Continuity from last time folks, I’m all about the
continuity: I awoke today and it was Adamari’s legs which made my life worth
living again, if only for one more day. We can be heroes! Just for
one day. I think I put Sara last time but I meant Sofia. Why are
you so stupid, I ask myself?! That’s something my mother asked me on more
than one occasion. Like many questions, it remains unanswered. Oh
wait, I actually did it right! But the
question is still valid. I think I want
to read the book The Virgin Suicides. Maybe I will. Also, I
really like the song Damned If I Do by The Artist Formerly Known As Prince from
the Emancipation album. I love that album. The end of that song has
a Santannaesque Latin jam that I totes dig! I like to drive around with
the windows down and that tune blaring! I sometimes wonder if I am me or
if I am actually a shape shifting space alien impersonating me. The more
I discover the less I want to know. Oh, and I coincidentally I listened
to that aforementioned song yesterday while riding around in my
automobile. Later that same night I spent several hours crawling around
on my floor naked, licking myself and eating hair and lint to cough up later on
while pretending I’m a cat.
Just look at us. What pathetic, ugly, stupid things we are. Laughing, crying, fucking, not understanding a thing. We are not what was intended. What small sad lives we all lead. Where is the meteorite I was promised?! Please continue to fake it though. You grew up. You’re happy.
You know, I gotta admit: it did look good in certain shots but on the whole I do not like the Batman suit in The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. It’s just too fucking busy and segmented and plasticcy and unnecessarily complicated and bulky and clunky and weird. I just don’t like it. I’m sorry. I much much prefer the suit from Batman Begins and the suits from the 2 Tim Burton movies. I would likely even prefer the suits from Batman Forever and Batman and Robin (not the ones they wore at the end of those movies) if they removed the Bat-areolas. What can I say?!
I was pleased as proverbial punch last night to learn that The X-Files is coming back for another cute little season later this year, this time for 10 episodes. I’ve always been a big X fan and I loved the little 6 episode season from last year! I’ve watched it multiple times – sometimes with a gun to my head – and have enjoyed it roughly equally each and every time.
Just look at us. What pathetic, ugly, stupid things we are. Laughing, crying, fucking, not understanding a thing. We are not what was intended. What small sad lives we all lead. Where is the meteorite I was promised?! Please continue to fake it though. You grew up. You’re happy.
You know, I gotta admit: it did look good in certain shots but on the whole I do not like the Batman suit in The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises. It’s just too fucking busy and segmented and plasticcy and unnecessarily complicated and bulky and clunky and weird. I just don’t like it. I’m sorry. I much much prefer the suit from Batman Begins and the suits from the 2 Tim Burton movies. I would likely even prefer the suits from Batman Forever and Batman and Robin (not the ones they wore at the end of those movies) if they removed the Bat-areolas. What can I say?!
I was pleased as proverbial punch last night to learn that The X-Files is coming back for another cute little season later this year, this time for 10 episodes. I’ve always been a big X fan and I loved the little 6 episode season from last year! I’ve watched it multiple times – sometimes with a gun to my head – and have enjoyed it roughly equally each and every time.
It was a familiar rhapsody in blue. And a compliment not paid. And familiar and hollow pleas for forgiveness. We’re awful. Awful. So much blue though. Everything is blue. Electric blue, that’s the color of my room, where I will live. I cribbed that last one from David. Thank you, David. Maybe I’ll get the picture disc tomorrow. Maybe not though.
I hate myself so much. no need to mince words! Or wince birds for that matter! But yes, I hate hate hate myself. Desire is such an ugly disgusting thing. Oh I wish I were Dennis when around you. Or Tom. Or that classic Dennis/Tom hybrid. I’m an alcoholic in real life and an alcoholic in my fantasy life. There is empty stickiness later on. Everything is so happy. He comes to me in the middle of the night and makes me open wide. Please, I just want to cry and let it all out and then die. I don’t want to view myself through her eyes because that would be too awful. My rhapsody in blue, please forgive the endless longings. I guess we’re all crazy. I am infinity. I wish everyone would please stop talking to me. I wouldn’t even care except…. Oh no, we are such sad disgusting things, spinning our little wheels in our pathetic useless lives, thinking what we do matters. I suppose I justify all manner of fucked up and worthless things to myself. One day it will all be exposed and everyone will point and laugh. You didn’t have to take that one off the tab. Take care. Don’t take care, that’s what should have been said. A ballroom where we are all wearing masks; let me drink it all away. Except us two that is. And then you and the real one who matters both need me on the train or in the house and look at me with a bit of horror afterward but I’ve never been more real, even when or especially when I am cleaning blood off my vest. I know less and less about who I am or who anyone else is. I feel so bad. I feel so bad.
Maybe I’ll watch the show Outlander some time. I don’t know, maybe I won’t. Neither would surprise me.
Pity
on all these wilfully ignorant worthless fucks.
Empty. It’s all meaningless. It is truly sad to watch us desperately flail about in a pointless attempt to ascribe some significance to it all. I am the very worst offender. I am a fraud. He’s tearing it up, the friend said, in regards to an avant-garde sax solo. When the royalty needed sax, he called Candy. I should have recommended something to the Indian girl. French horror.
I’ve forgotten the face of my…. I think I need to wear a black shirt with a button up white shirt over it or a white jacket over it. Grey would probably work too. Actually grey might work better. No collars though. I became trapped on the island. It was my own fault. No one else’s. It’s never anyone else’s fault no matter how much we wish it were so. This reading here at the end did me a world of good. It’s a shame how worthless I am. Lovely smile I would say. Forever in debt. So easy to fashion. Green.
The things I love do not receive the best of me. I am an awful terrible thing and I deserve an awful end.
Empty. It’s all meaningless. It is truly sad to watch us desperately flail about in a pointless attempt to ascribe some significance to it all. I am the very worst offender. I am a fraud. He’s tearing it up, the friend said, in regards to an avant-garde sax solo. When the royalty needed sax, he called Candy. I should have recommended something to the Indian girl. French horror.
I’ve forgotten the face of my…. I think I need to wear a black shirt with a button up white shirt over it or a white jacket over it. Grey would probably work too. Actually grey might work better. No collars though. I became trapped on the island. It was my own fault. No one else’s. It’s never anyone else’s fault no matter how much we wish it were so. This reading here at the end did me a world of good. It’s a shame how worthless I am. Lovely smile I would say. Forever in debt. So easy to fashion. Green.
The things I love do not receive the best of me. I am an awful terrible thing and I deserve an awful end.
Today was one year. I see little need in pointing certain things out but there it is. Forever everything. Always enriching. Always inspiring. Of course, I Wish U Heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment