Here I sit on the eve of Man of Steel. My tickets are ready and my outfit is fresh
and starched. I purchased the special
edition soundtrack last night yet I have refrained from listening to the
discs. Soundtrack music is indelibly
linked to the corresponding feature film and I never like listening to the
music before seeing its context first within the film itself. Part of me feels very dead today and I have a
sneaking suspicion that my not so pretty face is headed somewhere very
bad. I recall being at work and blinking
back hot tears. The world was growing
dim around me and a single utterance from a co-worker was like an explosion in
my ears. I wanted to slice open my
stomach with a letter opener and pull out my large intestine and use this bloody
rope to hang myself with but I did not do this.
At one point I was on the verge of sheer panic and I listened to the
song “Cabecita Loca” by Amaral and this calmed me down as it always does. I frequently wonder why anyone talks to me at
all and often find myself wishing they would all cease. I ate two sticks of beef jerky and a granola
bar for lunch and chewed 11 pieces of gum throughout the day. When I am tired of one piece I am never able
to simply spit it into the garbage can because I won’t be able to stop thinking
about a small, deformed chewy gob sticking to the sides of the plastic bag so I
always place it in the wrapper first and then dispose of it.
I have been following the NBC program Hannibal with great
enthusiasm since its initial airing a couple months ago. That last statement is not entirely true and I
am reminded once more of my unfortunate penchant for telling lies even when none
are necessary. I was initially quite
skeptical about this show as I felt the character of Hannibal Lecter had been
far too overexposed and was no longer interesting. Yet the previews intrigued me and the pilot
episode won me over with its attention to character and taut execution. Since then the show has only continued to
surprise and impress and is currently my favorite program, leaps and bounds
ahead of all others I watch. One recent
episode was easily the best hour of television I’ve seen in years and left me
in a state of slack jawed awe. All the
actors bring their A-game, the world and mythology therein is richly detailed
and the photography and set design is stunning, rendering it easily one of – if
not THE – best looking shows on television.
It is the only current show that I must watch during its original air
time and at the end of an episode I often feel compelled to watch it once more
in order to fully savor the sumptuous detail.
Bravo I say to all involved with the creation of this program.
I remember with great detail someone screaming at me
constantly and calling me a “disappointment” and “ungrateful” and “worthless” and
telling me undeserving I was of everything I had. I remember feeling slaps across my face and
not raising a hand back and being told to go to hell and feeling so angry that I
wanted to punch and bite until all the bones in my hands were broken and my
teeth were stained with blood with some being pulled free. There is a massive amount of hate that grows
inside so many people from the mistreatment of others. Sometimes – if those people do not find a
conduit for release – that hate becomes a living entity, a separate identity
unto itself that can take over and change everything in a life. It has its own voice and its own face and its
own intentions and soon enough it spreads and multiplies, becoming many. There are constant feelings of ugliness and
strange twisting things inside and they coil around and squeeze and kill as
much as they can. They plead and they
beg when they have to. Sometimes they
tempt and seduce and their caress feels as inviting and perversely proper as it
does frightening. And sometimes those
things simply stop taking no for an answer and coming tearing out, leaving so
much devastation in their wake that it is impossible to push them back inside
or go back to how it was before.
I recently made the purchase of a lifetime when I bought
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines on Blu-Ray.
This is my favorite of the quadrilogy and in fact the only one I would
dare to purchase. Despite the presence
of my love Christian Bale, Terminator Salvation was a steaming pile of manure
and I’ve always felt that the first two take themselves far too seriously. This opinion is course a bit hypocritical on
my part since I am often called to defend The Great Supreme Master of Cinema
Christopher Nolan’s Bat-Trilogy from weak minded simpletons who unjustly claim
those filmic masterpieces takes themselves too seriously. Kristanna Loken plays the T-X in this movie,
the central antagonist to Schwarzenegger’s classic model T-800 and she brings
an intense charisma to the icy role. I’ve
often fantasized about being brutally murdered by her, albeit in mostly
different ways than are depicted in the film.
Mala Rodriguez is releasing a new album next Tuesday and
this excites. I still enjoy physical
releases over purely digital ones so I imagine I will have to wait until some
copies spring up on ebay or amazon.co.uk as these are always released first in
foreign lands. It is worth the wait and
the hunt. She is a thrilling artist,
possibly my favorite rapper and the disc’s lead single – entitled “33” – is a
fiery, aggressive and unbearably sexy piece of art.
I hope Man of Steel is great and that I love it but if I don’t
that is okay too.
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