waiting on the...with the...and...jackal

Time travel and sexy women and fetish.  I feel so far away right now.  I realize all these disparate elements do not combine to form anything.  The implicate order of things.  am I just a minor character?  I’m considering becoming a vegetarian.  Lots of nostalgia lately. Ah, the days of harris and purgatory.  Purgatori is more like it.  He must search through old cardboard for some colored foil!  That is the main goal of life! 

I would say only one out of every 100 good programmers are good enough to program for the Sega Saturn.

Yes, dreams do come true!  In just a few days it’ll be there hahaha.  Depravity controls all.  Research has pierced all extremes of my sex!  Of course, The Jackal, and that classic huntress and true purple tinged justice.  And the secret sauce, the ultimate ingredient which shares the name of a premiere Columbiana disc.  Oh sweet virtuous patience.  Oh the sweet suffering! 

I’m reading braille again. These feels good and wrong.  I need to go for a late night run here soon.  What lovely shoes.  Please don’t cry.  I so often wish everyone would leave me alone.  Just as the psycho pirate remembers all those worlds that had to die.  I am a king of nothing and offer only meaningless help. 

It was an erotic masterpiece of sin.  And already the reprogramming begins.  Never enough anymore.  Highly positioned, you see.  I’ve got to get away to get away to get away. 

This is me and then all at once this is me with my brains splattered against the wall.  This is me alive and then all at once this is me dead and there is something cosmic and frightening about it all.  Still, can anyone help introducing a camp element into the mix?  Here’s to a lousy life!  No, in this instance I am stabbed in both eyes.  I am crying now.  I was crying and screaming earlier while driving.  Cruise control didn’t work properly.  Is that why I was crying.  I really doubled down on exquisite sin this week.  I need another drink.  And then earlier in the week and so early in the morning I witnessed a bloody red sun of sin rising and I could think of nothing better to do but rejoice and indulge in an embrace that was so terrible and so sweet.  And maybe later on I’ll swallow a bottle of sleeping pills with a glass of wine and everything will be right.  There is a grand and terrifying cosmic game taking place. 

I am pleased that a new Alice in Chains album is coming out tomorrow.  I think I will acquire this album and then listen to it.  Though right now I’m listening to Lana Del Rey.  Still, I cannot forget these auspicious origins along the shoreline with the red devil in tow only now I am providing great assistance and oh yes, on at least ten occasions I wondered why the universe hates me so.  My hands and everything else are ceasing to function.  Please don’t let anyone else be hurt though.  I will hate myself until the end of time.  I watched First Reformed the other day and loved it.  Thanks Paul.  I had to scour 5 stores and search through 9 boxes but I found it. 

All that café and then all that booze really makes me feel bad.  I look down and see I’ve been neglecting a great book and then I feel sad.  I feel sad all the time now.  Seems its just the way I’m meant to feel.  The jackal who isn’t the jackal was present today, glorious as ever.  And was someone happy to see me?  I feel so bad.  Maybe we’ll meet again one day down south and on the coast.  I don’t know anything.  Authorities have not ruled out the possibility of drug use.  Live wires are connected to me everywhere.  I see things in a blue light now.  This bucked has flies swarming around it.  No doubt inside contains that gift I must give.  I’ve been thinking a lot about animals lately and wondering if I can make any sort of change.  I should change my name. 

Sorry, I just gotta take a moment to praise the plastics industry.  America is built on plastics. 

I don’t know which I love more between Jurassic Park 3 and Superman 3.  There are both amongst my most favorite part 3’s.  I’ve watched them multiple times this week.  I will love them always.  Always and never.  Or would I pick Return of the Living Dead 3.  I love that one too. I own them all on blu ray disc. 

Ah, that old Time song 777-9311.  It seems richly appropriate to bring that song up at this point in time.  quite a bassline.  Quite a funky album.  The keyboard is on my lap.  The keyboard is in my lap.  I still need to start with that silver box.  Alas, I will have to wait at least 5 days.  But that’s okay in a sense.  Still, the waiting is the hardest part.  Man, I need the accumulation of paper. 

But he’s also waiting on something else, isn’t he?!  Something that was once seafoam and may be purple when it resurfaces.  And something that was blue and may be black in its rich accompaniment.  I really need to buckle down and just erase it all though that’s completely unrelated to the previous subject. 

I typically don’t get too jazzed about da remakes but I am excited for this new vision of Suspiria!  I loved the filmmaker’s last movie.  Loved.  The trailer has me intrigued.  I’m a physically large fan of the original (and own 9 copies of it).  I also quite like the other two in the trilogy though it seems this new film incorporates elements of those as well which could explain the potentially damning runtime.  I think I’ll watch the original tonight while rubbing butter on my face.

 

I’m going to wash several pairs of pants and then iron them.  Then I need to catch up on something. 

even mil (the homespun creation inside the sole and forced into so many all the while affection and icy one...and...caps?!)

Must investigate Gnosticism.  I’m going to sell my face for secret knowledge! 

I know which Kurt Vonnegut book I’m going to read next but I’m not sure if the next book I read will be by Kurt Vonnegut. 

She did not hear him clearly at first and so later on she asked him if he was sick to which he replied no.

I can’t remember what time I fell asleep last night. 

The comedian angle could work.  I’ve seen it work before. 

And then right alongside the queen was one who still remains nameless; the sin imprinted on the hand.  A perfect duo mayhaps sharing a loving romance while inflicting bountiful torture. 

It is the rabbit out of the hat; something out of nothing.  Oh no, not the rabbit again; I dropped the ball and now I hate myself so much. 

The issue is whether such a creation can ever truly be explained. 

There were pleasantries and an odd nervous energy between them; odd because it was feelings of infatuated elation from one and cautious red flag apprehension by the other. 

Burroughs in paris!  Bowie in Berlin! 

The older I get the more I prefer The Dark Knight Strikes Again to The Dark Knight Returns.  Cocaine comics. 

The new Venom trailer makes me think of the original Ghost Rider movie (classic Nic Cage!).  That’s both a good and bad thing. 

I’m worried about her.

And there on those steps of legality he witnessed the one rarely seen, rougher and bigger, bolder and what was the great brand being sported? 

Couldn't sign off without mentioning the return of wedding iteration (greatness and life fulfilling).  But now the evenness has been disrupted (oh well).

He’s not adding anything new to the pool, merely bitching about everything he sees. 

Across the red mountains an ancient evil is waiting.  Screams echo. 

I couldn’t pull the trigger today over a small box with smaller things in it and all the while I was considering between a short stack of pancakes and something more of the color that attracts the female eye per something read with a question mark motif. 

Stark black and white imagery now of the topside explosion. 

Sex is tearing us apart these days; all the loving ways we subvert our principles.  I so love the lies we tell ourselves just so we can get off. 

I should stick my hand into a big pot of cold spaghetti.

Speaking of which, what shall I have for dinner?  Maybe a hand. 

I think I’ll go to the bookstore later on. 

It’s all about filling in the gaps these days. 

That was the nicest prison cell I’ve ever seen but of course it wasn’t really a prison. 

I wanted to run away with her.

He’s look for a new muse. 

I have a strong urge to purchase a bar of chocolate and then eat it. 

What else have I erased from my history? 

There inside during the interrogative process an answer was nearly missed due to the leaving of another. 

I am halfway through Year Zero and I see the beautiful intent; the anti Year One.  it is a very impressive work so far. 

You know, I’ve tried but I just can’t get into Weezer.  Their music just floats by me with nothing interesting about it. 

I am beginning with Animal Man and soon I will move on the further canonical works. 

I can’t master this new iteration in the way I foolishly thought. 

Too many mind altering chemicals have permanently altered my quests and adventures.  I like have no choice but to put on a flashy outfit and talk to the magical sprite over my shoulder.

Once I was funny and sexy and now I am nothing.  Maybe I’m still a bit weird. 

It’s difficult to rationalize all these alien landscapes I’ve traversed.  I think I’ve lost the plot here. 

What did anyone else see?  What they pen about these experiences?

Would it be wise or unwise to peruse that bumper book of magic?  It sounds cute but dangerous cute?

There as a radio talking to him and he felt very afraid.

The work from hell may still be the very best of his.

The Icy One going on a heavily politicized rant was of course quite exciting.  Alongside that earmarked replacement.    

Have you ever encountered anyone who truly believes in magic? 

Sideshow Collectibles offers a couple different statues I would like to buy if I had excess quantities of cash.  For now I will just lust after them. 

There was someone in his house at night that should not have been there.  the home owner felt very afraid. 

We must all make an effort to spend a bit more time in the fifth dimension. 

Yeah, Venom just does not look good at all but I will still see it. 

It would have been a great idea to kick things off with a massive robotic bear.  Maybe I’ll drink some cheap soda for good measure. 

000111001101011111111010101100000101001010110101001101101100010101010100001111010101011111010100001010111010101011001100001010100000000001101100000110101000101010001010001000111100101011010100010111111010110100011110100000111110101111

Has he lost his hard edge?

I should probably learn more about John Dee or would that perhaps introduce an utterly terrifying element into my life. 

Are we talking about a fascist police state here?

I need to go to the bank later on and take care of something dry. 

I did not realize there’s something of an occult war going on around us between two visionary titans of industry. 

Yes, a new queen has indeed taken that throne.  And then it joyously occurred to me that the dimensions are roughly the same as a rock and roll compass or an invisible killer. 

One is bald and one is very hairy.

He’s slowly investigating more and more into the occult.  This can be a very dangerous path to go down and full of lost and unfortunate folk.

But mayhaps time to look at all those magicians (at the dawn or at sunrise?)

I’ve really contributed nothing to the field of mathematics. 

I’m still keeping my eyeballs peeled for those waxy iterations of achtung baby and zooropa.

I’ve listened to Tony Molina’s new album several times.  I like it. 

Do you understand?

catching up with specifics (but new inside the square, corner is ref to square and a specific brand of face!)

Do you remember when you confronted me during the Great Depression?  Ah, those were the days.  I have not yet begun writing in pure liquidity but he was able to resist slipping into the blue today and that is a victory.  I’m not speaking of electric blue of course which is and shall always be the color of my room (where I will live).  There are several different blues floating around.  I am starting to say goodbye to blue Monday in this very moment.  It is the first of its kind for me.  what I fool I’ve been. 

It was in the middle of waffles when he realized he is deeply obsessed with the image of her crossing her eyes.  Lots of hairs.  Purple monster.  Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah! 

Need to get my hands on Captain Britain. So I am 3 volumes into the 10 volumes of Scott Snyder’s run on Batman and it is great stuff.  I declare Death of the Family to be a classic Joker story.  And I really dig Greg Capullo’s artwork!  I dig it!  Love this stuff!  Love it! 

I need to get my hands on Jerusalem.  I’m so illiterate.  I’m so ignorant.  You already know!  I remember back in the day when I spilled fruit punch all over everything!  Twenty dollars down the drain!  Get the hell out of my face!  Firsts!  Page long introduction.  I turned yellow and then I was a bunny with robotic appendages (not the bunny again, so much failure and so little time, THAT is my story) and I began things with a zero or something and I was using the word palooka and I had red dreadlocks at one point and cried because I spilled fruit punch over everything.  He tried to blame me! 

I love how Batman #5 plays with the actual physical format.  I have a fondness for works which play with (utilize) the medium itself.  Big fan of Morrison’s work as well. 

I just happened upon one of the greatest ideas I’ve ever heard in the history of my miserable life.  Just as the red devil unleashed full splendid force during the previous night.  I’ve just come to check the meter though, I have to remember that. 

The red crab migration has you.  And each individual hair stands out he noticed, apropos of nothing.  I’m talking about Flex of course. 

I’ve loved Brian Bolland’s Animal Man covers since an early age.  And his Wonder Woman covers.  And his Batman covers.  And his interiors.  I love all Brian Bolland’s work.  Though I am in strong disagreement with him on his disapproval of the initial coloring job on The Killing Joke. I do like his recolored version too. BUT I vastly prefer the original and I think it adds a great deal of atmosphere to the story.  Animal Man!  Yes! That’s the real British Invasion!  Fuck it, I love the punk rock stuff too!  Fuck!  Gotta love those Brits!  They really know their shit! 

At the exact halfway point in the non narrative.  I’m sitting in a messy room.  I hear a dog barking but the dog only exists in the past and only in waves.  Everything comes down to waves.  Someone is painting me with a brush right now, ignore the dead wolf on the side of the road.  I really am nothing.  Dirt digging down.  feeling dizzy lately.  That probably isn’t a good sign.  but now i know the proper time to arrive; bleach, not quite, so obvious, bountiful and wonderful.  

The day the world turned day glo, I was not familiar with this phenomenon before today.  Are the trades spinning today to paint a kinder picture?  Maybe.  Though I am in a state of great anticipation.  Big bang could create a big new obsession and that sly relates to the greatest idea I’ve heard which was mentioned earlier.  That’s right, I’ve upgraded my assessment of that idea to the coveted spot of the greatest idea I’ve ever heard in my miserable life.  Decimation is the key.  A very specific brand of decimation. 

The search for enlightenment.  Silver spheres entering my room now.  The one earmarked as a replacement.  So many all vying. Put those up for a rest.  Sharing affection while torture underneath.  Yes, that cross-eyed stare exerts a very potent form of mind control.  Is it time to properly engage with psychotropics? 

If I only I could have been around when animal man was first hitting.  And all that other great stuff.  If only I’d been there when there was a serious house being constructed on a serious earth.  And yet he was very present during a very lovely time.  all while he (another he) was going somewhere he has never been before.  Away.  Jones knew the secrets then.  Ah, Jones.  It all adds up.  And very soon will be a full two decades on from the true start, the brilliant revival.  The love.  I’m just going to walk in and take it.  Summer time with the fruit and transformative clay. 

Bolland is British!  I’m such an idiot! 

Ah the honor that is unleashed on Wednesdays.  I should have known.  And there is also a knighting taking place.  No, not knighting, a nighting.  I think I’ll understand.  Elise is not the right name either.  Feeling dizzy now, always a pleasure. 

I didn’t have the presence of mind twenty eight odd years ago to make the necessary purchase.  Would I have the guts to connect myself to a car battery and freely give my own feces as transcendental gifts?  The original inclination for transvestitism was the right approach.  Still, I ultimately understand the contrarian arguments and decisions.  Later on the inclination for full frontal nudity was also the right approach.  Still, I ultimately understand the contrarian arguments and decisions. 

These new (but based on longstanding) obsessions are taking hold.  Trapped in the corner.  Lovingly trapped.  That is where everything ends.  The final sight.  Three easy payments and it could potentially work.  eager now, paperwork is the missing link between man and bird!  No, it is the means for a blatant and loving propagation of sin! 

prelude to a agh (second fry, can he resist The Rhapsody in Blue and what of The Jackal and The Mean One in Between!?!)

Ana Gabriel’s music is just so gorgeous.  Sometimes it hurts to listen to it.  I love her live albums.  Yeah, I’m not saying anything new but the Rolling Stones have 4 perfect albums in a row.  Esta Noche by Ana Gabriel is a personal favorite of mine.  As is Esta Noche by Amaral.  No Creo, Donde Estas Corazon and Inevitable get me every time.  And Quiero!  Tears in my eyes.  Shine a Light too!  And A Case of You.  Thank you Lord for the music!  Back to back I love the ablums Achtung Baby and Zooropa. 

I need to get my hands on several thousand dollars and blow it all on statues.  I have a list ready!  Please please let her be okay!  I ate bananas and fried chicken for breakfast.  I should probably pick up Sonya Yoncheva’s Handel album.  I should probably through myself into the river (I’m already making plans for that, hopefully I can stretch that twenty five dollars American into something which yields great results!)  Black pants!  But the consistency remains a mystery.  Gothic.  Not sure why I chose to put that word there.  I need to visit an anti-diner.  I was investigating something in seattle before being reassigned to Buenos aires.  I left behind a sister.  I’m now talking about someone else.  

The mole is simply adorable, it makes it all work, never lose it.  I really need to get my hands on some beige suits and also read and re-read “King” Kirby’s work.  can’t seem to think straight these days, not with all these cameras on me anyway.  Do you have the?  I wish I came from a planet composed entirely of creamed corn. 

Breakfast story

A man woke up at the crack of dawn, the acrid taste of self-loathing thick on his tongue.  His gut hurt due to all the booze he consumed during the previous two days and nights.  He pulled his jeans up over his naked buttocks and got out bed.  He walked to the kitchen and cooked up eggs over easy and put on a pot of black.  Then he sat down and ate his breakfast, wondering what to do with another empty day.

End of Breakfast story 

I have tendency to literally and figuratively shit myself when asking pertinent questions.  Is he having some type of breakdown (as found on part 2 of that double release, the blue cover).  When I said he I know I meant me (or I, another riff there albeit one from the golden age, speaking of that I need to get around to reading  more golden age comic books).  I now I can resist the siren song today.  I know I can do it!  Or can i?  the more I learn I less I want to know.  Does anything really matter anymore?  It would be the jackal today, yes?  I suppose the identity truly is now the jackal. 

I’ll say it again, someone needs to donate about $700 to my statue fund right now.  Then I’ll record myself and everyone will watch me use a Swiss army pocket knife and handle Styrofoam.  Then I’ll probably eat bread. 

Fuck! I already missed out on the bunny rabbit.  I wanted the bunny rabbit so badly I could almost taste it!  I could almost baste it!  But now because of my gross inadequacy all I can do is fucking waste it!!!!  Maybe I can just imagine a world where I can paste it!  If I’d only known earlier I would have chased it!  But now I will never have that bunny rabbit!!  My face is so contorted and distorted now!  I don’t understand what anything means!  I’m going to cry!  I want to cry so badly because it’s all just falling to shit around me!  why didn’t I know about this sooner!?? Why?!  Why did  you leave me!?  now that bunny rabbit will never be mine!!! incredible how ten dollars American can make all the motherfucking difference in the world!!! Oh please someone help me!  Oh God please!!! My stomach hurts so much and my brain is on fire!!! Why can’t I fucking do anything right?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I have no choice but to just eat paper.  It’s good roughage.  It add valuable fiber to any well balanced diet.  Need a drink now.  Nothing works anymore.  Someone help me.  hacking up black stuff now.  My hands shake and then go numb.  Lets work!  I wish I was out to lunch with lunch meat.  My plan is so risky I may end up consuming a bowl of delicious sugary cereal.  Or maybe I’ll glide around on rollerskate underwater.  No, I just don’t think it’s a practical idea.  Not without anything beneath us or joyous ice cold air filling our lungs.  Shame.  I hope there may be another chance.  Red moon now but where’s the fall dog?  I’ve never forgotten that my ultimate destiny is to have eight sons all named Richard.  Luckily there’s more than one way to skin a cat, eh?  Pump’s dry as a bone, I won’t be able to get what I want today.  But that’s okay.  But if I try sometimes….

Lemon has me.  it’s a great soundscape.  I can see the crumbling castles falling into the ocean and then I’m inside several absolutely gorgeous churches.  Maybe I’ll take some classes soon and get things back on a good straight line.  Maybe I’ll visit a place with nice architecture soon.  My lady.  Our lady. 

I’m all set to waste the rest of my day!  such is the nature of wisdom.  If I can get just get to Reno by sundown though I know I can turn it all around.  I considered sending a congratulatory missive but should i?  was if the severed foot was in the other shoe?  We all know the answer to that one.  but should that really matter?  Maybe a lovely picnic pinoit is indeed in order.  Sounds positively sumptuous.  I did so enjoy that last sun drenched outing.  What hope do we have?  Quite touching right in the middle there.  native. 

I guess no one leaves me alone anymore but I can’t really understand why.  I’m such a turd.  What did I watch the other day that I liked? oh yea, now I remember!

1100 (really do love that new thing, very inspiring, as is this other thing, different modes + always denier, especially after long hard day, please!)

It is no longer surprising that people are incapable of resolving anything for themselves.  Fucking worthless incompetent sonsabitches!  Ah, I forget about the muse.  The classic one that replete with cubed fried fish and strange dogs.  How could this fucker ramble on for twenty motherfucking pages?! 

Looks like I spoke too soon which is unsurprising given the incorrigible asshole I am.  I actually really enjoy Greta Van Fleet’s double EP thing and I’m looking forward with cat like curiosity to their upcoming debut album.  These are smart young lads who make sunny, blistering rock!  These kids have the stuff! 

I’m listening to teatime dub encounters, right now aren’t i?  always a pleasure to have the iguana invading my hairy and waxy earholes.  Apropos of nothing I must say that Pike looks very sexy in voodoo in my blood.  Speaking of voodoo I’m just barely starting to get bitches brew.  That is truly a difficult and fascinating work.  of course that thing I mentioned before the jazz thing is a very clear riff on that great GREAT 80’s Andrzej Zulawski film Possession, I so love that crazy, sly and natty film.  Earlier Neill too.  Tentacles have me.  Mondo put out a gorgeous special edition blu ray of that on a couple years ago.  It regularly plays at midnight in my posh flat.  Sometimes I….  Now I gotta watch the snowman again.  That’s another movie I loved, giggle.  I see it now that is very Burroughs-esque.  And that is always a good thing for me.  if only I had wings.  Stewardesses and cocaine.  There is a soft pink machine right there on my floor.  The  liquid white nuts are kicking in.  and now there is also the matter of the dark sweaty locale of foreign bitter glass.  This is it. Life fulfilling discussions.  No need to apologize.  I sometimes confuse three with two.  Hahahaha, I laugh about the jungle and monkey sounds.  Maybe times to shove some hot peppers up my ass!  I thought that was Kim Gordon for a second but it turns out I was wrong which makes sense because I’m an idiot.  I really really like this new EP.  Isn’t that great writing?!  Isn’t that brilliant critical analysis!?  My stomach hurts something fierce from all the Nes café (I’m a spy you see) that I’ve been pounding.  Mayhaps a bottle or two of dirt cheap red wine will make my poor tummy feel better?!  Maybe a bucket of fried fuckin’ chicken too!  With. 

G2 is easily the greatest drink known to man.  But it’s badly overrated.  Don’t worry everyone, I’ll be getting my XFL tattoos soon enough.  Then I’ll probably give up on some pipe dreams.  If I win that contest I’m throwing myself into the river, that much I promise!  A couple of the next scores I want to add to my collection are James Horner’s Star Trek III The Search for Spock and Takayuki Hattori’s Godzilla 2000!  Don’t judge me, Joe Brown!  Of course all this trek talk just makes me want to watch Wrath of Khan again.  What a film!  That sequence where the two ships are about to have their first confrontation is EPIC.  From hell’s heart I stab at thee!  References upon references!  Oodles and oodles of o’s! 

Yes, I’m at the end now. This is so inspiring.  And I love the story behind it all, the clandestine meetings in hotel rooms.  It is a portrait of true creativity in motion.  It’s everything as it should be.  I’m probably going to wake up sucking a lemon tomorrow.  I need to get my ass out of the dirt.  I’m sorry that I’ve let everyone down.  yeah, I’m still loving that last NIN release.  It makes a good little buddy to this new thing.  It’s not only The Duke that can be heard in that.  There’s a nice slice of Badalamenti slash Lynch in there. 

Now it’s dark.  Shit yes man, pour the fucking beer!  I was drinking beer earlier.  Fortune smiles.  Lovely smile really.  Please don’t apologize. I love being ripped off. 

I think it’ll be exile later on tonight.    I know less and less…. Why am I doing this. This means absolutely nothing.  I should be making brownies and eating carrots.  It should not be underestimated how much I’ve been drinking lately.  What a rut.  What a butt!  Reminded of the jackal who’s not the jackal, a living manifestation of something already living but only seen through the prism of glass.  How he would love to be her prisoner.  I’m not quite sure if I feel more today than I did yesterday.  Maybe a tiny amount.  Yet I still made largely the same mistakes.  How curious.  Time to just hang myself? 

Grocery store tale

A man went to the local grocery with a carefully written list clasped in his sweaty hand.  He entered the store and said hi to the clerk who knew him by name.  He scoured the aisles until he found every last item on that list.  Then he brought the items to a moderately busy checkout lane and paid for them with plastic.  Afterward he left the store and drove him feeling reasonably satisfied. 

End of Grocery store tale

I metaphorically reached out to help someone today but I’m not really sure why.  But I am pretty sure that my motives were not pure.  Still, I truly hope it all works out for the best.  There are imaginary versions of very familiar people meeting in that park and underneath the stars at this very moment.  I hope they are happy. 

I learned the verse bass line to Slow Burn tonight.  I played it until the skin on my fingers had completely peeled off and then I continued playing with ragged and bloody fingertips!  I do so enjoy the Heathen album.  He’ll be okay.  But I don’t know about me. 

When was the last time i?  I remembered something important in an instant the other day.  it’s too late now, much too late.  That thought occurs to me over and over again as I start to cry.  But of course the phrase too late implies there was ever a possibility.  What a colossal waste of humanity I am.  How I fucking despise myself.  Such an utter failure.  But please let me keep those just a while longer.  Haha chortle, didn’t even realize the precious bookend until now.  So lovely.  Always. 

I’m shitting in the milk again! That one is for you all you continuity buffs out there!  I’m so ugly and awful. Oh wow I hate myself so much!  SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!

my electrifying hands are useless in the face of ruthless and sweet liquidity (in search of a new...maybe?)

I’m flipping in colors!  That’s what I realized when I woke up this morning before promptly taking a shit in the milk.  I think I’ll enter that contest.  If I win then I will happily through myself into the river upon completion of the enjoyment of my winnings; the spoils of victory.  Its going to be a while before I get that Metal storyline though I look forward to it with great relish and sauerkraut.  I should do some light reading later on. 

I regret that there is no straight through the glass conduit to Fairbanks.  I suspect it would be just the unhealthy obsession one needs to regain his mental and emotional faculties.  Especially with the mask related addition.  Always with a tree running down the side.  How many identities is that?  Every time I turn around there is a new one, all so thrilling.  To be slayed like that is a dream.  Cute mugging. 

With twenty dollars American I will unlock all the secrets in the known universe.  Then maybe I’ll paint my room pink and blue. No, wait, my room is already electric blue.  I need to a buy a frame for something.  I forgot the German word for frame but it was richly appropriate at one point, especially because this river always reminds me of another river.  The optical effects were recurring.  I know less and less about….

I saw a lovely Zatanna statue that I would kill to add to my collection.  But I don’t suppose that’ll happen anytime soon.  Oh well, such is bank.  Starting to see that face everywhere, melding now with things.  straight black is the preference but suddenly the opposite was suggested for its strength is ten times mightier.  And now it is seen that there is a perfect melding taking place.  The most important element is already there.  Mother, forgive me. 

If only I could have eaten corn flakes for breakfast today and dinner last night.  Then maybe I might actually be worth a damn.  Today is Kubrick Day.  I love the man’s work.  Could Barry Lyndon by my favorite of his films.  I don’t have the answer to that question.  I don’t have the answers to a lot of questions.  But still I stand guard, ever vigilant, ever waiting for signs of threats extraterrestrial.  I want to eat cereal at some point in the future.  Numbers have me. 

It was bugmen yesterday, more pointedly imagining himself in the place of the bugmen.  Yes, of course there was verbal taunting.  It’s all part of a very specific vinegar laden recipe.  And the denouement could really only be one thing.  But even this…brought him no real satisfaction.  There is nothing left.  Already a search has begun today but only to eliminate unnecessary distraction.  Can’t call in again.  I truly detest myself.  Don’t fantasize too much about dying!

You know, I really like that David Bowie Heathen.  I was listening to it the other day while driving in my car (where I feel safest of all, but of course I don’t know any hallways) and then I was also listening to it the other day while in the comfort of my posh flat though while there I was listening to it on wax.  I once purchased that album as a gift for someone.  I remember hearing it for the first time.  the last cycle always gets me.  don’t stay in a sad place.  If only. 

So it seems The Little Star will be returning this coming Tuesday.  Thank everything.  Perhaps this will be just the thing he needs to regain some semblance of feeling.  If The Little Star cannot bring him back then is there any hope at all?  Army colors and electrified nunchakus.  There has been a wealth of chances lately.  So grateful.  Tears of joy.  I am a separate and opaque version of myself.  I see my actions but have no connection to them save for suffering the consequences. 

Maybe if I were Amoeba Man I would stand a chance at winning that contest.  All the mystery correspondence that was never written.  All the dreams I had that never came true.  I’m alone in bed and crying now though this is actually years and years ago.  Is the circus in town?  How low can you go?  Of course, there’s the answer to how things will be started today finally.  The zeroes and ones iteration for the time being.  It takes me everywhere, emblazoned on my wall. 

Yes, back before the last one…she is the most…but also the most….  That is the best (and last?) chance.  There, now it’s all out in the home and predictably there is no satisfaction to be had.  The native show features such lovely accompaniment.  I am certainly intrigued by Wayne Shorter’s new album and will pick up a copy in a sun drenched town  upon its release.  We should all draw with blue pen more often.  How could I forget about that dreamy recollection?

Ah, so many things he will never see.  Cribbing a bit right now but lets raise our glasses: here’s to a lousy life!  The sundog requires much more attention of course but please let it be a sign of things to come!  The detective aspect of things has not been nearly as satisfying but does that perhaps harken back to those halcyon days of yore where a group of young upstarts created an empire based almost entirely on image.  I have found a vital new player; red and mesmeric. 

The rest in peace piece still remains a favorite of mine though it is crucial to note the only halfway involvement of the aforementioned subject of the young upstart comparison.  The pre purchased videos were not even used today.  I was laughing hysterically when I realized that all this time I was clasping onto to nothing more than an old bused HAM radio.  I’m going to get a haircut today.  Oh but who really gives a flying fuck?!

I’m bellowing like a gut shot pig now because it’s all gone to shit!  No, it’s gone to seed!  Oh, for his life to only be seen in standard definition.  Lots of things seemed to have meaning before but not so much now.  Lie down beneath the stars and look at your life.  All the empty fucks.  All the empty everything.  We demand convenience and the kindness of the in the moment companion.  We must spill our guts.  Maybe I’ll do something that makes me happy today but I kind of doubt it.