Sunday, April 15, 2018

mill6[i see now how fear was perfectly translated into visual form and always thinking of that one, ages lining up soon, how and why? nothing goes away but not so bad)

 Such intense darkness. I wonder if that’s just a week away as has been predicted.  I’ve often suspected that that planet would be the death of us all, so hidden as it is.  No one is quite so tender. Laughing right now as plans are being made.  Almost no one else was kept.  I woke up from a dream, an ode to an ex comrade in arms.  There was no betrayal.  Things often reach their natural conclusion and we just have to recognize that.  You turn the buffalo.  Still, years ago with the daybreakers.  Nearly a decade.  That wasn’t the right Claudia.  This would be the most perfect vintage.  He’d like to think you’ll get the joke.  Why not?  Boy, I need a drink right now.  Straight booze.  I was robbed from seeing the Little Star yesterday. This robbery will haunt me til the end of my miserable days.  Love Duff’s sound and influences.  Whisky stained strings. I’ve seen success.  It does not look like me.  this is the final indictment.  I am off on more pointless ventures.  my time is no longer my own.  I simply do not matter.  I know something is very wrong.  Need to get things in order.  I realized recently I have a lot of excess crud.  I think I should start giving things away.  I’m a completely useless character.  Where and when did it all go so wrong?  Playing it so straight.  I understand that impulse.  So far it lacks that constant presence of the one accused and later hunted.  That constant overarching thing.  I suspect this will be remedied.  And no humor.  Pitch black.  I don’t need it but I really want the Nate Mendel Signature P Bass.  It’s a beautiful and affordable instrument, sounds just lovely!  Finally, The Addiction – one of my favorite movies of all time – is receiving a deluxe blu ray release.  These are miniature explorations of evil and that is a fascinating conceit.  This one travels straight down the middle for me after the nigh high of the previous entry.  I did love the interplay between young and old.  Those are key and lovely interactions.  Odd that I should be asking for an injection of humanity.  Very soon I will eat salmon.  Where can I find red salmon at this hour?  I showed and was just looking for a cup of black coffee and a cheeseburger.  Gonna have to take it slow from now on.  Old hands keep seizing up on me.  finished red sparrow the other day.  Then finished another book that I just loved.  Need to Gilliam variant now.  I loved sparrow.  Or did i?  either way I ‘ll be reading book 2 in the trilogy.  And now my thumb isbleeding.  Time to turn out all the stops and just eat more triscuits.  Damn, how many cues can a man miss?! I need to be discreet about the sending.  94 points, right?  Picnic?  There was a picnic taking place in the scattered remains of unwanted children.  Briefly, he was there.  flashforward and back again to…  I don’t even know.  There was andrea but not a female.  How operatic of you I said, and then on your shores.  The lower floor.  One day a chance encounter that never took place. I believe I’m  a real boy. That reference should solve most things.  so little to say about this one.  it was just another.  Recommendations were made later on.  Thank you kindly.  The walls are closing in.  I need to get somewhere and I hope that giant and terrible manta rays looming large ahead will permit me to pass.  Over a year ago there were Sundays without rest and only a betrayal of hearts.  I stacked the deck against myself.  Now I type while looking over my shoulder.  I am unsane, that’s what I always need to remember.  No one deserves the agony of my presence. Went through it all and still can’t pinpoint where it all went wrong though I suppose it doesn’t matter.  The choices are the right ones.  No such craziness exits.  Just a motely assortment of folks who want his head.  And now The Most Violent again. Please let me see these.  The Little Star was already stolen away but The Most Violent…?  Electronic walls were keeping him in place and the clash felt so good in that moment and where is that waitress with my drink?  Terrific ass.  I don’t know what I would write on the card but it would surely be something brief with a failed attempt at wit.  I forgot to ask how the movie was but not really.  So many tones.  I would be jealous if s/he had a natural finish stringray.  Casual imagery.  Blue jeans.  Not Blue Jean.  Or maybe.  That one is rarely touched.  But I like.  What a beautiful rainy day.  Almost finished the.  They all hate me with good reason.  No point in asking for forgiveness.  The best way to truly ask is by absence.  That is the only legitimate way.  I need help with this because underneath everything I am absolutely awful.  X was great though.  I ain’t talkin’ about Mega  Man.  I’ve been letting the bastards grind me down.  I’m no acrobat, regrettably.  Need to head to the corner market and buy some limes.  With any luck I’ll encounter a Mexican prostitute.  There sure will be a lot of flowers in the coming month.  The lead is very good.  Makes me want to go out and purchase something pulpy and something pumpkin.  What time do I need to humiliate myself tomorrow?  All that horseshit goes on the backburner.  No, can’ t be like that anymore.  Can’t say things are looking up.  Or can i?  privacy is priceless to me.  or is it?  Happy travels young lovers.  I hope those plans were not too…what I’m trying to say is I hope everything is okay. Don’t settle.  My words have been entirely forgotten to everyone but myself.  The tenderness in the denouement was my favoritist part.  It was lovely and tender and honest.  



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