DuPont destroyed my life and made it worth living

Oh Chacala. 

I saw a mother walking her child to the school bus stop this morning.  For some reason this touched me.  It was something so casual.  Just a display of love and caring, staying with her boy to guarantee his safety until the bus comes. 

Yesterday there were 4 horror movies that I was anticipating with great relish and sauerkraut for the great year of 2015: Starry Eyes, It Follows, The Babadook, and Rob Zombie’s new movie 31.  I watched Starry Eyes last night so now I can say there are only 3 I am greatly anticipating. 

Prince released 2 albums last year: the electro RnB funk one man band thing Art Official Age and the electric rock full band effort PlectrumElectrum (with band 3rdEyeGirl).  I’ve enjoyed both since the very beginning though initially I preferred Art Official Age.  However now that the effervescent glow of newness has faded I feel confident in concluding I ultimately prefer PlectrumElectrum.  There’s some great stompers on there, great classic Prince material and some sumptuous guitar and bass playing.  Wow is a perfect album opener.  It makes me feel momentarily alive while it’s playing. 

The album Technique by New Order is slowly changing my life.  There is always more to bond with.  If only I could play bass like Peter Hook.  What can I say?  Hook has his hooks in me. 

Lucha Underground killed again last night.  Not much more needs to be said.  I’ve become a TV junkie. 

Baseball season is starting soon and with it my life can begin anew. 

Electronics have their hold on me.  She spins around so much.  She does everything I want her to do.  My pleasures are all imaginary.  There are only a very small number of things I can actually write about.  

Obsession outlives everything, including love. 

Original gangsters are growing inside my brain.  Oh God, and she makes garters.  What have you done to me?  I have such a strong desire to stab myself in the face over and over again.  Maybe then I feel a little relief from what’s swimming around inside.  She’s gonna say goodbye and I say yeah. 

Why are you filling me with so much happiness?  It scares me.  It does not feel natural.  I suspect we’ll meet again somewhere in some strange way. 

As a child, I literally ate, slept and lived baseball, that’s where it was at.  What’s happened to the game I so loved?  Where’s the passion, the drive, the love of the game?  Now it’s all about the paycheck. 

I viewed you in so many compromising positions.  This was shameful.  Everyone was so close.  He was so close.   I threw respect out the window where it was promptly run over by a dump truck.  I usually don’t like jeans but you pulled them off nicely (or should I say how I wished you had pulled them off nicely hahaha, wit!  Wordplay!)

I saw on the news that a 3-year-old in New Mexico found a gun (while apparently reaching for an Ipod) in his mom’s purse and got a shot off, wounding both parents.  Now they are being investigated for negligence.  Women and their purse guns.  When will they ever fucking learn?  People are so dumb.  This family should have their guns and their children taken away.  Then they should be forced to put on chicken costumes and eat steaming plates of liver and onions. 

 

When I woke up this morning the city was in the thick of a torrential downpour (I foolishly tried to catch the deluge in a paper cup).  I love the rain so much.  I drove to work with this life purifying force splashing on my windshield and listening to New Order’s 1983 album Power, Corruption and Lies.  Could there be a better way to begin the morning?  If “work” was replaced with one of several other possible destinations I imagine it would be exponentially better.  Still, it was a great start to a classically disagreeable day. 

 

“Yes please,” is what is said when offered a bag for my purchases but what I was actually thinking was “What the hell do you think you dumb fucking bitch?”  My thoughts and their accompanying rage actually scare me a bit sometimes.  I do not know where they come from and I do not know if they are normal. 

 

I know at some point I’ll buy the movie The Other Guys but I’m not proud of this.  I watched Panic Room again yesterday for the first time in years.  It still holds up.  And Fight Club is still far and away my least favorite David Fincher movie. 

 

4 Sundays will have no meaning.  This is a sad but inescapable conclusion.  I realized just yesterday that you have the ability to throw stars.  Somewhere there is a sweet electronic melody playing and the words floating on top recall the time you and I spent together.  I may never have a chance to tell you how much that time meant to me.  It was greater than anything before or since and I suspect that will remain true for the rest of my life. 

 

I decide to drink Diet Coke today instead of Coke because I’m desperately trying to lose weight.  I’ve been letting my hair grow out a bit because I want to look like James Caan in the movie Thief.  Michael Mann has crafted several masterpieces in his career and that is certainly one of them.  The Criterion transfer is gorgeous on my low quality television set. 

 

I received a new album by popular Greek artist Haris Alexiou in the mail just the other day.  Her voice calms my restless spirit.  Should I ever see her in person I will proffer a hundred thanks for the beauty she has brought to my life. 

 

Then I’ll go off to a darkened room somewhere and eat a stack of blueberry pancakes slathered in maple sypup with a side of bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, oatmeal and orange juice.  Then I’ll pull a standard police issue Glock nine millimeter handgun from the waistband of my rent trousers and promptly blow my fucking brains out. 

 

I read the first chapter and a half of Kim Zupan’s debut novel The Ploughmen yesterday while sitting in my car and drinking stale coffee from a paper cup.  I quite enjoyed those pages and Zupan’s hardboiled prose and plan to read the rest sometime during this busy week. 

Salma Hayek always looks beautiful in a green dress.

 

I watched her new movie Everly a couple weeks ago in the comfort of my posh flat.  I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal with 2% milk while watching the first few minutes.  Then I paused the film so I could brush my teeth.  It was the first time I had ever purchased a movie through iTunes but I vowed then and there that it would not be the last.  It was a momentous occasion for me.  We live in such a fast paced world.  People want their information quicker and consume media in a far different fashion.  I have no choice but to adjust.  Hayek was great in the role.

 

I’m as excited for Madonna’s new album as I am disappointed in what a pathetic failure I am.  There are three versions of the album: standard, deluxe and super deluxe.  I’m going for the super deluxe because I’m a big spender.

 

I’m blinking back hot tears as I type and I don’t know way.  I feel such hate and sadness. 

 

I lost $20 American currency at a casino yesterday.  Then I went home and drank until I no longer felt horrible.  Then I passed out on the sofa while watching Terry Gilliam’s latest film The Zero Theorem. I had weird dreams and was thirsty when I woke up.

 

I thought about hosiery a lot this morning but to be fair that is not so different from many of my mornings.