The Last Witch Hunter
and Steve Jobs come out on Friday and
I’m at a loss as to which I shall view first.
I had a strong desire to listen to the Jimi Hendrix Experience today so I woke up and promptly drank 9 cups of repulsive NesCafe (with cream and two lumps of sugar please and thank you) and went about listening to their indomitable trilogy of albums as many times in a row as I could muster. In a sense I feel I will always be listening these albums. As is so common with trilogies, I find the second one to be the best. I’m sure they receive their fair due – though anyone in that band was always going to be overshadowed by Hendrix’s fiery noodling – but I would like to say that bassist Noel Redding and drummer Mitch Mitchel are a fantastic and super skintight rhythm section. Redding in particular has long been a huge inspiration for me. I also appreciate the influence Hendrix had a vocalist as it is impossible to listen to folks like Bootsy Collins and Anthony Kiedis of Chilli Willi and the Red Hot Peppers sing and not hear Hendrix in every glistening note. I think I’ll listen to some Tom Waits later on; real greasy music, real oily. Then maybe I’ll go to IHOP and order some chocolate chip pancakes and a tall frosty glass of moo. And holy hot shit but the 1969 album Stand! by Sly and the Family Stone is one awesome piece of work! I recently learned the song Everyday People on the bass, Larry Graham is such a fucking whiz kid. And just think: it only took me a decade to learn a bass line that is literally the same note over and over the whole song. But damn is it ever a difficult note to play! Thanks for the memories Sly.
The new television program Supergirl premieres sometime this coming week and for the past several years now I’ve been grappling with myself over whether or not I should view this program. Initially I had no interest in it whatsoever as I sadly never warmed to the television format. Yet herein are a couple different lies because there are still literally thousands of shows I watch on a daily basis and I did have some interest in it because it relates to a superhero (although one that I’ve never been a huge fan of despite my love and adoration of Superman lore). Generally speaking I don’t think the superhero shows have been too great (excluding cartoons) though I have not yet seen Daredevil and Flash and Agent Carter both seemed okay. But stuff like Gotham is just so much hokey horseshit and I am constantly pissing my pants with fear that it will be another one of those. Then the preview came out and looked quite atrocious but then all this positive buzz came out afterward so what the hell is I saying then? I think I will record and then watch it 23 times in a row that I may finally formulate an opinion. What was the tipping you are no doubt screaming at the top of your iron lungs?! Well, it was the news that fan-favorite character Red Tornado was going to be making an appearance. I do appreciate that the show’s aesthetic seems unafraid to be unabashedly comic book like (similar to The Flash). And I like that the tone isn’t all dull and dark and maybe the show will capture that glorious feeling of drinking a freshly squeezed glass of lemonade. Its hip mythology so what the hell, I’ll give it a go! I’m always horrible about predicting success or lack thereof in TV shows and movies but I have a hard time seeing this be successful on CBS and will be shocked to the core if it lasts a full season and will have a massive heart attack if it gets a season 2. I guess they’re hoping for a SHIELD type of success thing, maybe, I don’t know. I think it would have been better to go to the CW where there is already Arrow, Flash and soon to be Legends of Tomorrow. But what the shit do I know?! That’s why I’m just a punk with a laptop and they’re the ones calling the shots. I have a darker, more sinister, more fetishized reason for watching this show but I dare not reveal it here and now. Maybe one day though. I will tell you in another life when we are both cats.
Like billions worldwide I saw the new and possibly final trailer for Star Wars The Force Awakens during a recent game of the always uninteresting American football. It looked bright and shiny and super well-polished and without much of any personal stamp to it which is oddly a hallmark of director J.J. Abrams but I’m not sure what to say or think. I frequently complain and moan (and groan!) over the state of blockbusters in this humble decade and I know it grows tiresome to everyone except myself because I love the sound of my own voice more than anything save for G2 which is easily the greatest drink ever known to man (though it is badly overrated). Still, I must speak: Does this new Star Wars flick not look exactly like the old ones only with updated special effects; replete with a trifecta of folks that can easily be equated to new versions of Luke, Han and Leia and a Darth Vader look and sound alike villain with his own death machine and storm troopers? Is repetition all anyone wants anymore with big flicks? Must every superhero movie be the same? Every epic fantasy? Every Star Wars romp? Is this it? This is the way the fucking world ends, look at this fucking shit we’re in man! Granted, I haven’t seen the movie yet and I hope I’m proven wrong. I can already hear some folks leaving the theatre saying it was the best movie ever made and I am happy they are happy but…is this all there is? Mindless, meaningless repetition. At this point I think the future standalone Star Wars flicks have a better chance of being more interesting than this new trilogy. That’s right! I’m that foolish internet person judging and slagging stuff before it’s released and spreading hate and discontent. I hide behind the sheen of computerdom because I am fat and ugly and impotent. I hate myself so much. Why don’t I just kill myself already?! Spare the world a lot of grief. Heck, I’ll still be there opening weekend though, ready and eager to give anyone head who has the courage to ask. If it’s good I’ll go back and watch it 17 times, bringing my plastic bucket along because you can’t watch a thrilling and bombastic space opera without a large Coke Classic and hot margarined popcorn with extra Epsom Salt! I do want to genuinely apologize to all the Wars fans out there. I don’t mean to be so damned negative. I hope this new trilogy makes you very happy. What does my opinion matter anyway? I’m just a pawn in a rough game. Just a stray.
I tried to save my shit but my shit keeps shitting.
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