Thank goodness for the
album with the pink cover. I remember exactly where I bought it. So
many years ago, a special order. The one without the metaphorical voice
commented that it was a cute cover. I view it as a trilogy with one
before with a green cover and one after with a more natural
finish. All 3 are spectacular. between sea and
stars this morning. Although now the word “this” does not totally
apply. i need to buy a box of Cap'n Crunch cereal asap.
Or do I? the more i learn the less i want to know! no, i definitely do.
Along with a big frosty carton of soy milk! cause cows are for calves! i
put on a Godzilla movie last night.
Shin. i love Godzilla films.
I remember watching this one at the cinema years ago. Got to remember the
pits as i venture downtown today. the pits that offer eternal life.
i'd forgotten about my love of Greg. get down to the grit here. Of
course that leads to the question of love. i was listening to
an old Jennifer Lopez album the other day and it reminded me of something. in
some ways it reminded me what a worthless person i've been for most of my
life. Auditing is a passion that many foster during their
childhood.
Yes, to die in her arms. That kind of
relates to something above. My death trail leaving a question mark
in the snow. Die in her arms. But not the
successor. No, someone else I previously just mentioned. From
a dream the other day. Two dreams. First one, so peaceful. Waking
up. So lovely. And I realized I’ve never truly felt
happiness in waking life. Such a sweet smile. You’re the only
one I can ever believe who tells me not to cry.
Sounds so sweet. Especially at
the end, higher up.
i feel so detached from everything.
there's a thick pane of glass and i can see what i'm supposed to be feeling at
every given moment and i'm able to gamely replicate human emotion in most
situations but so i often i simply feel nothing (save for self-loathing, richly
deserved). I’m a big Thalia fan but that may have been obvious from
things I was saying earlier. Sometimes it’s the only thing that
makes me feel good.
i just saw a photograph which revealed that soon
a music video will premiere in which Shakira is wearing fishnet hosiery.
so for a brief time my life will have splendid meaning again. i am such a
colossal fuckup. Also, I’m a complete failure.
life is so sad. i was listening to john
william's score for the empire strikes back recently. or was i? the more
i learn the less i want to know. no, i definitely was. i noticed i
really like yoda's theme. i like the selection of paintings for offices.
my wrist hurts. feel awfully depressed this morning. life is so
sad. life is so sad. i think i'm going to finish a book
today. i watched a shit film last night. i see now the masks give
the illusion of beauty. already, my pea sized brain normalized something
quite dire. dire in the sense that it is another chapter in the
interminable saga of failure that is me. no, still looking for
inspiration. nothing quite right. i see now. it is good that
intense things often come to an end very quickly. stark control by the
jackal who is not the jackal. ah yes, that was the moniker. and is
it possible one is now superseding the other? very much in the
prime. i feel so horrible, so incredibly depressed. grey inside of
me everywhere. i wonder if anyone else can see it. please, why do
so many people have to talk to me? damned. at the top, watch your
step. it went too perfectly. one of the greatest shapes he'd ever
seen. and black like liquid. this was true glory. and later on the
replacement. and the rhapsody in blue. yes, it is all coming back
to him.
The other day Adamari was wearing hosiery and it
made everything right again. Fire. I couldn’t
concentrate. Couldn’t think about anything else. Oh
please please after a hard day of reporting on current world events and
celebrity news please use my face as your personal footrest! Please
force that on me while laughing at me and berating me. Smash my face
with those glorious aromatic hosiery clad soles until I’m unable to breathe! Perfume
of the gods! Make me bow down and worship. Make me beg
for forgiveness! Demand kisses in supplication!
and then i realized how brilliant it is - the
stylistic placement of the last 2 songs on that album, culminating in
Rosalinda. Because prior to this the entire disc was one glorious sugar
rush; glorious slabs of Latin pop and then state of the art turn of the century
Eurotrash! It's fantastic and gregariously glossy stuff but it's all so
overwhelming, by the time i'm at that one song based on another famous
intercontinental thing i'm good and spent (though i adore that song) so the
last couple are lovely gentle caresses.
Also, I’m a big fan of the move
Blackhat. Love that film.
I read Batman Catwoman #1
yesterday. I read some other stuff too. Fado before
bed. As one without a metaphorical voice once said it is like the
melody is being provided by something other than…. Yes, I remember
that statement. Bookend of sorts. I was in the backseat of a
car while it rained outside and that felt just right.
I’m such a sad man. I mean in the
sense that I’m a pathetic individual. Fallen
relatable. People need to realize that because something is dark does
not make it mature or intelligent. Or do they?! The more
I learn the less I want to know.
It was the dancing episode. I
remember it all clear. Shiny. Oh God, the
denier. Then she spoke to me. I made her laugh. I hate
myself so much but maybe in that second I did not hate myself as much.
anytime a there's Glamissima video with Sara my
day - no, my entire fucking life - for a moment, is actually worth a
damn. She's everything.
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