Mind on fire. That reminds me of the song house on fire by alice cooper. I love that song. Trash is an album. I really like that one live version I found on youtube. Ugh, I realize now how I’ve wasted everything. I am a complete and utter failure. Better to get out the most potent telling now before things have a chance to normalize. Nightingale last night. With whiskey. I thankfully loved. Reminded me of these same great folk alongside the paleontologist. Maybe need to read a history book. Probably not before windmills though. Need to read big books. I’ve blown it all. Can’t relate to anyone. Too much hate coursing through me. Predominantly hate for myself of course. For how I’ve fucked it all up. Rubberband ball to the left of me. Reminds me of a specific type of gal. maybe that’s what I need right now. I need to eat something. Gate nine. Need to bid on that first edition of Frankenstein. I feel so horrible but it’s only because I’m such a damn loser, such a worthless failure. I banged my head against the desk several times the other day and it made me feel dizzy. Need to switch coffee brands. This one isn’t waking me up anymore. I’m so sick of your shit. Airport fantasies. Listening to mark knopfler the other day. Time to wipe the slate clean? I wasted this life. I fucked it all up. No one’s fault but my own. I am so unbelievably worthless. Everything around me is so fucking ugly. How do people accept this? How do they just say, yep, this is enough, this is a resounding success? It’s inconceivable. Opened a new bottle last night, pretty good. Going to have a busy day of sun but not a busy day of sat. why don’t I just drink poison? I can’t make the hardware purchase because I am too scared of temptation. I hate myself so much. I am my least favorite person. Isn’t that funny? Been really been digging the classic universal monster movies. They are just so good. The pure iconography. All the star addled conversations as of late. Just resent myself like crazy. There is literally no part of myself that is good. It is all shit. I’m not very good at all. Lovely thoughts but so untrue. There is loveliness somewhere but it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Found the Italian identity; so glorious, so wonderful. I’ve been applying brisk refreshing aftershave liberally for much of my stupid life. My face is so fucking ugly. My body is also repulsive. And the metaphorical inside, my hear and soul, are truly foul. All in all I’m just a very repugnant human being. Everything lacks meaning. I love signs. Was talking to a man of signs recently. I’m committed to being in a pissy mood all day. I have hunger. I ate a lot of fruit yesterday. His house was favorite from this years batch and I found it worked great on multiple levels. More like this please. Stack of books nearby. Waiting on any movement from a little star. Not difficult to see the patterns. No one else to blame except myself for any pattern related subjugation. Used to be the exception says an analyst. Not sure where my judgment lies or where it should lie? Nothing adds up anymore. Too much of a disparity. My mind can’t grasp or reconcile these contradictions. Or can it? The more I learn the less I want to know. Wanna read about vampires soon (but not too soon). Lost control the other day. Inhaled laundry detergent. I’m so stupid I’m so stupid I’m so stupid. Love that book against nature. The Portuguese actress from the feature film I watched last night was lovely. My hometown is ice cream. Have you forgotten about me? It doesn’t make any sense. None of it does. I was sent a blue photograph the other day that made my heart skip a beat. Or was i? the more I learn the less I want to know. No, I definitely was. Breathless. Braille. That’s what the blue resulted in the other night. Braille all over again that was first brought about by mermaids. Need more books on goddesses. Need to reread final crisis cause I didn’t understand a motherfucking MOTHERFUCKING thing. See how minimal the words are once federal reserve notes have fulfilled their destiny? Way too obvious. I’ve lost all ability to obfuscate and that was perhaps the most precious ability of them all. Also, I really hate myself. My time is certainly not valuable and that is proven every day in an abundance of different ways. I’D LIKE TO TOUCH YOU, BABY! Quick, where are my red vinyl pants?! loving a little life so far. i ate half a sandwich for lunch the other day.
I feel so awful. I’m
such an awful person. Why do you hate me
so much?! Why do you hate me so
much?! Oh, wait, I know why, it’s
because I’m an awful piece of shit; a real waste of life. Hahaha, I love the ignorance around me. But I’m also incredibly ignorant too
hahaha. Need to watch a martial arts movie
soon. Need to read about lucia
soon. Good thing I never procured the
hardware or I might be ending myself. Melodies
no longer have me. Nothing words
anymore. Just want to be asleep. Odd, I feel awful all over. Oh well, no big loss. THE REVELATION. I’m saying that in a real scratchy
voice. Octopus. I know which connection I should cut. It’s all my fault. Turquoise falling down on my lovely vehicle
though a reflection of myself on the window would be awful because I am
incredibly ugly. Where’s my
tambourine? Around the world…. Nothing works anymore. Thank you for being so nice. Sorry that you were tainted by my existence. I need
to move. There’s too many goddamn big
monsters. Kaijus are the only thing that
make me feel good anymore. And being
asleep. When I’m asleep it’s almost like
I’m not me and I love that feeling. My great
mistake is existing. Wow, I am such a
worthless fucking individual. It legitimately
hurts how much I hate myself. I can
actually taste it. I can taste my own
self hatred. And I can feel it too, it
makes my fat ugly head hurt. I hate
myself so much because I’m a fucking ugly worthless individual. It’s richly deserved. I’ve never done a single worthwhile
thing. All my fault of course.
In a sense I was wearing a corduroy jacket this
morning. Or was I? the more I learn the
less I want to know.
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