Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Wednesday night, safe and sound

Here I sit on the eve of Man of Steel.  My tickets are ready and my outfit is fresh and starched.  I purchased the special edition soundtrack last night yet I have refrained from listening to the discs.  Soundtrack music is indelibly linked to the corresponding feature film and I never like listening to the music before seeing its context first within the film itself.  Part of me feels very dead today and I have a sneaking suspicion that my not so pretty face is headed somewhere very bad.  I recall being at work and blinking back hot tears.  The world was growing dim around me and a single utterance from a co-worker was like an explosion in my ears.  I wanted to slice open my stomach with a letter opener and pull out my large intestine and use this bloody rope to hang myself with but I did not do this.  At one point I was on the verge of sheer panic and I listened to the song “Cabecita Loca” by Amaral and this calmed me down as it always does.  I frequently wonder why anyone talks to me at all and often find myself wishing they would all cease.  I ate two sticks of beef jerky and a granola bar for lunch and chewed 11 pieces of gum throughout the day.  When I am tired of one piece I am never able to simply spit it into the garbage can because I won’t be able to stop thinking about a small, deformed chewy gob sticking to the sides of the plastic bag so I always place it in the wrapper first and then dispose of it. 

I have been following the NBC program Hannibal with great enthusiasm since its initial airing a couple months ago.  That last statement is not entirely true and I am reminded once more of my unfortunate penchant for telling lies even when none are necessary.  I was initially quite skeptical about this show as I felt the character of Hannibal Lecter had been far too overexposed and was no longer interesting.  Yet the previews intrigued me and the pilot episode won me over with its attention to character and taut execution.  Since then the show has only continued to surprise and impress and is currently my favorite program, leaps and bounds ahead of all others I watch.  One recent episode was easily the best hour of television I’ve seen in years and left me in a state of slack jawed awe.  All the actors bring their A-game, the world and mythology therein is richly detailed and the photography and set design is stunning, rendering it easily one of – if not THE – best looking shows on television.  It is the only current show that I must watch during its original air time and at the end of an episode I often feel compelled to watch it once more in order to fully savor the sumptuous detail.  Bravo I say to all involved with the creation of this program. 

I remember with great detail someone screaming at me constantly and calling me a “disappointment” and “ungrateful” and “worthless” and telling me undeserving I was of everything I had.  I remember feeling slaps across my face and not raising a hand back and being told to go to hell and feeling so angry that I wanted to punch and bite until all the bones in my hands were broken and my teeth were stained with blood with some being pulled free.  There is a massive amount of hate that grows inside so many people from the mistreatment of others.  Sometimes – if those people do not find a conduit for release – that hate becomes a living entity, a separate identity unto itself that can take over and change everything in a life.  It has its own voice and its own face and its own intentions and soon enough it spreads and multiplies, becoming many.  There are constant feelings of ugliness and strange twisting things inside and they coil around and squeeze and kill as much as they can.  They plead and they beg when they have to.  Sometimes they tempt and seduce and their caress feels as inviting and perversely proper as it does frightening.  And sometimes those things simply stop taking no for an answer and coming tearing out, leaving so much devastation in their wake that it is impossible to push them back inside or go back to how it was before. 

I recently made the purchase of a lifetime when I bought Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines on Blu-Ray.  This is my favorite of the quadrilogy and in fact the only one I would dare to purchase.  Despite the presence of my love Christian Bale, Terminator Salvation was a steaming pile of manure and I’ve always felt that the first two take themselves far too seriously.  This opinion is course a bit hypocritical on my part since I am often called to defend The Great Supreme Master of Cinema Christopher Nolan’s Bat-Trilogy from weak minded simpletons who unjustly claim those filmic masterpieces takes themselves too seriously.  Kristanna Loken plays the T-X in this movie, the central antagonist to Schwarzenegger’s classic model T-800 and she brings an intense charisma to the icy role.  I’ve often fantasized about being brutally murdered by her, albeit in mostly different ways than are depicted in the film. 

Mala Rodriguez is releasing a new album next Tuesday and this excites.  I still enjoy physical releases over purely digital ones so I imagine I will have to wait until some copies spring up on ebay or amazon.co.uk as these are always released first in foreign lands.  It is worth the wait and the hunt.  She is a thrilling artist, possibly my favorite rapper and the disc’s lead single – entitled “33” – is a fiery, aggressive and unbearably sexy piece of art.


I hope Man of Steel is great and that I love it but if I don’t that is okay too.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

still waiting on father news

  Didn’t have that wet shave.   But today will be the day.   woke up to a lovely tale rife with anecdotal evidence.   Would love a dinner of...