don't like the new city of gold (not edited again bc no one cares, especially yours falsely!)

Boy do I hate myself.  I don’t think I could ever possibly hate anyone as much as I hate myself.  Very soon I think I need to squeeze some medium sized plastic bottles.  I was raging this morning over some very  innocuous things.  Lunar Park so far is a great book.  I would recommend it to anyone who fancies herself or himself a writer.  I am very much looking forward to Wonder Woman this Thursday.  Those folks getting mad over the Alamo theatre screenings are morons.  I am constantly taken aback at how many morons there are in the world and the depth of their idiocy, myself included of course.  I need to keep running.  I need help and guidance.  I can’t give anything up.  Jazz music is playing in the background.  And there are giant insects. Lets play William Tell after I’ve had a few drinks!  

There were pink hubcaps inside my brain and I hated to say a certain name(s) so many times but I was still forced to and I kept wanting to slam my head against the mirror and I quite liked the idea of it drawing blood and then I would laugh or something.  I don’t feel about it.  that’s what I told my doctor.  But maybe I should feel bad about it.  I need to see my doctor again.  A Zappa Beefheart Mothers album arrived in the mail today and I look forward to listening to it but where the heck is my Bergman film?  Maybe I’ll eat coconut later.  oh we are all so very awful.  hahaha, that’s me laughing to and about myself.  We do things for absolutely no reason.

You are deluding yourself my friend.  My word, I just realized no one actually cares, we’ve just all convinced ourselves to go through the motions.  How can I take this?  I was driving by a lake earlier and there was something awful about it.  thankfully, Miles Davis was playing and made things a bit less awful.  I see my lifeless body dangling from the ceiling.  Please forgive the thought process.  Maybe later on I’ll go out and buy some crap I don’t need.  Don’t pull the oxygen tank out of the bone under my face!  I can’t breathe!!!  I keep a mirror in my shoe.  There was a tireiron dancing the hokey pokey right outside my door and I proceeded to walk outside and scorch myself under a blazing blue sun.  I tell you it scorched like a thousand evil mad sorcerers.  We are drifting away.  Let’s go on a date!  My fault, my fault.  I didn’t get the joke.  

I just watched an interview with Ray Liotta.  Or did I? Only time will tell.  Stupid fucking dinosaurs.  I realized then we are living in an awful world. We are covering up everything.  walking how many miles because you are you are a whiny thing.  The repetition was intentional.  It was the antacids that drove me insane.  Emboss me!  Hahaha, that made me laugh out loud so hard I bit my tongue off and then promptly mailed it to a woman who works in a public place who I’ve long had a crush on!  Two postage stamps!  That’s my trademark.  I very nearly papercut my eye!  That would have really put a damper on my already miserable evening!  Boy I’m a worthless person.  

Most people view me as a protector of chimps but the truth is I desperately want to buy a powder blue suit and pair it with a yellow tie but I know I could never pull it off due to my fat disgusting body and the fact that it is regrettably always paired with my ugly-as-fuck face!  Don’t make me kiss a dead guy’s jewelry!  Who is that strange man talking to me from my wall?  Ahhh medium.  I love putting a fan on medium and letting it blow in my fat ugly face.  Gyroscopes make virtual reality even better!  

I hate myself beyond belief. There is a great movie on in the background right now and it stars Rebecca Hall who is an actress I greatly admire.  I listened to part of an album called Bongo Fury today.  Tomorrow I hope to listen to the rest of it.  I recommend it to anyone who likes great things.  The first half of Low sums it all up, often exactly how I feel.   I think in another life I was probably a bag of muffins or a plate of multicolored cupcakes.  In another life maybe I was successful.  In another life maybe I was happy.  I must return to the swamp.  Maybe I’ll watch Santa Sangre again later today.  There is a part in there that reminds me a bit of a part from the movie Inferno (an underrated work by Argento in my humble and utterly worthless opinion).  I need to buy an upright bass and wear a funny hat.  I need to cook up some sausages.  Love a cookout!  But which I will do first!?  only time will tell.  Time, patience, the right berries.  Those three things can cure anything.  I’m in love with Gina Carano.  I sprayed some Oxi-Clean on my door today and stood there for 11 minutes looking at it.  I got up early to read but I didn’t.  it’s not what it seems but it is.  the CD case fell of my head and hit the floor.  Lets fight about a cheeseburger.  Malapropisms are running rampant these days.    Headscissors with hosiery; how wonderful.

 Brian was quite right in that we haven’t gone any farther than this. What a bizarre desire, to be drilling through the Spiritus Sanctus tonight.  Is there any familiarity there?  I think I’m going to start eating paste.  Label me a paste-eater if you must, if that makes you comfortable.  Oh you humans and your labels.  

The movie Haywire is on in the background.  I love this film.  I need it in my life.  I just found a great list related to another great thing.  It feels like one large work just split up into 18 parts.  I am salivating in anticipation.  My posh flat is flooded with saliva due to all my anticipation and now I have to traverse my humble home via canoe.  

Still need to get that XFL tattoo.  I hate me so fucking much!!!!!