gots to eat more powder, maybe then, and a big yellow book thing to study or whatever

I was listening to the song One Tree Hill by U2 (a personal fave of mine, both the song and the band) when it really solidified in my brain: I cannot truly count on anyone.  Everyone lets me down and I imagine that I let everyone down as well.  I was also listening to the album Una Pequena Parte Del Mundo by Amaral and a few Funkadelic albums that same day and this only helped me to grow more certain in this conclusion.  It is a shame that people are so gosh darn unreliable.  What flawed and ugly things we are.  How disgusting, our sexual desires and our bleeding hearts.  Upon returning home I probably watched a Dario Argento movie and drank a bottle of wine, maybe I ate a bowl of cereal though if I did I’m sure I ate it fast so as to maintain maximum crunchiness.  The next morning I likely had highly explosive diarrhea due to that rich combination of alcohol and milk.  Small pleasures, eh?  I’m still thinking about that book Revival that I mentioned in my last blog post.  What a fantastic read.  Make no mistake though: despite the fact that I watched an Argento flick, Lucio Fulci is still my favorite of those great, magnificent stylish Giallo directors and I only grow ever more certain of that with each miserable passing year of my pathetic excuse for a life.  Still, Argento does have a way with the leather gloves, fuck they always look so great through his lens.  I’m not sure if I’m going to read the book Chariot of the Gods but I think there is a distinct possibility.  I wonder if I could find a vintage copy?!  Perhaps if I start hunting through old bookstores.  Perhaps if I just build a cabin out in the woods and live off the land?!  Maybe then I’d be able to get over my deeply unhealthy obsession with Italian female bodybuilder Mavi Gioia?!  But she’s so pretty my inner voices scream at me!!!  She’s so pretty!!!  She is though.  I would never deny it.  She makes me weep.  Tears of joy.  Man, I love Pedro Bell’s artwork and it is a supremely important and indelible part of that mythology.  Man, would I pick Eddie Hazel as my favorite guitarist if someone was holding a loaded standard police issue Glock 9 millimeter handgun to my head and threatening to blow my brains out lest I make and vocally announce my choice?  I’m not sure but it’s definitely possible.  Hazel is a clear influence on John Frusciante though I would never even think of picking Frusciante as an answer to that question though I do greatly love (sometimes even adore) his many solo albums.  PBX Funicular Intaglio Zone might be favorite of those though I also love The Will to Death and Shadows Collide with People.  I can hear my mother call.  Actually, that was a lie.  I can’t hear anyone call right now.  That new Bon Iver album is kind of intriguing.  I heard that other new song by Metallica that just came out, Moth to a Flame or something like that.  I’m starting to feel a little bored by them.  Bored is such a piss weak criticism.  Thank You for letting me discover Scott Walker.  I crave detachment.  I’ll probably go blast Low or Lodger or Tilt or something and then watch a David Lynch movie.  Probably Lost Highway but maybe Eraserhead and I also have Inland Empire ready to go at a moment’s notice.  Boy, I’m a stupid and close minded individual.

I put some ice in my coffee.  A few years back Robert Crumb released an illustrated version of the book of Genesis.  It is a beautiful of piece of work.  I love Crumb’s art style.  Genesis continues to be one of the difficult books of the Bible to get through for me.  I recently read there are some who interpret a vision from the book of Ezekiel as something akin to a UFO sighting.  I shall investigate to see what popular opinion is on this.  Interesting.  What is dangerous?    

Deep Red is great.  I won’t deny that.  Though I think I may even prefer The Bird With the Crystal Plumage.  And Suspiria of course.  But those leather gloves.  Wow.  

Greg Rucka is one of my favorite comics writers ever (and I guess one of my favorite writers ever then, hmmm).  Certainly, it bears much more thought and consideration as to whether there needs to be a distinction.  I am looking so forward to reading his new storyarc on Wonder Woman as his run on that character from a decade or so ago is one of the all-time great comics runs in my estimation.  

Magic Moon went inside my mouth and I did nothing to prevent it.  Quite the contrary.  I guess a birthday was in order though and there was a band all wearing matching jackets and candles and cake and the denier was high and shiny.  Magic Moon was strangling me and there were tears heading down my face though I think I was smiling.  I’m not sure what joy existed behind it though.  

All these politics are twisting inside of us like bad oysters. What does that even mean? I’ve always said I think the majority of people should not vote because the majority of us are too stupid to really understand the choice we make.  Myself included of course.  I don’t know that I’ve talked to anyone this year who has a truly well informed opinion about the upcoming election or its candidates.  Hahaha, what am I saying?  I actually do know, of course I know: I have not.  

I think I’ll throw on my neon pink thong and go roller-skating for a little while, maybe grab a slice downtown afterward.  Blackout by Britney Spears is another great album like those I mentioned earlier which really captures that great sense of detachment and truly speaks to the enduring battle between man and machine.  It’s so cold.  Icy.  I wonder if the dogs are still digging up darkness at this hour?    

Man, I gotta catch up!  There’s just too much funk out there!  In good unrelated news I’ve been able to get my breathing under control every time those used pairs of hosiery are wrapped around my head.  It was getting scary there for a while. But sexy scary!  That’s my favorite kind of scary.  Actually my favorite kind is that really awful middle of the night, can’t sleep, absolutely terrified sick feeling in the pit of your stomach kind of scary.  But beggars can’t be choosers!  They can be losers though fortunately and that’s why I am both a beggar and a loser.  

For years now I’ve thought of myself chiefly as a surrogate father figure but to whom exactly I could not say.