Iller too

Pendejo!

So I recently watched the trailer for Star Trek Beyond and was entirely underwhelmed to the point where I seriously considered blowing my brains out right then and there.  No, I kid!  It wasn’t as bad as all that.  The flavor of the trailer actually reminded me most of Star Trek Insurrection which is one of my favorite Trek films.  Still, I can’t say it looked great and I think I must accept the fact that these new Trek movies are not for me. 

There are so many massive trailers set to premiere before Star Wars: The Force Awakens this Thursday that it’s not even remotely humorous.  It’s such a pity for yours falsely that almost none of these trailers seem to be advertising good movies!  I just have shit taste, that’s all.  You can go ahead and say it.    

I’ve been listening to a lot of Was (Not Was) recently and by a lot I mean very little though I think soon enough I shall be listening to them a lot.  They’re a bold new discovery on my part and it will be nice to take a break from Scott Walker for the time being.  Though of course when Bowie’s new album drops in January I suspect I will not be listening to anything else for at least a further 5 years (that’s all we’ve got!).

I finished The Flash season 1 at some point recently and feel safe in calling it one of the single most satisfying seasons of television I have ever had the pleasure of viewing.  Those who know me best know that Flash rogue Captain Cold is one of my all-time favorite villains and the writing for this character and his portrayal by Prison Break alum Wentworth Miller is so pitch perfect it makes me want to fling myself from the top of a skyscraper that my body may splatter on the pavement below!  I gave the highest props and kudos to all the talent involved.  I am now watching Breaking Bad finally.  The TV show format bothers me. 

Speaking of rap I still have not yet acquired Public Enemy’s recent live blu ray.  When I get it you best believe I’ll be bouncing around my living like I don’t have the sense I was born with.  

“Cool mama!”  You do not know what you are asking for!  Why was not I born in the 80’s I desperately wonder?  I also wonder why I was not born good looking.  I am such an ugly individual.  I keep running backwards up these hills. I’m never allowed to make any deals.  Good ol’ Kate, she never lets me down (and down and down and down).  Oh yes, I like lots and lots of makeup.  How I miss it so!  Egads, who is this mysterious man living in the hole in my wall?!  Good thing I drew on the wall with Crayola Crayons so I would not forget where he lives.  I think he talks to me at night and that is truly terrifying.  There’s my bottle of Jack!  Thanks heavens; I was sure I’d left it at the Laundromat!  Once again, hosiery, nothing compares to you!  Please don’t ever doubt yourself.  It’s still inside my brain and I can’t get it out and it’s doing things in there (please help me).  

I see now I have no choice but to watch La Nave de Los Monstruos seven times in a row today!  Oh Lorena, why?!  Then afterward I think I’ll watch Las Mujeres Panteras!  Oh Elizabeth!

Speaking of suckling on the glass teat I was as pleased as the proverbial pig rolling around in a steaming pile shit to view the preview for season 2 of Lucha Underground.  I’m throwing a Lucha themed party at my posh flat next month where we will marathon watch the first season in prep for this premiere!  Please RSVP at the resoundingly negative!  And don’t forget to bring a mask.  Oh, but I am pumped.  This show had the best wrestling in decades!  I miss you Sexy Star!  You have stolen my heart and seeing you in the preview made me want to postpone my grisly demise for another few months.  Me robaste el corazon!  Vuelvate mi ladrona!  Vuelvate!

Prince unexpectedly released a new album this week, some 3 months after his last release in September (he’s slowing down these days!).  Like a good boy (who swallows it all!) I am eagerly awaiting the physical copy and I will listen to it on repeat while in the streets and barking orders through a telephone to my underlings!  

I suddenly and without warning have an incredible urge to take my imaginary dog out for a four mile walk and afterward I think I’ll eat a chicken Caesar salad despite my utter contempt for salads.  A touch on the shoulder is so intimate.  Only a few more days until I can watch my favorite movie of all time. Maybe afterward I’ll throw myself in the river (which always reminds me of another river, especially when I am wearing my cowboy hat).  I think something is going to be awful.

I have feelings too you know and it hurts just as much when you trample all over them!   There’s a hive mind you see and everyone is a part of it.  What a bunch of dirty rotten scoundrels!  Marauders, the whole lot of them.  I oughta put on my Mickey Mouse style gloves and dance a ballet naked while guzzling down a frothy glass of NesQuik chocolate milk.  Then I think I’ll go outside and ride a flamingo to the moon.  Oh jeez, now I’m laughing hysterically and I don’t understand.  Maybe it’ll help things if I lick a little glass!  I’ve always had a fascination with glass ever since I was young boy (which incidentally is when I began to play the silver ball) and would often gaze longingly at windows for their beautiful clarity.  Good ol’ Gates!  Windows was a brilliant invention!  Yes, you guessed it: I’m of course talking about Gates McFadden who played Dr. Beverly Crusher on 6 seasons of Star Trek The Next Generation and 4 feature films!  I love trek so much.  It’s always there for me even I repeatedly fail to be there for it.  It’s all comes full circle you see. 

Please don’t tell me anymore about these magic discs!  I don’t think I could take another crushing disappoint.  Why is there so much scrambled egg in my field of vision?  I wonder sometimes about sound.  Well, that’s twenty dollars American currency I’ll never get back.  Still, the scissors.  Seriously.  Few things are more incredible to behold than scissors.  I am filled with envy.  I’m also filled with pudding but that’s another story for another millenium.

  
I have a great idea fellas: Let’s all go outside and enjoy the sunshine and eat ice cream and look at rainbows!  Then when we’re done we can come back inside and gorge ourselves on prescription pills! 

People call me a cynic but it’s only because they’ve never met my evil twin brother (we’ve been estranged since shortly after birth).  I think its way past time I drank a glass of ice cold water.  I’m so parched I could eat a horse!  First I delicately peeled back the layers of his mind and then I planted a post hypnotic suggestion that during the next lunar eclipse he would do everyone’s taxes with the same fervor and drive of a three legged cat learning to speak and then burping the alphabet.  My hands feel incredibly warm.  I don’t know where I slept last night but you can be damn sure it was not inside the rotting carcass of a dead animal!  

I’ve got to get away but I loved her!  Post script: I’m living in London (it rains everyday!).