Time and again I tell myself…. I was feeling someone’s leather jacket last
night. Exchanging false words of
love. Some asshole was leaning over a
stool because he was too scared and insecure to just sit the fuck down. he had bad skin and a terrible haircut. Lot of ugly people were out and about last
night and I count myself as among that list.
Then there was some tall woman
showing off some glorious cellulite laden thunder thighs. At some point I realized I was sitting next
to someone that I see on a weekly basis and years ago I sought to buy this
person a drink. My throat is somewhat
sore today. Big c? I was strangling myself yesterday afternoon
while beating off and watching some Brazilian bbw’s make out. Or was i?
the more I learn the less I want to know. Really enjoying some funnybooks these days. have an appointment tomorrow that I can’t
miss. Maybe I’ll go jogging in a
bit. I like the novel I’m currently
reading. I like novels. Was hilarious the other day when I realized a
contemporary of mine does not even know what a novel is. What has happened to people? Why are we not smart anymore? maybe I’ll see The Snow Queen soon. I like romantic films. I drank past my limit last night. I could tell the bartender was concerned when
she generously offered me a glass of water.
Her eyes were full of worry! She probably
thought I was going to blow chunks all over the damn bar and then promptly shit
my pants! that would have been a perfect
way to cap off the evening. I’m such a
loser. I looked in the mirror while I was
there and was astonished to find how horrible I look these days. I am one ugly bastard. Some hot white chick parading around with her
lovely fat ass absolutely crammed into some shorts the color of
butterscotch. End of the night
perfume. These things are hotter in the remembrances. at the time the liquor was doing it’s job and
all I really felt was a soggy sense of relaxation with a dull undercurrent of
self disgust. Except for those few precious
moments with the leather jacket and the false words of love. Erasure.
I’m sniffing boiled rice again. But
I don’t think I’ll be sitting down on a turned on waffle iron today. At least not until I see The Snow Queen which
might not even happen today. Too much to
do and so little time. I don’t like
people. I don’t like myself. I was blamed recently for breaking a
bed. Or was I? the more I learn the less
I want to know. I came dangerously close
the other day to reacquainting myself with someone who is not healthy for
me. but thankfully cooler heads
prevailed and I did not. I just have a
very strong craving for humiliation. And
used hosiery. I also have a very strong
craving for used hosiery. At the turn
now.
When will enough shame be enough? Listening to some pirate shit. Lot of very good black and white pages
lately. I drank in excess several days
ago. It was a shameful occurrence. Need to migrate. Need to move over. Need to transfer. I don’t find this stuff amusing anymore. gonna boil some rice soon. or am I?!
the more l learn the less I want to know. Not much left, is there? I am now a well hated individual. Deservedly so. I drank a beer last night at a local
bar. when I was finished with the beer I
left a federal reserve note under the empty glass as means of payments. Goods and/or services of real value exchanged
for currency plain is the essence of commerce.
Communist pig. If I saw me
somewhere out in public I would barely be able to hide my disdain. Not many good things to remember
anymore. too much evidence has been
lost. I ate a shrimp taco yesterday and
then had a spirited discussion with someone about low income housing. Earlier that same day I ate a slice of pepperoni
pizza and the young lady who tender to my order had stunning communication skills
and business savvy. I wanted to let her
know that I full believe she will have great success at whatever she puts her
mind to in this life but I said nothing because I wasn’t sure if it would be
offputting to hear that from a stranger.
So instead I took a seat and ate the slice. It was very good. It was so good I was tempted to go back and order
another slice but I knew that would be sinful since my hunger had been satisfied
by the first slice. So I simply left the
establishment. loving Olivia’s new
song. I bought a new shirt the other
day. in fact I bought two. I look like dogshit in both of them. I am an ugly person. no clothes look good on me because I have a
terrible body. It sucks. I was at a place recently with a mirror and
it was painful to have to keep seeing myself.
I don’t like when people say hi to me.
I don’t like when people ask me about my day. I ate a turkey sandwich earlier today. It was a nice and bland as all the best
turkey sandwiches are. I’ve chosen not
to shave today even though I love shaving.
I need to reschedule an obligation that was planned for tomorrow. I love rescheduling things. at some point I need to go to a store and buy
some cheap wine. Maybe I’ll buy some
jerked meat too. remember that time we
went out to that trendy new restaurant and you wore a powdered blue suit and we
ate raw meat with a raw egg on top of it?
Then I did something very gallant!
memories used to mean something but I don’t care about a lot of people
or things anymore and so those memories don’t mean anything anymore. that’s funny!
