Spend a lot of time with the most violent, the most
sadistic. It’s an obsession. I
recently finished Roadwork by Richard Bachman and loved it; one of my Bachman’s
finest. I recently jerked off and loved
it; one of my dick’s finest. Those last
two statements really have nothing to do with one another. I’m listening to the classic Rolling Stones’
album Let It Bleed whilst I write this.
I ate soup for lunch today. It
was so good that I enjoyed it. I think
I’m going to read a book soon. By that I
mean I’ll start a book. I scratched
everything away recently and realized there was nothing underneath. It is all so empty. Sick of people. I’m drinking more and more these days. Or am i?
the more I learn the less I want to know. I need to climb a ladder. If The Court of Owls rumors are true I think
that could make for a very interesting feature film. Though if it’s true that those rumors are not
true then I guess I don’t know what’ll happen.
It truly is anyone’s guess at this point. Almost time to turn out the lights but there
are several people talking about juice.
I betrayed my own principles today.
I’m used to it though, don’t worry.
Words fail me. weird to say you
love something and then to not spend any time invested in it. Oh what sad disgusting creatures we all
are. how undeserving we all are. Keaton is still the best Batman no
doubt. Have I said that I would rank
Affleck’s Batman (particularly in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice) right
alongside Bale’s? not necessarily his
Wayne mind you but his Batman. It seems
to be a sure thing that he won’t play that character in Matt Reeve’s upcoming
film but that’s okay too. Always curious
to see who’s next. Yes, each new bit of
news makes me more eager to see this Joker movie coming out. I need to rewatch The King of Comedy
soon. Did I think about shooting myself
in the diner? I like my coffee black, my
eggs runny and bacon crispy.
So little meaning behind it anymore. Yet in the moment it is everything. She was The Jackal again. She was The Jackal and yet not The
Jackal. She was reality tearing through
the seams. Two full hours of time. not sure if there was any resentment. Gotta start watching those old cartoons and
then barfing out my assessment. I ate a
slice of pizza earlier. I purchased
pills earlier. I’m looking a plastic
triceratops right now. Just focus on
what you have right now and don’t worry about the connectivity. Nothing really makes me happy anymore. The Jackal and then that master of so many
different languages. Everyone working
together. Always stealing when
leaning. I hope she plays the harmonica
next month. But I don’t know if there
are any applicable interludes. I just
can’t seem to drink you off my mind. I
feel so sorry for and so disgusted by all these ignorant wastes of life. I guess what’s here and now is all that
matters, yes? What arrogance. I wanted to see her in a white sleeveless
shirt. I wanted to run away with
him.
The classic Lynda Carter Wonder Woman while there
are dusty paperbacks down by my feet.
Blue cross. I still remember
where I was when I purchased Beggars Banquet.
It takes a nation of….
Seeing everything through the glass now. We are desperate to be seen. How have we convinced ourselves that it all
matters? Every insignificant moment of
our pathetic lives. We are the
collective braindead. Something green is
before my eyes now. Let’s replace passion
with obligation. Sex has no meaning for
him anymore (especially after research pierced all extremes of his sex). Why is flesh not exciting anymore? Farewell to the flesh. We are all so needy and vile. So much better without contact. We are so much more comfortable seeing and
living a life through the glass. The
majority of the time spent on nothing.
Our lives evaporate. Still always
the same as before. I guess I never
really knew anything. Where has all desire gone? Even as a new queen arrives all desire has
fled and there is nothing in its place.
How utterly proper (I think as my head goes light). Of course only just realizing that it was a
feminine explanation through a masculine voice.
Always rising to the top and all.
With twenty dollars American I could easily conquer the world. No, I can’t I say as I start to weep. Connections are being lost everywhere. Perhaps I’m wrong about everything. But no, there are admissions of failure and
sadness all around. I washed dishes
earlier. The carpet in this room is
beige. Tomorrow I’m going to….i don’t
know…whatever. Still like the queen,
yes? There are multiple queens at
play. And the dark of fire. Maybe the little star can return and save
me. why don’t I feel anything anymore? I was joking earlier of course.
I see now that electric blue is very much the color
of my room. Though earlier today things
were very much a disbelieving gray. I
would like to believe there are options for this sad place where no one cares
how you are but I know this is not true.
The dark of fire again. Is this
everything anymore? No, I don’t know
what’s happened but all feeling is going away. I guess that’s okay though. I texted someone about lunch earlier and then
could not stop laughing.
Maybe there’s time to reclaim something. No ,is that right? There was never really anything to begin
with. I don’t think I was every actually
here. I went swimming the other
day. maybe I should connect wires to
myself now. How sad, how needy. Always crashing. I detest humanity. Red faced.
There are no codes here. Back in
the day with the Mega Man gang we were all about codes. Do you remember when Megan gave you a kiss
from the window? There was a musician
nearby. I. he was trying to get her attention but she
couldn’t hear a word. Don’ t forget to
take the survey. She knows about the
buff.
Oh well, maybe it’ll be better later on but maybe
not. I really do like this album. And lots of other albums too. Exclamation mark. I’m not a wonderful person. but I’ve got problems.
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