He's away on business

They are five for five!  Five for fucking five I am telling you.  The controversial reaction is a comfort.  I only worry when there is universal acclaim.  There were moments stirring, comical and touching.  In general this entire year has been a rousing success, far beyond what my pitiful self could ever imagine.  I am greatly looking forward to the end next week as it looks grand but I am also dreading the following lack of new installments.  That seems to me to be the perfect sentiment to inspire in an audience as things draw to a close.    

Increasingly harder to focus these days.  I have broken away almost all the shackles which is very nice.  Unfortunately he is not the anchor of a heavily syndicated news program so no one would even see it if he went through with it.  The years are finally catching up, isn’t that right?  You can’t keep making those same statements and mistakes over and over again.  He must post a new photo to prove to the world his worthlessness.   There must be something more than this?  Why oh why did he ever read that book with the two magicians on the cover?  His mind was fractured by the time the sun came up.  

I’m off to see Deadpool at some point in the shockingly near future (or did I already see it?  The days have turned away from me).  My reasons for viewing this feature film have nothing to do with my love of the Deadpool character or of actor Ryan Reynolds (since such love does not exist in my spirit) or even of my fondness for comic book flicks!  No, my motivation lies in my dark heart and its intense yearning for Gina Carano.  How I’ve longed for her to destroy me in hand to hand combat.  I am delighted she is in more feature films these days.  Though on a side note I am pleased that this R rated superhero flick has done so well and hope it means the genre will finally expand (just a bit damnit, just a fucking bit!  Is that too much to hope for?!).

I attempted to watch the Grammy’s last night but found it be a shockingly dull spectacle.  Methinks I’m just a tad out of touch with modern music.  Truth be told I was mostly tuning in to watch Lady Gaga’s tribute to David Bowie.  Generally speaking, tributes are horribly cheesy piles of manure.  I will not comment much on this Bowie tribute (which makes my very mention of it largely pointless) but I will say that if Gaga ever released an album of Bowie covers I would purchase this and believe it would be a satisfying listen.  I will also say I’ve concluded that Adele has a groovy voice but I just can’t get into her songs!  They’re not bad songs at all!!! They simply do not speak to me and I don’t know why.  Sad.  Lots of respect though, she seems genuine.  Oh well, no one should care what a worthless piece of garbage like me thinks anyway.  I will politely add that she is smoking hot!  What a babe!  Hubba hubba!  Not sure what else to say about the Grammy’s.  Lots of derivative, bland tunes, lots of soullessness.  Kendrick Lamar was good.  

There was a very pleasant moment last night where you were my teacher.  I don’t believe you addressed me directly but maybe one day.  Maybe not.  I think this was you letting me know that it is all going to be okay.  Thank You. 

These glass traps keep opening up around me.  This great ugly thing inside of me is only happy when it can suck on some blood.  This is a grotesque thing.  

The Flaming Lips set was interesting.  They are slowly but surely growing on me.  

Flesh colored is lovely.  Who can say if it is the favorite but it is very lovely.  I don’t know if anyone has properly deduced these spells.  

I watched Candyman and Hellraiser in rapid succession today (or was it yesterday or maybe even the day before?!).  I love those films and Clive Barker’s writing.  It’s only been in the past couple months I’ve realized how ahead of its time Barker’s writing truly was.  It still retains its brutal power to terrify and inspire.  

Things are so fragmented now I’m surprised anyone can make sense of anything.  The pages are yellowing but I need to get my hands on them.  I am very afraid of these things that keep appearing in the sky.  My destination is unclear.  I’m putting on my makeup while glass is breaking around me.  We’ve dealt with a similar brand of insanity in the past but I fear this will grow into something new and increasingly vile.  We’re lost in a midnight crowd of people pretending to be tough.  They all bought the book but no one is reading it.  Misery is our newest vision of the future.  Is it possible these reptilian things are truly walking among us?  I hear strange voices on the phones; they say things I do not understand and afterward my head hurts and I feel nauseas.  There is a rather alarming opening in my throat and one can see clearly the exposed meat, glistening with red blood.  Sometimes it makes involuntary noises which sound very much like the purr of a satisfied cat.  There is a strange and terrifying power emanating from these yellow eyes.  I am quite certain there are awful things meeting in seclusion right now and decisions are being made that we are not going to like.  It’s printed, understand, it is all right there on those pages and everyone is so fucking blind.  

I only just now learned about the film The Space In Between – Marina Abramovic and Brazil which is set to premiere this year in Austin, Texas at the South by Southwest Film Festival.  Judging by the trailer it seems like a fascinating work. Abramovic is a hugely inspiring and inventive artist and though I won’t be able to attend the premiere because I am a useless sack of garbage this is now extremely high on my list of anticipated things for this bizarre year of 2016.  Thank You for art.  There is sweet nourishment.  Mother’s milk.

I’m shaking right now.  My body does not listen to any of the commands I give it.  Is sex evil?  Why does nothing make any sense anymore?  

I immediately fell deeply, passionately, powerfully in love with Kobra Moon.  How I wish she would put me to sleep.  Would it be appropriate to say she has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin?  I am so impure. 

Love is like a fishstick, burns you when it’s hot.