Crying now
because of only friends but not in the way that you’re thinking of. Recently ate some boiled chicken and pickled
beets. Or did i?! the more I learn the
less I want to know. Was recently
driving the hot steamy streets listening to the
same song over and over again. Racy
thoughts were racing through my red hot cock whilst I put pedal to the
metal! Blue jean. I was recently at a place where hats were
prominently featured. There was some
makeup that matched the same colors as a flag.
And so I began to imbibe. Desire itself
is a very pleasant feeling. Don’t wish
to discuss the feeling of desire consummated.
Don’t wish to discuss things evaporating into the air. At the same time someone was having one big
bastard of a party celebrating a youngster’s first communion. Makes sense, a kiddo eats and drinks the body
and blood of Christ for the first time – fully understanding the implications
of such – and thusly a big group of bloated adults and smelly kids should
celebrate by hitting a pinata, stuffing their fat ugly faces and getting sloshed!
What a beautiful celebration! Humanity is
such a fucking joke. But I think we were
talking about my fiery lust! Oh yes, please
crush my face until I pass out with your fat gorgeous dumper! That’s one of the classiest expressions of
desire I’ve been able to muster in my heretofore utterly miserable and worthless
life. luck of the draw really. There were a lot of ducks outside. First come, first serve. If only alcohol didn’t get me intoxicated I could
have stayed all night. Yes, yes, I see
it, moonlight and such. I’m obfuscating. Everything is too buried due to lack of
practice. Handshakes linger. If I could just. But I can’t even speak romantically. Because it would just disappear. None of this is real. Such is the struggle. As written in song it is so beautiful. But in actuality…. It would just simply cease to be. Then I watched a recording that was improvised
on the spot. And immediately I imagined
being electrocuted while I begged for forgiveness and everything felt right. Then things came down to some kind of ball as
they inevitably do. I can’t imagine beyond
that for some reason. I was just hitting
myself in a tender area but I drank too much and it did not elicit very much
pain unfortunately. Thinking of a comfort
film now and being thrown off a balcony.
This could be your lucky day.
yes, what I’m thinking of is intimate.
And comfort. sweet comfort. which is the only way maybe I can think of
it. and then there is the other side of
things. blue jean. But things would not cross properly and there
would only be disappointment. So best to
not even. But at the time I was watching
a knot being tied, I was watching a knot being tied and I believe I was being
watched watching the knot tying and there was salt on my fingertips and everything
in life was so wonderful. Full. Leaning.
There was a plaid pattern filling everything. And blackness. Passed the turn now. at some point I was going to eat catfish but
then I decided against it due to the…. Of course I need to make plans. This cannot continue as such. He just has to pull a disappearing act. Of course, I think as my head goes light, how
utterly proper. it’s been done
before. My life is a sequence of meaningless
repetition. I just never learn. I do note that this world is full of
incredibly lonely people. No one should
be looking at me as a source of comfort, love or with desire. Desperation makes fools of us all. I’m reminded of one of my all time favorite
albums, likely top 5, maybe sometimes top 2.
There are a bunch of squared images on the cover. Horses.
Horses. In some ways I’m just
being an ass by discounting. Not properly
thinking through the individual experience.
And then I’m back again, wanting to taste liquor. Wanting to find someone on that dance
floor. There is a craving somewhere for
an embrace. With a lovely rhythm in the
background. but after that there is
nothing. It wasn’t quite chance. But it could have been any other day. he just has to disappear. This cannot go on. Was reminded of how the other day I was
accused of not paying for a beer! The audacity
of it all! The mendacity! The way the word miracle is said. I understand this. I don’t want to but I understand this. Gone on for far too long. Through a couple different equally lovely
cycles of blissful unemployment. There are
no conclusions to be drawn because the answers are already crystal clear. Black then blue jean then black again. Watching as a knot is being tied. I do not have much. Crumbs.
I was recently driving around with my window rolled down. perhaps wondering what it would be like to be
driving with the window rolled down and with company. But that trail always leads to nothing. I can enjoy these flimsy stages. So much biology. I don’t deny it. I just realize that there is nothing deep
about it at all. Of course it feels
good. We would all go extinct if it didn’t.
but everything that follows. I can’t. and I don’t find it to be terribly unique or
enjoyable. Or do i? the more I learn the less I want to
know. Such a magical. Not my words. But probably a couple dozen
times by now. and what I’m really
cursing myself for in this moment is somehow not taking proper notice of the
footwear! Snow Queen soon at some point
. much easier to handle. Nothing. Chances all evaporated. But yes, please make the disappearing act OR
yes, please let there be some type of status change. That would be the most deliriously perfect outcome. That would be ideal . that would be truly
wonderful. Shouldn’t be hard. throw a rock.
I am such a piece of shit. Someone
was talking to me about eating some imitation crab. It was everything and it was nothing. Isn’t that the entire damn point!? Been reading phone books lately and loving
it! I also really love a tremendous ass!
