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I love the new Lana Del Rey song.  It arrived at a pivotal and necessary point.  I spent much of the day sinning.  Now I’m going to drink heavily, engaging in more sin.  I hope I can finish a book tomorrow or the next day.  I also hope to watch a movie about Nico soon.  It was Scott Walker’s birthday.  I do so love his music and hope he releases another album.  24/7 Sylvia Plath.  Great line amongst many.  I’ve been forgetting to listen to Pantera lately.  I’m pleased that No Line on the Horizon is set to be released in wax.  For some reason I can’t articulate because I’m a piss poor writer that album has held a special place for me.  I love Bowie’s song Heat.  It’s a perfect bridge to Scott.  I adore the back and forth those two had throughout their careers.  Thank goodness I still have some of that eggnog left for when this whiskey runs out.  I cooked up several hamburgers today and was so brazen that I even ate one.  I looked and looked later on but could not find what I wanted.

How did it manifest itself today?  We all know the story.  Hands numb and then shaking or vice versa.  Thought about and fantasized about and turning blue.  So much ink all over the place, in a tight homicidal embrace and down my throat and later kissing my lips and then gloriously stabbing me in the back.  Focusing on two and becoming one, a replacement and the jackal who isn’t the jackal though of course in the end it was the actual jackal who properly set things off; another lethal embrace. 

I’ve got a fever of five thousand and three.  More sinning today. All adding up now.  Whatever the fuck ever.  Just adding to the collection already established.  Just wanna listen to music or something right now.  I watched From Dusk til Dawn a lot as a teenager.  This wine is really hitting me hard.  I already know that tomorrow is going to be a wasted day.

I just watched the movie Nico, 1988 and really liked it.  I love the album The Marble Index.  Also, on the Velvet Underground’s first album I find Nico’s songs far far far more interesting than any of the other tunes.  You  know, speaking of movies: Tommy Lee Jones performance in Natural Born Killers is just so great.  So fucking great! 

I suppose I’m something of a fetishist but who can really be sure anything these days?  Pantyhose encasement …oops, made a mess right there.  it’s a shame I don’t have more money.  It’s a shame I’m such a nobody.  I need to keep reading doom patrol comic books tomorrow.  And pump iron!  Working out is my life!  That new one…Diana looks stunning.  I love the green.  It reminds me of shocked electrocution (didn’t even break a…) and the thing, I think it’s like a deep blue or maybe purple but it sets the pony into motion.  He needs to start saving up his pennies so the exact specifications can be matched.  Watched children of men recently.  I still feel y tu mama tambie is alfonso cuaron’s finest film; just a beautiful beautiful piece of art.  Roma would probably be next.  I’m looking forward to reading Thomas Harris’s next book but I’m not sure if I mentioned that already.  It’s been awhile.  I think one day I’ll probably be traveling through a forest that is slowly turning into crystal. I would like to eat cereal soon but who knows what this ever uncertain future may bring?  I’ll probably go to a bar and read and drink soon.  I’m on a good streak though.  Hot damn, I may pull my name out of the gutter yet!  I may yet pull my ass out of the dirt!  What was I listening to the other day?  that’s right, now I remember!  I was listening to the album Te Atrapare…Bandido by Ana Barbara.  It is a very sweet grupero pop album.  I’ve always felt that Barbara’s voice is aural honey and this particular album showcases very sharp and romantic pop writing which takes advantage of that voice.  I’ve also been listening to Monica Naranjo’s album Tarantula and David Bowie’s album Aladdin Sane.  I love them both.  I now remember back in the day I was going to purchase the Ana Barbara compilation Para ti…Mi historia but I never pulled the trigger on this desire!  I didn’t have the guts!  I didn’t have the balls!  Let’s just face it: I didn’t have the chops!  I couldn’t cut the mustard!  And now it may be too late forever til the end of my miserable utterly worthless life!  I can still recall where I was when I purchased Tarantula and Aladdin Sane.  There are several songs from Aladdin Sane I am attempting to learn on the electric bass but I’m sure I’ll fail because I’m a loser. 

I watched Jennifer Lynch’s movie Hisss last night and rather enjoyed it.  It made me want to seek out like minded, the documentary about the making of the film and more movies with the actress who played the snake goddess.  I plan to purchase the move on the very outdated dvd format and watch it over and over during lonely nights.  Sometime afterward I’ll jump into the river (too many times to make it home).  When I’m dead things will be much better.  I ate a hot dog recently.  I’m also almost finished with the book I’m reading.  Maybe I’ll finish it in a well lit area later on tonight.  But yeah, Hisss, I really enjoyed it.  What else can I possibly say on the matter?  Tomorrow is going to be a wasted day.  and yet, I know but I’m not sure but I actually know I’ll be seeking out the jackal who is not the jackal but maybe just maybe resistance is in the air and it doesn’t have to be like the other times; oh sweet suffocation. if only after a long hard day or reporting the news she would use my face as her personal footrest.  

I miss watching GLOW.  I miss being someone with potential.  Those two things aren’t really related.  I hope I can sleep well tonight.  Maybe I’ll rewatch the entire GLOW series before bed!