And then it occurred to me right when I was rocking out to
Edgar Froese’s classic song NGC 891: I am an utter shit writer and I will never
amount to anything. Because I don’t have
anything interesting to say and even if I did I do not have an interesting way
to say it. I lack a proper
aesthetic. I also ate a boiled egg this morning
and sat on my couch and felt peaceful but that peace was not meant to
last. Oh well, it’s good to just accept your
limitations. Or is it?! the more I learn the less I want to
know. Drank some wine at a bar last
night. Talked the bartender about a
poetry book she loved. Talked a little
about golden age Superman, who I love. Pretty
sure nobody there likes me. but that’s
oaky. It’s good to just accept your
limitations. After the bar I came home, drank
beer and listened to music, eventually falling asleep on the floor. Eating carpet. I was going to do something important today
but I may end up putting it off. man I really
am such a worthless fucking individual. I
gotta go take a tremendous crap! that’s the
only thing I could possibly do that could have any true value. No idea who burned me this CD I just
found. Was thinking about some mistakes I
made this morning after listening to my favorite podcast. Listened to some new wave music earlier. I love new wave. Need to buy a book later. Could be today, could be tomorrow. I don’t think people at the bookstore like me
very much either. That’s okay. it’s good
to just accept your limitations. Just realized
that over the past few days I’ve been confusing the ringu movies with the one
missed call movies. What a jackass. What an asshat. What a horse’s ass. Really liked that game show or talk show or whatever
it was scene from the first one missed call movie. need to stand before The Dog. The fields are full of hypnotists. Not without the master sequence caps. was remembering a smile earlier and trying to
connect it with a laugh. No, not
exactly. Was watching a movie about
lushes earlier. Had a brief moment today
when the words were coming to me so of course I killed it. didn’t leave home at all today. For dinner I had
a ham sandwich. It hit me the parallel much
ado to the insurrection. Need to find
that old disc. Loveliness all
around. Was texting an old friend during
the morning hours over coffee and wishing my life could be as such. Saw an album cover of painted cherries the other
day and loved it. what a great thing, to
paint some lovely cherries. No one there
last night, no smile I couldn’t match. Left
feeling all fuzzy again. Waiting on a
packet to arrive. I loved you a long
time ago. Put that in quotations. Wonder to which lives I’ve contributed the
most ruin. There is a nice breeze coming
in through the windows. Completion is not
near but a sense of it is. Morrison’s
stuff is wonderful unbridled creativity.
So many ideas. The reveal of the
new gods. Seven. Someone was sneaking hugs. Going for extra hugs. all seemed fine. Pheromone was the word used. Full of jealousy and desire. Black cover.
On the wrist and in the hair. Sprung
for a new bottle, very expensive bottle, usually don’t do that. amazing ass.
Got the wing special. No celebration
in self control. Three goodbyes, three hugs. hazy in the chest. Not too much of the aforementioned
front. Think that last bit was the time I
brought home chicken wings and ate them in front of my television. Your entire life passes you by when you don’t
pay attention. Gotta get back to
water. No way I’ll have the scratch or
the timing for that deluxe thing coming up.
What else? Man, I was waiting a
long time for my beer. I can take a hint! I don’t need a house to fall on me! CRASH!
Diamond for sale! He came up out
of the water covered in gold bits. Next evening
similarly uneventful. I showed up to the
thing reeking of Argentine shrimp as is my wont. Stared a bit at the tattoo. hair all piggish again. Can’t keep track anymore of who is going to
be when. As long as I’m kicking I should
keep kicking. Can’t tell if I’m becoming
healthier or not. Absolute Wonder Woman
is absolutely wonderful so far and my favorite of the Absolute titles (but I have
not read them all). Volume 2 in
hardcover is set to arrive via mail tomorrow.
Or is it?! the more I learn the
less I want to know. I watched a movie
with a dear friend exactly 19 years ago today.
It’s a movie I currently have on blu ray. I’ve had it for many years. She ate a lot of ice cream and I think donuts
for the part. I think I read that in a
magazine that has not been in print for at least a decade. Medicine lately while I’m driving around
though I don’t drive many places these days.
I’m listening to music right now.
it’s the soundtrack to a movie that I purchased as a used dvd copy from
a record store in a small town that is now closed (the store, not the town). I love that town. I’ve enjoyed many excellent meals there. I could even see myself living in that shitty
little town if I had any guts at all.
This is what you do? it’s amazing
how almost all encounters I have with people are incredibly shallow and
pointless. I drank a glass of room
temperature tap water recently (my favorite).
Want to really feel the length of the books I’m currently reading. Haven’t decided yet if I’m going to have a
wet shave today.
No comments:
Post a Comment