Blue hair at the dive bar last night. Mark walks up and offers to buy a
shooter. Flashbacks to the factory but I
was never at the factory. In another
life I was doing blow at a disco club and looking on with resentment at a gorgeous
women in a slinky red dress and her boyfriend.
I was at some seedy club later on full of self loathing, true in any
life. Good though, already had a small pitcher
of beer. Should have gone the pill
route. Pills are so easy. Pills and booze. I’m good for now. Nice smile.
Someone else with a great ass celebrating. Terrific ass.
Not like blue though. And now, we
are on the eve of the release of John Schneider’s To Die For. The trailer is everything to me. Do I dare pay for the pre-order? Would my money be better spent on To Die For
or Moment of Contact? He was looking for
a little bit of salvation last night. No,
not true. Always obfuscating. Man I feel
like crapola due to all the booze and zzzquil.
Almost ralphed last night but I stayed classy. Classy like a fox watching that new Dahmer miniseries. As a society we love exploitation. Or do we?
The more I learn the less I want to know. Nothing else remains beside the encounter. Helpful thread later on so I can properly understand
why I’m shit. I ate a decent amount of
meat yesterday. Who is the blonde Hispanic
actress in John Schneider’s To Die For? I
need more coffee and I need to take a crap.
Time to break out my copy of Nights Into Dreams for the Sega Saturn including that special analog
controller. Only then will I be properly
prepared to watch John Schneider’s To Die For.
I cruised into working blasting a Human League album and nursing a scratchy
throat and zzzquil hangover. They were
encrusted in the earth! Encrusted is one
of my favorite words. Beautiful Brazilian
babe in Leotard and leggings, reverse head scissoring a companera and letting
several big ones rip right in her face. So
glorious. I just totally fucking lost
it. Want to eat a pizza with a lot of
fucking olives. I ate a couple egg rolls
yesterday and some soup. Or did i?! The more I learn the less I want to
know. It was during those early hours at
a hotel where I began to receive communications from outside
intelligences. I like when the words
magic is made plural. Snorkel! I’m drinking some carbonated water while I peck
out this garbage. Need to invest once
more in soft machine. If only I were a
true junky. True sailing is dead. But all I’m really doing is counting down the
remaining minutes in my worthless life until Schneider’s To Die For is up on Vimeo. Maybe I’ll eat boneless chicken wings later
on. But then again maybe I won’t. who really gives a flying fuck?! I was stabbing some prosthetic bricks shortly
after yelling this. That’s right, then
there a gorgeous Latina in an alleged asmr video rubbing her hosiery clad feet
all over the microphone and I lost it. I
just really utterly fucking lost it! i
was revising some management agreements and eating soup and wondering how my
life had taken such a dark turn. Gotta get
me outta here! HA HA I’M
UNDERGROUND!!! Beautiful internet
psychologist did not allow any space for MY answer which is just that I would feel
sweet relief that I was about to be removed from this earthly equation. Why am I always so fucking marginalized?! Love feels awful. I don’t like love. Now her credentials are in question!!! My wig is slipping as I rant and rave about
several conspiracy theories. Maybe I should
just go home and put on a funny hat, do whatever it is that idiots do! That voice again, lovely. Schneider is saving cinema from itself. If only it had Durance in hot pants like in
the good ol’ days. If only I weren’t
such a worthless fucking loser. Fuck,
finally!!! Breen. I’d forgotten. “my God, I’d forgotten.” Always loved Neill’s delivery of that line in
the great B movie JPIII. I love Neill. And I love JPIII. Or do i?!
the more I learn the less I want to know. I need to get in touch with a garage door company. Is there anything more noble in life than a
sturdy garage door? Need to read more underground
comics. Need to get deeper into the self
loathing. I just ate soup regurgitated
from the mouth of a homeless man. Now I’m
eating licorice. I’m still drinking
carbonated water. A meeting just left me
a little corpse inside. Always bullshitting
around. You are literally insane. I keep checking my emails but it’s all
bullshit. Maybe I should look up some
plus size lingerie hauls to make me feel better. Or maybe I should pack extra chunky Jif deep into
the crack of my ass. God I need to brush
my teeth. Looking forward to ellis’s new
book in the new year. I’ll probably read
during an eleven day bender. I was
feeling very. There is no system more
full proof than a dry erase board. I was
feeling sad last night so I drove to a local dive bar and drank in excess and
then I came home and did the same while watching a comfort film cause I’m pathetic
and needed one. Then I drank zzzquil and
passed out on the floor. And such is the
nature of wisdom! Just counting down the
days until I get a vacation. Though not
the type of vacation you may be thinking of tee hee. If only I could return to that shang ri la. Out in the desert. I could never make the drive again. I don’t have the BALLS. Just like that arrangement for the backyard
that caused so much consternation. He didn’t
have the BALLS!
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