mill9(the third one sighs...lost...and I...tango)

It’s so comforting to know that the phrase “you are nothing” sounds just as sexually charged in any language.  I am so deeply turned on when a woman tells me this.  My mouth is dry which means I need more wine.  I love to love the alien.  What a rich statement.  I don’t know anything (why do we have to live in so much pain).  There was a little error back there.  my mouth tastes like shit. That was some bad chicken.  Choking the chicken though!  That was a great time!  he longs to lie down in sweetest sin.  He’s been indulging in all the bad things.  believing the strangest things.  of course I’ve been loving the alien.  That new green iteration brought to mind the silver in such a splendid way that those old ancient texts must all be gathered.  Of course the other day so much like that little bird but not little at all so bountiful; the bird and the fish and at some other point the war time nurse tending to the wound she herself inflicted in another lifeguise.  Everything that made the difference is so humble and thin. Had the sun been utilized the obsession would not have taken hold.  I saw all the plastics in a cardboard body and I needed it but it was not meant to be.  So many bad decisions.  Ah, but the topic at hand.  The k oriented fear.  It was like slipping on a warm glove whatever the hell that means.  It was comforting in its coldness.  The small bit of warmth always present, always welcome.  Is this the fewest amount of words I have to spill. Perhaps the mind wanders; the heart never fed.  I was laying down in sweetest sin again today.  I am setting up all the horrible elements of my own destructions.  I can still make this all right, I know I can, please let it be so.  Just need to buckle down (I know what’s right in life).  It’s an effective and stranger mechanism that always works (need a plurality on the previous one there) but the stairs denouement was a bit contrived.  Still, I’m always eager to continue just I continue to reinvest in the far more successful cousin of mysterious alphabet.  A square entry point right there in the middle of the stomach and shrouded over.  Oh so wonderful has been my time spent in the carpet.  But I so desperately need to return to another font.  I can feel it right now.  Obsessions take hold everywhere and multiple muses threaten to gleefully tear him apart (or course he wouldn’t have it any other way).  It would be a great double – the cousins – but of course this current iteration (that is, the chief subject in this chronology) would have to be the proverbial opener and perhaps in that way the introductory texts – which have served well in making even further introductions to contextual and fascinating outliers – could be rendered even more poignant.  Yes, I was so steeped in sin I could scarcely see what was happening, it all went by in a blur and the sunlight and the skin being peeled off, this happened somewhere in the same space, apart but there and in the same not too distant moment, the desire and the sin, and the sinful desire and everything spinning.  The One of Ice of the widow’s peak and the strength in her arms.  Everything is so degenerate these days and I suppose I have my part to play.  New creations blossoming.  The flesh is so weak and savory. What a lovely kick to the head.  Further iterations being explored; suckling from the great source, sometimes in full technicolor and sometimes and in the ancient pages.  There’s that classic doctor and his expression of love not yet expressed and though the skin has come off and I wonder what materials would be utilized.  Boy howdy this year has gone by fast and I’ve been listening to Lana and Mac a lot and it feels quite good.  Yes, so much has been eliminated for me and I must continue on that path.  Getting back to the central thesis: he enjoyed it but this particular entry faded so fast.  But again, the desire to travel on remains so something must have been made right?  There is the jackal and there is the one who looks like the jackal and they are both the bringers of joyous destruction; again, the obsessions taking hold.  And dreams of the back breaking. Must block things out of mind.  Everything must be blocked, it can be done though must acknowledge the enslavement to the body.  Oh how grotesque.  Dark lovely eyes.  Goes back to the face hidden.  The most violent.  Right there in the corner is where everything takes place and where the deepest desire lives.  You are nothing.  Sweet words.  And now he understands the depth of that special kiss.  And somehow that all goes back to the alien love.  There is turquoise.  No yes there is yes that sounds or looks or feels right and it is all connected now through the color blue and what was heard earlier (one by the pool) and yes this was the anthem of sin that he proudly sang through so many days.  Always through the mouth of course.  This was where it all began.  Always through the mouth.  And he was doomed forever more.  But such a doom of his liking.  Tomorrow I’ll make a long drive.  Or will i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  There will be many more iterations coming down the pike.  I’m speaking of course of the central thesis and I very much look forward to this despite the brevity of this current chapter.  But I am also speaking of that even four locale and the jackal and the little star and the most violent and so many others and the heart racing toxins and the transparency which controls everything.  He is very much looking forward to that as well just as it will surely destroy him.  She likes to undo.  A thousand punishments.  A thousand ways to torture.  A thousand ways to provoke submission.  This is obsession taking place.  Everything is going horribly wrong.  Need a rescuer but he tries to deny.  Reference beginning.