YIR

You know what I liked?  I liked that thing that just popped up with the tiger and it was a darker sort of iteration but really that word is so useless these days but I was less of a jerk and more of a child for a while.  Of course just the other day he attempted to rediscover the loveliest of muses only to find that there was no possibility it was a sorta bittersweet thing though perhaps one day in the stacks of literature there will be a rediscovery.  It’s nice to be remembered, eh?  Oh who really gives a flying fuck?!  Seeing something glowing and glorious recently.  Not wearing skin.  The first thing has nothing to do with the second thing but he is saying goodbye to things that where steel.  Listening to peter Gabriel a lot lately.  And lots of other things.  and of course still the jackal who is not the jackal and horrible superficial obsession ruining everything but wait is obsession really the right word.  Read a really good book the other day and then I missed the celebration and he genuinely does feel bad about that but is this a danger of being too focused on something?  Oopies.  He is remembering that which was lost.  Cranberries.  Black cranberries.  Or some fucking thing.  Oopies.  Are you feeling okay?  What is going on here?  New year new—old fashioned the style. 

Of course just the other day the little star was returned to me and I was overjoyed and I thanked (did not finish sentence).  Of course, now I understand the hourly timetable and my heart is broken but also elated knowing it is not completely the end and I hope that one day if I am ill I will be ill in a very specific place.  Apropos of nothing I’m going to spoil my eventual list and say that Hereditary is probably my favorite movie of this miserable year.  But yes, the little start returned and angel and iconography and prior to this a stripped away wedding dress and….  

I was listening to some ted nugent albums recently.  Then I was driving around doing stupid shit.

Lets put it all in perspective.  I wont’ call it a failure but I can’t really call it a success either.  It’s somewhere in between but I think it’s set up for something greater the rhythm is everything now and I watched the thing the other day the thing with the thing (but not the thing) and there were many appendages playing drums and  you know I really thought it was more or less what I was looking for and that’s it and that’s enough. 

You know I guess sin really did win out this time. and by this time I’m talking about an extended period of time but that’s so predictable isn’t it?  Ah, of course, lets repeat things three times speaking of which I recently finished a book with a purple cover I don’t know if it was good actually I do know it was in fact very bad. 

Speaking of sin there was the one of ice today and that was everything.  Right down, that doesn’t even make sense but right in front and idle chit chat had me and was everything and ice was everything and now I see with the red on the peach or something or other and constant laughter hahaha and smiles hahaha and of course I don’t even know how to finish now there has to be something more to say but there is only a few periodic words and I realize this entirety the entire thing to which we are paying homage really is perfectly meaningless I mean mine is and of course there is the spring dress from so long ago which currently yields almost nothing but just the faintest hint is enough to last thousands of years and I am surviving on nearly nothing now but I am slave to this and have no choice but there is a precious decade which divides everything and why do I still feel everything man I am so bleeped up and awful.  Tee hee giggle chortle fuck fuck fuckity fuck man I’m stupid what a worthless bastard I am but whatever the fuck ever you know I was there for the presentations I saw it all and there was the Italian who wasn’t Italian and only one other person on this fucked planet understands that but I’m sure he’s long since forgotten but I could never forget the main subject here but I suppose I should oh whatever.  Brick wall waterfall magic wand be gone! 

And everything is neatly space out now and it begins with ice and always there is the jackal who is not the jackal and now who looks to be the main thrust of this upcoming new iteration and suddenly recently there was a thawing and why did that happen I don’t understand anything but still the same glorious thoughts remain and imagines the suffocation and it is everything and of course there is a beautiful seam traveling the length of things and it is wondrous.  Simultaneously is it true now that rhapsody in blue is no more but of course in the stars there is a continuance which will never end and or course this absolutely for the best and he I must be thankful but there will always be such yearning and regret.  It’s richly appropriate.  Little by little everything is going away and that may be the only way anything can be saved.  There is a new one just over the horizon, not far from the jackal who is not the jackal.  Of course all those lines of numbers still have me.  what does any of it mean?  But that’s not really the question I want to ask.  Another one down with nothing to show for it.  Seems appropriate I guess.  also, i love the new of tif and of course the aforementioned and the stripe.  

I read a book recently that I really liked and then afterward I read a book I didn’t like as much but I plan to read another book by the author of the former very soon.  I ate salmon earlier. 

I own two copies of AC DC’s 2000 album Stiff Upper Lip.  I think the reasons are obvious.