  He thought he’d killed his muse.  But they are flowering everywhere, more than ever.  Returned.  What was the price for that sweet bread?  Please don’t take that as insult.  No, this was something different.  The sounds of a circus over and over afterward and thoughts of spinning.  Mustn’t forget someone so tall.  Not the focus but still more than welcome.  But returning to…are they the same person near and far?  Don’t drive.  Thank you.  He belongs in the service of.  Yes, and then afterward they lay together after dark and listen to kind of blue.  His thought are perhaps her thoughts.  What was the price of that?  I’m going to ask him, she thought, with a smile.  Leaving her glasses behind.  Worship later on underfoot.  Blood of Eden.  It all suddenly made sense in that moment.  All the earthly desires and instruments.  It was all connected and all so beautiful.  Not an accent at all.  Not really.  But perfect in its way.  Uniquely musical.  He’d forgotten how beautiful…without the…. Born again.  And at the moment of departure, as I stated earlier, flowering everywhere.  There was new and renewed inspiration taking hold.  Lovely. 

I watched the movie One Night With the King at some point recently.  Esther is a very good book to read.  I liked this movie.  It was quite colorful, quite nice to behold.  The narrative was very messy but overall I felt it’s heart was in the right place and the performance by the lead was sweet and endearing and carried the movie well. 

Maybe.  Just maybe.  Oh, how I love minimalism.  I was there in the café with my copy of Yves Peintures.  My eyes were penetrated and I saw clearly for the first time.  there is so much emptiness.  And so much beauty.  Oh, to be swept away in the flood.  In the end, las brujas more than sufficed.  Black and white.  You know what else I love? You do if you’ve read all this very carefully.  

And of course, a happy birthday to a very special someone.  Thank you.  A thousand, million zillion times thank you for everything.  The importance and inspiration cannot be overstated.  What would I do without…?  Not sure which to choose.  I will gladly travel down that road forever.  

not today but photo after and then regret too many memories, the blue again and cornflower and flowing black

Maybe later on I’ll have to make an epic double feature of Mr. Holland’s Opus and Krippendorf’s Tribe.  Then afterward I will promptly end it all.  I watched Miss Sloane last night and highly enjoyed it.  it made me deeply regret not seeing it on the big screen.  I suppose I’ll never forgive myself.  Why should I?  I’m such a useless person.  Boy, I sure do hate myself.  Oldman should have won the Oscar for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and I’ll fight anyone who says different.  I’m drinking coffee now.  I’ve had a crush on She-Hulk for a while now.  She is one in literally hundreds of thousands of crushes.  

It was electric blue again which invaded his thoughts.  He didn’t even realize at first how it previously the color of his room (where he would live).  They say a picture is worth 10,000 words but I think that is a gross understatement.  And not these new details call back fleeting irregular moments.  It’s a bit like a pirate, isn’t it?  Laughing.  Great laughter.  Accidently put the silly thing in reverse.  What a classic snafu.  So, do you like it?  I want to make sure that you like it.  He knows that could be a new one, a new font.  So obvious really, so obvious he couldn’t even see it.  New sale on the market.  We all know so very little.  There is much ink splayed out there.  and up top is so very lovely and black.  Everything present and accounted for but this is so dangerous.  Offered four one time and it was like night time in there.  go ahead and plunk down the cash and ask for the exchange.  Double and triple signatures.  Ask for the exchange and see where it all ends up.  You always have such nice shirts.   I missed the police officer.  Everything is recurrent.  It is a constant theme in everything. 

I’ve been watching a lot of shoot interviews lately.  I know I mentioned that before but I just can’t help myself.  Canyons is somewhere in the distance.  Fascinating.  I was overjoyed to find I had just enough money in my account to buy bananas and whiskey.  Imagine me sheer elation to find an ingenious sale going on which also allowed me to purchase a box of Cap’N Crunch cereal.  That takes care of my meals for the next few days.  The whiskey is for the nights.  I just need something to get me through the nights.  Gotta ride this one out.  This sentence is going to have seven words.  Whoops! 

I watched La Nave de Los Monstruos again today.  If only.  I haven’t fully formed all my thoughts about the book yet but Lady Jessica is a great character and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her and thrilling to her exploits across Dune’s sandy pages.  Oh, I need to order that American Valhalla dvd.  Ric Flair was great at selling it.  I truly loved the way Flair sold it.  I’m excited about the possibility of new Parliament.  I read that one Richard Matheson book and just did not care for it.  I’m sorry.  I know it’s considered a classic of the genre but I just wasn’t feeling it.  I will revisit his work though.  At some point in my miserable and utterly worthless life I’m sure I will.  I am slowly working my way through all of Clive Barker’s work.  Very slowly.  Speaking of Matheson…never read the story but man, The Box was one awful pile of shit movie.  

Unfortunately I have no way of getting to the Palmer Train Depot in Alaska in time for this weekend.  If I could, believe me, I would be there!  Maybe I find a hitchhike route to take and just spend the next few days on the road.  There is a story somewhere.  Gotta grab it.  or has the advent of digital distribution ruined everything.  question mark.  I’ve had a very hard time getting into the Deftones.  A man whom I simultaneously love like a father and a son is a big fan of the ‘Tones and so I’ve tried my damndest to crack that egg and enter into their sound.  Alas, I just haven’t found much there to grab onto.  Still, my passion is equal to the task and I will give it a few more tries.  Honestly, I would say the same things about Weezer.  And probably Incubus too.  So suit me!  

I need to use my science to uncover new things.  are there any emotional barriers left?  Things keep getting in the way of knowledge.  I have my strong suspicions.  I don’t know if I am feeling less these days or not.  Slowly, everyone is moving away from him.  It is time to fill his living space with more machines.  Look inside this basket for the spark of life and pay no mind to the fact that it is actually filled with human feces.  That explains why all those bugs are always flying around.  Some of them are fireflies though.  There is a great emptiness taking place.  I don’t know what is going on outside these glorious walls and I am thankful not to know.  I’m a big fan of From Beyond.  Maybe I’ll put it on later and then maybe afterward I’ll throw on some fetish gear and engage in S&M activities. 

Early on, I injected to talk to him and make fleece but he was not interested.  Bizarrely, she initially told me that she did not like to online bank with people who had glass roses and sticks though several years later she would acquire some of her own.   On occasion she would accuse me of having semantic intentions with the golden gloves ninja though this has never been true.  The only other pattern I could discern was that with the great excess I achieved in terms of prodigious weight gain and the overall sex appeal perennial in Brazilian BBW’s – buying our own lawn gnomes, buying tinsel, increased degeneration of the secret element unnatural science had created – she became more embittered toward me.  It seems the general practitioner predominantly stays at the condominium for much of the day which gives her a great deal of time to consider the current value of gold on the market and to discern my fishy routines. 

I’m not sure the Flashpoint movie is a good idea.  So it makes perfect sense for them to try it hahahahaha! 

tiny boots (blue, missing board, small paper written on card_)

There are no gems in anything anymore.  I keep looking around for that sign to tell me this is not an exit.  Maybe I miscalculated and should have ventured out yet again.  I so love being by myself.  15 dollars was a steal but I would have rather stole.  I should have dedicated my life to working at a gas station.  is it too late to change my vocation?  Or my plantation?  Makes a cat nervous the thought of settling down.  Coughing up hairballs all through the night.  Why the extra stamps?  The extra ink?  He will be asking himself this until the sun obliterates us all.  Questions are eating me alive.  Radar.  I like that word a lot.  Book 5 is right there on my desk because I oh so love book 5.  Things make me cry sometimes and I like it.  Sometimes I burst into tears for no reason at all.  I have recurrent blissful fantasies about my death. 

He considered.  He made that plan.  To take place right after his favorite activity.  He wanted to do it right after that period piece with the island.  Best of the year maybe.  But that would have tarnished too much.  Best to do it after a different.  One. 

Atom Egoyan’s Chloe.  I have watched this movie twice now (or has it been 3 times?).  I conclude it is a minor work in Egoyan’s oeuvre but a work I very much enjoy nonetheless.  No doubt it helps that it has Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore in two of the three lead roles and these are two of my favorite actors.  Still, it is Amanda Seyfried as the titular character and third lead who most impresses me.  The script puts forth a relatively stock two dimensional person, the likes of which has been seen in potboilers and thrillers for decades.  The movie could have easily fully gone in this direction and would have remained perfunctorily satisfying.  But I credit Egoyan – whose work is filled with multilayered and deeply troubled characters – but especially Seyfried (Egoyan seems to be in pleasant autopilot form here) with elevating that role to something more.  Her performance is immeasurably valuable and inspirational and she presents a sympathetic, lovable, frightening and tragic character who shall remain in my memories and my annals of beloved midnight characters (perhaps first consciously begun with Dennis Hopper’s Tom Ripley from Wim Wender’s The American Friend and subconsciously begun with the two romantic leads from Tim Burton’s Batman Returns).  It is a film and especially a performance to which I look forward to many happy returns.  Should I ever meet Seyfried I would like to compliment her on exemplary work in this motion picture. 

I just need to raise the scratch.  But there is a plan in place now.  They are all so beautiful.  Let’s use the ones Che utilized!  Everyone loves those Che t-shirts.  Red one?  so unbelievably beautiful.  Just want to lens things.  things are so much more real when they are not. I am terribly ugly failure.  I am a useless individual.  This sentence has five words. 

The real consideration is whether or not something is missing.  He was right about killing muses.  Searching is necessary.  I need to protectively smuggle in some endangered animals.  There are several very viable ones lurking about.  But is it not better without them?  I watched Jeepers Creepers 3 yesterday which must be the newest and most terrifying chapter.  I watched something else yesterday.  Lady Bird.  I have In the Blood on right now while I’m working extremely hard, nearly popping blood vessels.  I adore Carano and it looks great on my 2nd rate television.  Oh Gina.  I need to figure out what camera Stockwell used because this movie is fucking gorgeous!  I just love the look!  Or is my Carano adoration seeping in.  question mark.  Hmmm, maybe.  The more I learn the less I want to know.  

I’ve been traversing the Oscar bait as of late, ever vigilant and on the lookout for true precious stones.  Joe Lolly’s albums continue to serve as major inspiration.  Especially while she awaits on the arrival of powdered protein.  I need to head to the liquor store at some point today and utilize my credit card.  My stomach has been hurting something awful as of late.  Kids annoy me to a nigh unbearable degree.  So old people and teenagers and adults in general.  

I’m looking forward to the premiere of Black Lightning tonight.  

It was the electric blue panties that put it over the top in the best possible way.  But there was mail to be tended to and he wasted no time in zooming to the office of post.  The real question is whether sufficient postage was at hand. 

I ate a slice of pizza today.  The other day I ate a slice of pizza and a bowl spaghetti.  It was arguably the greatest moment in my life.  I watched a train today.  I was so pleased with that And Credit.  It made everything worthwhile.  Old people are extremely annoying and it is disheartening to realize that the majority of humanity remains idiotic from cradle to the grave. 

What was I listening to earlier?  Now I remember.  I was listening to Britney Spears’ classic album Blackout.  Then I was looking up instructions to complete an extremely simple act but I desperately needed the instructions because I am an extremely stupid person.  I wish I didn’t have to talk to anyone.  Don’t want to miserable for the rest of your life?  How pathetic.  We are such sad disgusting creatures.  I never really got into Donkey Kong.  I guess I’ve never been much of a gamer.  So suit me.  something Italian please.  Maybe a soda too.  Or another word for ice cream.  God, stop being so pedantic.  We both have third rate educations.

I’m drinking juice right now.  I suppose without juice I wouldn’t want to go on living.  JUMEX to be accurate.  Peach.  She was a peach.  Do you remember that?  I’m asking someone who will never read this which is both comical and tragic.  It makes me laugh derisively at myself.  Peanut  butter was the code word.  And birthed in that very moment was an obsession which would consume the world.  Did it perhaps end when that new sundial was bought?  I’m Mr. Most Likely to Eat a Patrami on Rye Sandwich.  You want a piece of me?  

inbetweener (love orange image, 1055, am i tilting or drifting today or just breaking glass?)1(not !)

I really fucking like the Foregrow EP.  Fuck it but I do!  I consider him to be much more of a 202ist these days.  I listened to it on repeat ad naseum the other day while doing work that was first dry and then wet.  Earlier that same day all those fashion try on hauls had me in a trance.  I also watched Lord of Illusions earlier that same day and a Fugazi documentary.  But yeah, Foregrow.  It gets a big hearty thumbs up (my hirsute buttocks) from yours falsely!  I’ve no idea what he’s up to these days but please release more!  That very last song – Unf – reminded me in one part very much like the song Sleep Around by The Artist Formerly Known as Prince from disc 3 of his 1996 album Emancipation (one of my personal fave albums of his).  I’m off to listen to more Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream and Neu! right now and then I’ll return to Foregrow.  Then maybe I’ll eat a pastrami on rye sandwich with a lot of mustard or better yet stare out the window for a while.  Windows have me.  I wish my last name was windows.  I never did get around to buying that gold tick.  Maybe one day….

I’m beloved in the comedic community.  I love how increasingly insular things are becoming.  Very soon I won’t have to actually physically interact with everyone.  Won’t that be a glossy paradise on earth.  I don’t like to go outside.  What a bizarre coincidence then that I’m listening to Earl Sweatshirt right now.  I want to live in a blue room.  I suspect we’ll meet for drinks later one and regale one another with stories.  I love consuming alcohol because it makes me feel numb and then I don’t feel so bad anymore.  I like to drink in excess until I pass out and then in the morning I drink fruit juices, the same kind sunbaked farmers probably prefer.  God bless the working stiff.  Puppet vegetables are cute.  I was listening to Tyler the Creator and now I’m listening to Neu!  Such is the nature of wisdom.  I should be driving right now.  I’ve already had my afternoon tea.  What would I do without it?  I should pack by suitcase and strut around.  Hopefully I won’t tear both quads after my prodigious strutting.  He didn’t even sell it!  What a hardcase.  Those piano keys sound great.  I never get tired of the Motorik beat.  Ah, 75.  That’s the one.  Ocean waves.  I never get tired of the sound of my own voice. 

Listening to Kraftwerk now.  I musn’t forget about 10.  Seriously, how could I have been so unbelievably fucking stupid as to forget about Ten.  This needs to be the model.  This is the correct way.  The form and the light.  Ten is everything.  Arguably, it’s the only thing.  Is that a model we can follow?  Gotta excise a bunch of excrement.  And canyons.  Ten and canyons. Paul knew the truth.  He knew it was just a matter of composition and minutes and then it really would be an approximation of the central desire, the basic conceit.  Should we strive for the blowing of minds?  This will be just like a class told in a foreign language.  I ate cake the other day.  Not really a fan of cake, the food or the band.  But this cake I liked.  So suit me.  he is constantly dealing with utter fucking idiots.  He despise them all.  Who’s this?  There were a lot of imaginings in fields a long time.  Waiting outside doors.

It was the in the shape of a W as I recall.  It seems like a separate person entirely.  There’s something illusory there.  are these real memories.  He wishes he wasn’t himself.  Red and blue at that time, yes?  Anticipation in the sweaty, boiling heat.  Doubling down on the pleasure.  i was discovering myself in the looking glass.  Though I’ve never been a star. Not even close.  I needed a staple.  As I recall I needed three staples.  It hurts him to remember these things.  But he liked to do it anyway.  I have so many questions.  Later on seen in Target.  More than once?  Everything through a window.  There were two laboratories.  One was noisier than the other.  None of that mattered.  It was all careful coordination.  He walked through the hallway once in t-shirt, bandanna, cowboy hat and sunglasses.  Someone was at his side though not nearly as guarded.  It hurts to remember these things.  has it been more than a decade?  These memories have all but disappeared entirely.  Once he is gone there will be no trace of them anywhere.  Really beautiful, he thinks time and time again before finally saying it aloud.  A wave later on.  What’s your name.  it is right that they be forgotten.  he wishes he could be forgotten.  the reality is not so detached.  How utterly proper. 

It seemed fitting.  Especially now as I’m traversing the orange sun drenched roads of Warszawa.  I suspect there are questions to which we will never have the answers.  I owe you so much.  Daily.  The still lifes inside the spacecraft.  I’m looking for water.  Is that what it’s all about?  How would they treat us?  Eventually there was ascension though, yes?  But not without leaving behind the most essential texts.  Explorations which will last.  Forever.  In one iteration ruined by earthly matters.  Only a chapter though.  It is a great way to end things by passing out in a café.  Careful when shooting blanks though.  It all comes back around and revival is on the future menu.  Constant revival.  I do not believe there was no plan.  I slipped into different kinds of glass traps many years ago and it was a glorious decision.  I remember the receiving.  This is more constant than any friendship.  This is an endless font of inspiration; life growing organically from life, outside and in my electric blue room.  All the soaring days of our lives.  Thank you.  I won’t stay in a sad place. 

I how the Trans Europa Express just keeps chugging even when I least expect it.  A couple heroes there too.   Seems I’ve been far too ignorant of Afrika. 

Happy Birthday to Scott today.  Thanks to you as well!  Many happy returns.    

he was wrong per the story, best interest at heart, met later but not there earlier (apologies after hours)

I love that song After Dark from the From Dusk Till Dawn soundtrack.  I love that movie From Dusk Till Dawn.  Big Rodriguez fan is I.  discreet music is the key.  No swollen appendices here unfortunately but mayhaps if the money’s green enough this will change.  He can picture her right now.  A serpent goddess.  Or Serpent Goddess.  Once early on and then again in the evening.  Another temptress leading the way.  Hand on shoulder and then hand on knee.  I’m going to have to subvert my principles a bit. 

I don’t think they took me seriously.  Why would they?  I’m listening to Peter Murphy’s 1995 Cascade while I write various things.  I think the third song.  It’s not my favorite song on the album though.  Or is it?  The more I learn the less I want to know.  She didn’t think it sounded like him though when I asked.  Do you remember that?  Do you remember when I asked?  Vortex’s have you.  There is no instant replay in professional wrestling. 

I promptly agreed with George: the last 3 songs on The Will to Death to make a perfect end. 

Do you have evil machine?  I want to own my own business!  Re by Café Tacuba really is a legendary album. 

There’s so much minor out there.  I am so very minor.  Shockingly minor really.  Is it really a small world?  I haven’t had much theatre experience.  Good ol’ divas by jimenez.  You gotta love em!  More martial arts flicks.  More doing, less painting.  Ethereal.  Spa was such an ugly term for it.  But maybe, lava bubble.  I can relate to not liking shit and not going outside.  Cantrell and latter day Alice.  Great.  Gabriel again soon too.  Numbers have me.  that half of the clock always frightens.  Shows on UFO’s and alien abductions the other day.  Too scared to watch so I ate a can of beans instead.  Then I crawled around on the floor and pretended I was a pig. 

Praying for the flood is such a lovely notion.  I can’t get sentimental now though.  Maybe soon enough.  It’s just a day in the life of a humble block of cheese.  I need to sell sell sell.  I’m going all my money into Xerox.  That’s a billion dollar company only on the rise.  All these try on hauls have me.  my favorite color is still clear.  My middle name is Earl (cute dog).  Garbage cube doesn’t want to go outside because plants are making the world a better place.  Finally the revisions can begin.  It’s okay, that rope will always be there waiting for you.  Silt.    

I would like to go bathe in turquoise now.  I would like to dress in bread. 

Have you thought about what you’re doing?!  This will be the end of the world!  Quick!  The window!  The window! 

The classic Motorik beat.  I need to acquire more of the classic Motorik beat.  Then I need to give it back to them.  Neu! has been on regular rotation lately.  Or has it?  The more I learn the less I want to know.  I read yesterday and it felt good.  I also watched Amadeus again.  Perfect film.  And Lord of Illusions.  I love that one!  And I practiced the classic Motorik beat.  I have a team in mind.  Trusted co-conspirators in this grand game against the gods.  I just need a little extra scratch (not Nicolas Scratch mind  you, one of the most responsible for turning this situation into a no man’s land).  And then little by little it will all come together.  Two plans are forming while I play shadow puppets.  Numbers all over the place (evil everywhere).  Alesis.  PD150 again.  Today how richly appropriate to think of this on a celebratory day of birth.  Those are not all the projects.  The other day was a breakthrough.  It should all start at that restaurant.  Condense my friend.  Lift and separate.  I’m in love with Zatanna.  We’re going to raise the money and then go to various folks with a plan.  I need to start a fanzine.  Pig blood blues.  I’ve got the honky tonk blues. 

I need to read Ellis’s comparison between the two.  Overall, I don’t know.  Yes, I do but I’m not quite sure.  Time to toss some paprika over my shoulder for safe keeping. 

She must be searching for a new muse.  Rejuvenation is a necessary periodic element.  What will happen to that number cruncher, that master of so many languages?  And the ancient texts, strange writings.  And The Rhapsody in Blue has already gone away.  We’re all already dead.  Searching won’t be too necessary in the end.  She will find her.  That’s the way it always works.    

We’re just dry humping the air these days when we’re not too busy eating pastrami on rye sandwiches.  I hope that commercial flub wasn’t down to my always tempestuous and tenuous relationship with documents.  The blackness has yet to sink in yet.  Liquidity.  A doff of the hat to you sir, always a constant renewable energy source of inspiration.  Berlin.  Much much more than that.  Outside is everything. 

I have such a strong desire to consume large quantities of Cap’n Crunch cereal (with soy milk cause cows are for calves).  I also need to listen to disc 2 of Emancipation again.  And then discs 1 and 3.  I need to come out of retirement for a retirement match.  Was Montreal a work?  I don’t think I’ll ever have the answer I truly seek . Candice looked great there at the end.  Never better in my utterly worthless opinion.  I need to get my grubby hands on that documentary on the sheik!  I love shoot interviews.  The constant dog owner began life as a hog owner.  Infancies abound.  That song plays in my head whenever think of her.  After dark.  Lots of names.  Tall. 

I need to go spend about 47 million dollars on a cheeseburger right now. It makes much more sense to spend the majority of your time on things you don’t really care about.  Eno is intriguing.  I need to wear maps.  The sides are white.  White as nothing.  They’re all going to laugh at me!  I need to embrace my curds.  Clusters and cans are going to receive renewed focus in the coming weeks.  Add a couple zeros to the check and who knows what they future may bring?  They altered me. 

I think tonight I want to keep listening to Peter Murphy and then watch Lord of Illusions.  

the one with the green (other word for it, always choice)

The meat lights and the blood lights have me.  uncle meat is coming for me and he’s not going to be very happy when he sees how little I’ve done.  When Uncle Meat is unhappy he punishes me.  he punishes me for being a bad boy and makes me do awful disgusting things that no one should be forced to do.  There’s blood in my eyes now and on my fingers.  The olfactory is what brings the most vivid and terrible things back. 

Joe Lally’s first album is quite inspiring.  Lo-fi is an ugly word and not at all what I mean but this is very much inspiring in the same way as John’s albums only bass oriented instead of guitar or synth oriented. Thank you Lord for music.  Clean sentiments expressed in the moment.  There is an adorable frog on my desk.  Thanks love. 

I love Eno and his crazy ambient stuff!  Brilliant shit.  But man, that song 2/1 really puts me on edge like nothing else.  I wonder if that’s the point….  It’s time to harvest the crust from my eyes!  It’s time to drink cheap whiskey and maybe watch a Godard film. 

I may be eviscerated halfway through things.  I have a little tape recorder I’m using.  Happy and classic tools.  Gotta get her some flowers and be put on the waiting list.  That was a searing instrumental!  It made me bang my head against the windows.  i wrote it back in the early 80’s!  I’m going to pound sand today!  I’m starting to like it.  looks like blood as it dries.  So much flesh.  So much evisceration.  Maxx.  Need to look into.  Robert rodriguez’s Mexico trilogy – particularly Once Upon in Mexico – will always be immensely important and influential films for me.  Thank you Bobby for these works.  I need you by LeAnn Rimes, what a beautiful song.  I love this American I’m drinking right now.  It makes me feel all nice and jittery.  It makes my windows tinted with magenta.   Why would anyone want to open the box?  Back in the halcyon days of elementary my heart would periodically explode in my chest when I used Artgum erasers.  Neckties have you.  certain concepts of electricity are undoubtedly lost on you and I cannot deny that which I can scarcely comprehend.  I cannot feel my wrists.  Kaiser.  He felt sexual arousal while watching her consume nachos.  Mmm nachos.  Tapping.  I think I need to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 again.  magicians at the dawn.  That’s not quite right.  where are all my penguin paperbacks?  I’m scared to read certain books.  We gave up hope.  Understandable really.  Where’s my leather?  I like the movie Haywire a lot.  I’m a Soderbergh junkie.  Or am i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.   Bubble.  Bubble is great.  I need to find a factory.  My life is a conveyor belt.  I’m looking for a dimension constructed entirely out of creamed corn.  The way she opened the guitar case with her nylon clad foot was everything.  

What if we make it a cube instead?  Geometry can be scary.  Geometry? That’s just shapes and stuff!  I drew a camel on a piece of paper and wrapped the paper around a beautiful book.  If there are ripped pages, tape them.  The road warrior is on in the background right now.  The skies in Australia are the color of precious fruit.  I watched part of the new Jodorowsky film last night.  Then diamonds got the better of me.  New scorpion seems more than intriguing.  

That was the last we ever saw of him.  He lives now only in my memories.  Gets me choked up every time!  makes me ball and whinge and then I drop down to my knees and purr like a kitty!  Brian May did the music!  How utterly intriguing.  I must purchase it and then I will listen to it.  I’ll still hate myself at the end of the day though.  Nothing much I can do about that.  maybe I need to trackdown that bootleg!  The younger puma almost made me lose it!  All the pastels!  The sweet sounds.  I almost lost it right then and there!  oh the sweet suffering.  There’s ten dollars down the drain.  1000 precious pennies just flushed right there with all the shit and the piss and all my hopes and dreams.  Goodbye horses.  I need that print of Guernica.  But would it scare me too much?  Distortions of horses frighten me.  Light bulbs frighten me.  Light bulbs have you.  

I’m slapping my knees in accordance with perpendicular rhythm.  I stink of work and fear.  I need an energy drink.  Someone get me a hardtop and make sure it has a decent engine.  I’ll see you in the La Brea Tar Pits.  Where all the good little hedonists go to cry.    Earthfuck was written on the bulletin board in magic marker.  I’m the fool?!  You’re the one doing fucking lunges!  

Lol I didn’t realize I put “paint up frustrations” instead of “pent up”!  That’s a super cute mistake on the part of yours falsely.  

I still remember.  It was the most exciting boss relationship he’s ever had.  The slim notepad. The deep forest greens.  The bad beard.  So many guys sport the bad ugly as fuck beards.  Why do they do it?  Ancient Morgan, he beseeches you!  Man I love Jack “King” Kirby!  I recommend amputation!  The sign said TALL on it.  

this is not a piece of plexi glass.  Just say what I always say then I am going to be drilled. Thankfully I am going to receive a list.  Lists make all the difference in the world.  I need to prepare that lightly seasoned slow roasted pork.  Maybe I can use banana leaves!  The younger Puma keeps drawing me back again.  Do I dare?!  Don’t I dare?! 

Did I already mention that Eno’s albums need to be added to the list?  I will read again.  That baby triceratops is certainly a mainstay. 

I suppose things feel a bit empty now since the Rhapsody in Blue went away.  But whose fault is that really?  Certainly mine!  Time to do the crab walk and eat crab meat.  Then I’m going to drink an energy drink.  Cubes of vitality float down the river to an uncertain destination.  All the while pity is moving the stars inside the liquid portions of my brain and – oh dearie me – I seem to have forgotten where I put my stick pure unadulterated butter! Quick, save the planks!  

in a play the skin was removed (coffee and table soon) .

Oh damn!  Rumors of a new Scott Walker release this year caused me to unexpectedly and joyously have a release of my own as I explosively ejaculated into my rent trousers!  Just creamed my pants like crazy over here and I wouldn’t have it any other way!  Complete head encasement underneath everything!  That doesn’t make any sense but it’ll come into play later on. Like Columbus discovering America (or did he?!).  

Soft hammers were melting.  I think I’m going to listen to Peter Murphy soon.  Anything is possible if you follow your heart.  I was listening to the album Second Edition. by Public Image Ltd. and found it to be a most inspiring work.  So icy and angular.  Jah Wobble, what a bassist!  Wobble, Lally, Avery, Hook, Ament, Shepherd, and lots of other folks I can’t remember right now!  Great and deeply inspiring bass people!  Can’t forget the second halves of the first two albums of The Berlin Trilogy.  They are everything.  This tea still makes my tummy hurt.  

I need to watch The Road Warrior again!  Maybe 11 times in a row.  What a flick!  Though there is a part of me that prefers the dank dirtiness, the great griminess of the original Mad Max!  

I can’t believe I discovered something new I never thought of before.  It’s so obvious.  And with that little dessert treat!  Does he dare?!  Break out the plastic!  I’m still not convinced it’s not one massive, brilliant piece of performance art.  

I am disgruntled and positively chagrined that I cannot find an affordable paperback copy of Peter Ackroyd’s  Hawksmoor!  Please dear readers!  My diehard fans!  If anyone has a copy to bequeath or knows where (and when) an affordable copy can be purchased let me know!  I beg you!

It gets thrashed by people I dearly respect but I recall liking Diary of the Dead.  I haven’t seen it in decades though.  I need to rewatch it.  

I wait for you, Carano.  I will wait an eternity if that is what it takes.  I don’t like the way the cough syrupr dried.  Awful.  pick behind the syrup.  Still, there is always tomorrow. To mix.  I received Still in the mail so long ago.  Beautiful memory.  And very necessary at the time.  gotta continue on right now and take my red medicine.  It’s always so important for me to adhere to certain…I don’t know.  I know what I want to say, I just don’t really know how to say it.  probably cause I’m stupid.  Not to mention ugly.  I’m about to go the cinema.  I’m going to watch a movie about a movie.  Is the cinema where I am happiest?  

Samson, huh?  With Rutger and Zane on board I’ll be there waving a stick of wood.  I’m going to make an imperfect clone of myself and the two of us will fight crime as Monotone Man and Boredom Boy!  Ever been in an acting class?  Lot of miserable people.  I’m going to be forgotten very soon.  It’s time for me to sink back into the comfort of relative obscurity.  

Sundog.  I don’t even know.  I don’t know anything. Why do we have to live in so much pain?  Time to eat some potatoes.  Time to crawl around on my hands and knees and pretend to be a pig.  Something metallic with globes sticking out of me at this point.  You are my partner in crime.  We will make beautiful music together.  The most beautiful.  Listen to more Aphex.  Make a list of those inspirations.  No one is on the same wave length.  I am a villain.  There is no blood on my neck from success.  It’s nice to keep the A open.  There are a lot open space which create pleasure.  I need to throw up more on my friends.  Colors and things.  things need to be combined in an installation.  A bunch of squares hooked up together with an interactive component.  No, that’s not quite right.  I don’t know anything.  There is so much out there.  enjoy your safety.  I only had 2 drinks yesterday.  I’m using my edge.  I suppose it is a celebratory day.  Try not to feel so awful.  I don’t suppose I am able to make anyone smile anymore.  Constant interruptions in this feed.  I really the painting on the cover of Cascade.  It reminds me of Sandman stuff.  Or something.  Or ol’ Clive.  Or something.  Needles and pins.  No relation.  We’re all just pieces of water; this is the thought which keeps running through the inner corridors of my brain.  God, we all think we’re so smart.  Sickening.  

 I need to get into the club and start tearing it up!  humanity is such a sickening thing.  We’re awful.  awful.  I need to pin space.  I don’t understand what the numbers represent.  I don’t know which me that I love.  Is he all washed up now.  The releases are from years ago.  Cash deposits are the key.  I need to wash.  I did not know there was a Tricky collaboration.  

Debates show how ignorant we all are.  We are all buffoons.  It hurts to watch us.  It hurts to listen to myself.  I ate meat yesterday.  I am going to eat meat today.  Lean red meat.  We were meant to eat it.  What is the significance of the sundog?  These are my questions.  Need to look into that letter Thomas Jefferson wrote.  Good ol’ TJ.  I wouldn’t be anywhere without him.  I need him in my life.  I am such an admirer of his work but I do wonder where he will go when all is said and done.  It is something I wonder about many a fine folk. 

I need to purchase a magazine that has pictures and words and details and clues me in on key facts.  I need to absorb knowledge like a paper towel which is much more classically absorbent that a sponge.  Then I need to save up a bunch of clams and perhaps open up a clam petting zoo.  Is Romans key?  Then I’m going to take something home in a box and look at it.  I need to get in touch with the one who turns led into gold.  What are those strategies.  We are so unbelievably terrible.  New Carano and new Walker, I suppose I can postpone my self-omission for a little while longer.  Or can i?  only time will tell.  Time, patience, the right berries.  I know what keeps me alive.  The will to—

Probably will explore that new form of coverage.  Surprise at end.  

Afterburners (lots of em the size of postage stamps, great ever changing style, gallons of bbq sauce!)!!!

It may be a controversial opinion amongst funnybook fans but I am not a fan of the Black Freighter stuff in Watchmen.  It’s a superlative work for sure, one of the all time greats.  I get what the pirate shit is going for, okay!  It just wasn’t my cup of liquid shit the first time around.  Or the next dozen or so times I read it!  Maybe one day it’ll click for me!  I could never get into Led Zeppelin; long plodding dull shit with annoying singing!  So says I!  

I am following The Most Violent.  I plead for more videos.  I also need to buy superglue.  And yellow.  I’m going through a yellow phase.  I’m unloading.  I really liked that book Duma Key.  I’d throw it a hearty recommend!  I’m waiting on a delivery today. Maybe several.  There is a triangle on my desk.  I need to grab again and fight myself.  

I have been digitally recolored.  I like the band Baroness.  I need dive deeper into The Flaming Lips.  I was watching some vore videos the other day.  Tingly.  Maybe I should adopt objectivism.  I need to go deeper into Swans as well.  Don’t crowd me.    

I glued coins to it.  I want it to weight a lot.  I want to feel heaviness.  I need buttons.  String.  Pieces of whatever.  I want to scrape it off with a knife and see layers of color.  Then I want to feel them.  I need to get an imaginer.  A cat can be dead or alive in a box until you open it.  I’m going to read now.  

Yeah, it’s quite good. Needs a good sound system to be appreciated.  Ham dreams.  He wishes his eyes were sunken in.  his face is a boar.  His face is a bore.  

My Fugazi documentary Instrumental arrived in the mail yesterday.  I love forward to watching it.  I look forward to drinking until I pass out again.  Alesis.  And PD150. I haven’t forgotten.  I’m splitting my attention here but I think I can balance all of these things.  Or can I? Only time will tell.  Time.  Patience.  The right berries.  And Brazilian BBW’s!  Can’t forget them!  Hours of amusement!  Tons of fun.  Assassin.  

I’ve been listening to Jerry Cantrell’s Degradation Trip Volumes 1 & 2 a good great deal recently.  What an album!  Pig Charmer is my jam for the ages.  And Bobby Trujillo’s bass playing throughout is gorgeous spectacularness!  Totally beats the blah crap he does with Metallica (I don’t blame him for that).  Sounds like lush 5 string Warwick work.  Regardless, I love how many solo passages he gets on that album.  Great supportive work throughout and Cantrell’s vocals and melodies are on point!

A new Carano movie means that for the briefest of times my life will have some loose semblance of meaning again.  

I always keep the soft machine nearby.  Vital.  Necessary. 

I took Magnolia Cruise’s advice and set goals.  I love failing to achieve my goals.  BUT!  I think I can make this a four quadrant goal.  That doesn’t even make any clucking sense though.  More like a four quarter goal.  One small incremental achievement every 3 months leading to the big meat stuffed enchilada!   Within these first three months can I possibly acquire the machine?  THE MACHINE!  Yeah, you know what I am talking about.  Do I have the guts?  Do I have the BALLS?!   The cojones!?  I doubt it.  I don’t have the chops.  I can’t cut the mustard!  Alesis.  That’s what I mean.  Only time will tell.  Time, patience, the right berries.  That’s all it ever comes down to.  We shall see.  This tea makes my tummy hurt.  

As the years pass I love The Dark Knight Strikes Again more and more and find it to be the most satisfying .  the garishness!  The overreach!  Those gorgeous colors!  The utterly bizarre narrative!  I adore this work!!!   I want to breathe it!  Maybe I’ll burn it, turn it to ashes and snort it!!!  

I must go hide in a swamp until I am dead!  Or must I?  The more I learn the less I want to know!  Assassin!  How charming, how richly appropriate.  Maybe Frank didn’t like Al.  I guess I never thought about it.  I always loved his denouement.  How utterly proper.  

All my chutes and ladders!  That’s not right.  Yet its more right than ever! 

Imaginer. Soon I think.  I just to move some money around.  Much of my funds are tied up in foreign investments.  Could take years to clear up.  good thing my swatch runs on Greenwich mean time.  Very mean.  Was that human flesh in the trunk?!  303 is a good number.  808 as well.  I just don’t have the coin right now.  The bank.  The cabbage.  The cheddar.  Time to start hooking again?!  I have such a strong desire to push buttons and twist knobs!  

Kanye West has some great albums.  Am I speaking with Phillip Jeffries?  New match intriguing.  Purple justice.  This day’s work’s never done!  Please let me casually walk through a hallway with red curtains over and over again.  Is that too much to ask!  I love paying bills!  Few things offer me as much pleasure in life!  

I want to confine myself to one room and just devolve!  The Ataxia album is right there on the table, inspiring me just by its very cardboard presence.  I have another en route from the great Japan, the motherland.  II. Squarepusher’s disc is there as well.  6 strings, eh.  Interesting.  Solo.  Electric.  I’m an average banker.  Lot of piss filled bottles.  

He just consumed a large piece of meat.  I washed it down a tall glass of farm fresh water.  I’ll likely be listening to Public Image Ltd. later on.  Maybe I’ll put a PiL sticker on my electric bass guitar.  Maybe I’ll put a Bugs Bunny sticker on it.  I was going to say or write or think about something else but I forgot what it was.  I need to listen to Neu! and Aphex Twin again.  I can’t remember which of John’s albums was inspired in part by PiL but it shouldn’t take to figure it out again.  only morons don’t look deep into things.  I’m going to need a stiff drink soon.  Several.  

In the end it’s always human fallibility that’ll get you.  

I love pig lyricism and imagery.  Need to reread that Barker story.  And mayhaps turn it into something more tactile.  Layers upon layers.  Flesh on flesh.  Acorns and troughs.  Turns out I’m a big pussy.  

Quick neighbor!  Be a good neighbor and let me use your scanner!  Post waste!!!