playing cards all worn out from magic tricks

 

Listening to some death metal while I peck out this crap.  someone at the bar last night had the audacity to compliment my haircut.  Beautiful woman wearing a red jacket was sitting next to me at some point.  She seemed like a difficult person.  conglomerate of shit now.  is that mind control Latina the secret to fixing all of this as some have wildly suggested?  Still need to get back to the lemon kid.  Stop fucking around already.  Palpitations are up and down these days.  was recently watching a clip featuring three Brazilian bbw’s.  or was i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Got my haircut yesterday morning.  I was first in line.  Two and the side finger length on top is what I requested.  Then I asked her to use that small but powerful device to blow air in my face.  I paid with cash.  Then I drove a short distance away to buy a coffee.  The gal who prepared my black iced Americano had a massive ass.  I thought about going to the bookstore afterward but decided against it.  I can’t understand a single thing this muppet is singing about.  Or can i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Need to watch a movie about a dog soon.  need to watch a failed arthouse film soon.  remembering that one book in relation to the lemon kid that his hard to find but I have located a few copies but they are always very expensive and too rich for my blood.  Chongos!  Not even correct.  Pigtails liked my haircut.  Is someone pregnant?  Lot of asshattery last night.  Lot of celebratory football rally chant bullshit.  This guy kinda sounds like when they were stuffing his mouth with the antiscream gravy/jelly and then inserted that wire thing down his throat.  Pretty sexy stuff, huh?  That brilliant breakthrough of mine, connecting it all to s&m bondage stuff.  Everything’s about getting off, right?  She said it right to detective’s face.  I took a tremendous crap this morning.  I like eating lots of tinned fish in the hopes that my breath has a constant marine inflected tang to it.  this is somewhat disquieting.  I’m already resigned to the fact that I’m going to cook pasta for dinner (meaning, I’m going to boil some water).  I drank a glass of hot chocolate recently.  that counselor was perhaps the first great love of my life.  at least in terms of mass media.  I started reading a book this morning while drinking my morning mud.  I thin the anesthesiologist might have been from Australia.  I am the dreamer and you are the dream, someone said.  holding up the rubber mask was something else.  I found a book jacket that I mistakenly thought was lost forever.  The problem is that I have been neglecting the melted screwdriver.  Need to get that colorized version of the big black and white think that I’ve read and loved (grapes).  It’s be a whole new experience.  Need to dig through some boxes and find some green lantern crap written by a wizard.  I stole several small binder clips at the end there.  so what?! 

Jim ruminates on where all the facepainters have gone.  Weight fluctuations at the local watering hole.  Mouth very dry from beer.  I hate beer.  Red over black again.  Security serves too now.  holding the bag of centipedes now but I still haven’t made my way to Tangier.  Writing went good last night, for a moment very good.  I appreciate his viewpoint but it seems outdated.  Or does it?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Maybe he should let go of the past.  Maybe I should fry up some eggs for lunch.  Palpitations.  Gotta reign it in.  as I said earlier, the weight fluctuations.  Seems very happy now.  very high and very happy.  An eagerness to leave, perhaps an eagerness to head somewhere.  Honey.  HEY HON!!!  Is this all leading somewhere.  Always moving so fast.  Always crashing.  Some dismal part of him wondering if a relapse will be in order at some point.  Benign evil.  HEY HON!!!  There’s a can of pickled beets in the kitchen with my name on it.  yesterday I ordered a copy of the Superman Adventures Compendium One from amazon via my amazon prime account.  I had a couple hundred dollars of credit on there due to business dealings with a cable company.  The item arrived today and I’ve read the first 80 or so pages it.  I am very much enjoying it so far.  It was also a delight to see Rick Burchett’s pencils with Terry Austin’s inks.  Such a clean energetic style that I first encountered and loved roughly 25 years ago on some Batman comics.  I’m listening to some new metal music while I write this and I can’t tell if I like it or not.  For dinner I ate a can of tuna fish with some mayonnaise and then I at an apple afterward.  I washed it wall down with a tall glass of room temperature tap water (my favorite).  I’m wondering if I should start to stress about money soon.  muscle mommies have me.  so much product coming out that I don’t have money for.  That close up of her fat ass in black lace panties really did it for me.  I was at a bar last night throwing back a few cold ones when I discovered another omnibus I need to buy! Yay! Oh what a sad empty life I lead.  I was thinking about something earlier but I forgot what it was.  chest feels weird.  Guess I should go and drink some wine.  Then I’m gonna cash in my retirement!  I guess this music is okay.  But do I like it?!  feeling so weak now.  I should make an appointment soon.  was reminded the other day of how much I love Prince and how much his music has meant to me over the years and how much it continues to mean to me.  every morning I imagine that muscle goddess choking me out and it feels so comfortable.  Especially I took a few melatonin pills the night before. 

always took umbrage at the names, drunk flunked out of school, unrelated HEY HON!

 

I’m currently cooking pasta . and by that I mean the stove is heating up and when the water reaches a boil I’m going to drop some premade dry pasta into it.  I need to find that 17 minute Warrior promo and turn it into my manifesto and/or ideology and/or philosophy by which I live my life.  I have a crisp twenty dollar bill in my breast pocket . I forgot it was there.  I finished reading a novel today.  Had a brief discussion with someone who is wasting their life and the subject of math systems came up.  People use words so carelessly.  Or do they?! The more I learn the less I want to know.  I’m reminded of a hilarious mystery novel I read a few years back.  pulp.  May want to reread that novel at some point in my miserable worthless life.  new match out! Barefoot, pantyhose, low blow.  But alas, I’m Ricky Insolvency, reporting from the gutters, bringing you true journalism (the type Abel can trust) and I do not have the scratch to partake in one of my favorite indulgences.  Is this the worst year of my life?  hard to say.  They’ve all been pretty bad.  I’m waiting on a parcel to arrive today.  I touched upon this in yesterday’s post.  I’m about to have lunch but I’m also wondering what I’m going to have for dinner!  Anti-life justifies my hate.  I recently ate pasta.  I washed it down with a tall glass of room temperature tap water (my personal favorite).  I’ve been thinking about triangles a lot less these days but I’m sure that will change at some point.  It all always comes back around on itself.  I inevitably resort to my own life.  thinking about that stewardess who generously sells her used pantyhose and I damn myself for being underwater and not having the scratch when I so desperately need it.  but that’s just the insolvent life and I wouldn’t have it any other way (wouldn’t have it any other way).  Cover is like painted letters over a photo backdrop of mountains.  I’ve had it for roughly twenty years now.  took a while to hit me.  I remember walking through the hallway and snapping my fingers.  then writing a terrible story in the art room.  Took me forever to find things worth writing about.  I’m still failing! Like always! and like never before!  Would like to order a custom but I just don’t have the scratch.  I’ll probably be drinking in a couple hours.  Need to take a good judicious crap soon!  I get electrocuted in a lot of my fantasies.  One of my favorite things in life is when pages are intentionally left blank.  Another one of my favorite things in life is when people threaten to take their banking elsewhere.  I also really love muscle mommies and regularly fantasize about them strangling and in general cutting off my oxygen supply in all sorts of imaginative ways.  I’m going to write a story about a dog.  It’s going to be based on a true story.  Someone should write a biography of a biographer.  I like when people ask me if I have any matches.  I never do.  I regularly fantasize about being asked if I have any matches.  In the fantasy I always say I don’t and this is true.  But the twist comes from the fact that I do have a lighter in my pocket but they never think to ask me if I have a lighter and so it becomes this little private victory and in the fantasy I smile about this and everyone just goes on about their business.  I remember once lighting a cigarette for a woman and eventually I was kissing this woman’s leather boots.  Oh those were the days.  Or were they?!  The more I learn the less I want to know.  The bar I’m going to later today has real ugly ass bartenders.  There’s a purity to the ugly ass bartender.  Numbers.  Reading these spinoffs has helped flesh things out.  Love Grant.  Was thinking about a Brazilian bbw sitting on my face earlier but I didn’t dwell on the subject.  I just moved on with my life.  I welcome an epistemic collapse.  I only lament that I don’t have the ability to bring one about myself.  Most people are not really worth talking to.  I need an updated reading list.  I need various updated reading lists in fact.  There are a great many years of my life that don’t make any sense and it feels like those memories belong to an entirely different person.  I know what I need to read to restore my sense of self.  Of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper.  JUST SHUT UP!!!  There are people in my life that I wish would just evaporate but that doesn’t seem to be a possibility.  It is so cruel that we thrust into this world without being asked if it’s what we want and then we are stuck with certain people.  You are going to be so sorry one day for the way you treated us.  Remember the chocolate donut!  People are awful.  People are just the absolute worst.  Man I hate people.  Oh no, chest feeling strange again.  What could this mean?  Is all hope lost?  Donut in the sky.  At a drive through the other day a woman complimented my coat.  As the match progressed they gradually stripped one another of several articles of clothing, revealing glorious hosiery underneath.  It’s sometimes annoying when want to talk to me and want to tell me about their pathetic lives and ask my for worthless opinion on things and they’re too goddamn stupid to see that I don’t like them and don’t care about them and wish they would just leave me alone.  The world of comedy seems very sad and insular.  Maybe I just see everything as sad and insular because I’m a very sad, angry and hateful person. 

i look old

 

Ricky Insolvency here, more underwater than ever but also more committed than ever to bringing you true journalism.  Straight from the gutters.  As he was repeatedly tugging at the collar of his crew neck plain white t he realized he would need to kick very soon.  I threw back what was left of last night’s wine and started to yawn.  Been too skittish lately.  Was watching a latin bbw sitting on a lavish dinner, all the courses including the dessert.  I’m listening to one of Jery Cantrell’s solo albums as I write this crap.  or am i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Gonna cook up some red meat soon.  and have a wet shave a little later on.  My initial impressions is that he is something of an asshole.  but then she seemed so happy with the announcement that they’re moving in together that I quashed those initial impressions so I could share in her happiness.  Though on a practical I think it’s too damn soon.  I think people should date for at least a year before moving in together.  Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I only got this far and needed to take a break.  My circle is growing smaller and smaller.  Mental note to head down to the loan place to obtain a payday loan.  Then I can hit the bar afterward!  Gotta check if my red meat has unthawed.  I’m feeling puckish.  I was drinking scotch neat last night which explains the hazy cozy feeling I have now.  a beautiful tatted up woman was dressed all in black.  She had a delightful laugh.  Some fat bastard was sitting next to me and playing a phone game. I eventually stumbled out there as Saturday night turned to Sunday morning and ambled back to my posh flat.  There’s a bunch of fish flying through my bedroom.  I need to get some coffee in me to fight off the cozy.  I opened up windows to go some air flowing through this place.  Gotta pay a credit card today. The year’s going by quick.  I’m still a worthless failure.  Hard to believe that will ever change.  I love when it rains.  Need to wash my face.  I just took a tremendous crap! the rich aromas are wafting through the corridors of my posh flat, lingering in the air like a haunting refrain.  Gotta get back to the lemon kid soon.  what matters if how you walk through it.  need to remember that.  gotta read more of that book with the green cover.  I have the rogue cut somewhere.  Was sitting on my couch earlier today reflecting on my shit writing when I had an epiphany: I am a tremendously boring person who leads an incredibly boring life.  and I should endeavor to craft a big work of the written word and make it as boring as possible.  There is a purity and nobility to boring works.  I recently ate a slice of cheese.  Ate a can of pickled beets earlier. I was thinking about that match from a couple years ago between La Jarochita and Reina Isis.  Jarochita was just letting it all hang out.  That was a great match.  I believe it was the one were Isis lost her mask. Luchadoras have me.  having trouble getting my mojo back.  put on something albini produced that I haven’t heard before.  Been thinking about the remains of my life.  I’ll probably be crying while standing on the back of a train one day.  I love when luchadoras where pantyhose.  I was watching a wrestling clip earlier that I paid for.  It featured a reverse headscissor.  She was wearing pantyhose.  And  I just lost it.  I really just fucking lost it.   cobwebs. There’s dust inside my head like giants in the trees.  Saw a pretty blue bass guitar the other day.  saw myself through someone else’s eyes a week or two ago and the experience was shocking and deeply revelatory.  I think afterward I went home and drank some more.  Not quite sure what the fuck is going on.  Something is corrupted but I can’t figure out what.  I’ve been reading a big book lately.  I’ve read some comics recently.  The early early golden age Superman stories are preferable to the early early golden age Batman stories.  Need to get more comprehensive.  I’m resorting to my own life again.  Need to read more gross things.  that always makes me feel better.  I keep checking and checking but she hasn’t listed any new used pantyhose lots for sale lately.  Life is so sad. I recently bought a small box of light bulbs for roughly eleven dollars American.  I replaced a lightbulb in a lamp but I ultimately did not like the type of light the new bulb produced (it was too white) but I  didn’t do anything about it because I’m a spineless bastard.  They’re talking about this new thing that just came out like it’s a big failure and that just makes me want to see it.  I’m so depressed.  Someone made a point the other day about The Berlin Trilogy and I had never heard that point before and it totally blew my mind.  Been watching a lot of femdom clips lately.  Would love to be choked out by a muscular woman.  Or would i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.   Grow up, they’re not your family!  They don’t love you down there.  they hate you, can’t you understand that.  they hate everyone.  It’s only logical.  I’m kind of hungry but I’m too fat to eat.  Gotta admit that francis looks really cool in that cool metallic blue and those shades but you shouldn’t aspire to the life of a psychotic serial killer.  Or should you?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Rewatch.  This feels okay.  was watching a giantess clip during a recent explosion (in my rent trousers).  It featured black lace panties.  I have a shredder and sometimes I like to shred paper.  I bought an Italian cookbook recently.  i went to a bookstore today but they didn’t have what I was looking for despite their website saying they had one in stock so I walked back to my car and felt like shit and like a complete fucking loser failure and then I ordered a copy from amazon.com.  I plugged in my toaster for the first time in a long time a few days and I’ve prepared and eaten toast every day since.  But I’m almost out of bread.  I like watching clips where women step on or sit on food.  I feel bad a lot.  As a kid I always liked the really big boxes of crayons.  I’m going to go to the grocery store tomorrow and buy some things.