Turbines to speed

Recently – so recent it practically hasn’t even happened yet – I listened to Kylie Minogue’s new song Into the Blue.  This is set to be the first single from her new album which is to be released sometime this year.  Those who pay close attention to my work here know I am a massive Kylie fan and consider her 2010 release Aphrodite one of my all-time favorite pop albums.  She is an exceedingly rare pop artist in the sense her work only seems to be getting better with time.  I must say this new song almost melted my face off with its shimmering, incandescent splendor and gave me much the same feeling as when I heard All the Lovers for the first time those many years ago.  If the album is up to this standard I will no doubt drink myself into a stupor in order to contain my zeal!

Time for some micro reviews to keep things fresh and fruity!  Here are a couple of movies I meant to watch in 2013 but never did for various reasons.  Both are sort of in the horror genre so I thought it made perfect sense to pair them up here – like a pair of fatted calves being led to slaughter. 

You’re Next: This movie received so much acclaim and hype around the festival circuit I was prepared to despise it with every fiber of my being yet in the end I found I rather liked it.  The premise is simple: a family is having a reunion out at a large home in the woods where they are then murdered one by one in gruesome fashion.  This feels like a combination throwback to old school slasher movies and self-referential Scream type horror.  Though it is not difficult (and perhaps not supposed to be) to figure out who is doing this and why there are still enough jumps and surprises to keep the momentum going.  There’s also a generous amount of gore for all you blood thirsty fiends (though honestly, I am almost never satisfied by the gore quotient in movies, there is always room for more).  I find this movie is one best watched with a friend(s) for maximum enjoyment.  Great bloody weekend entertainment and worth a rental.

American Mary: Another movie which received a great deal of hype and another one I enjoyed.  The titular character is a financial flailing medical student who through a stroke of (good or bad?) luck finds she can make a great deal of money performing illegal surgeries and body modifications.  Naturally things don’t quite go as smooth as she would like, particularly once a little revenge gets thrown into the mix.  The set-up is fantastic but the overall execution is a bit contrived, never quite reaching its full potential.   It is ultimately an engaging and memorable narrative but the nagging feeling of “could have been more” keeps it at a mere hearty rental.  Still, Katherine Isabelle gives a stirring performance and brings a complexity to the role I’m not sure was necessarily present on the pages of the screenplay.  She is also so attractive that I have since been having fantasies aplenty where she is performing all manner of horrific and unrequested surgeries on me; it is all worth it because I can see her smiling face before and after the alterations.  I was elated to learn only hours later this actress was cast as Margot Verger (a very interesting character) in the TV show Hannibal.  I am curious as a 17 legged cat to see how this part plays into this iteration of the mythology. 

Speaking of which, the trailer for the second season of Hannibal went online early Sunday morning and I watched it no less than 5,977 times over the course of that humble Sabbath.  I will keep singing this shows praises until it disappoints me – which TV shows are generally designed to do – and then I will do nothing but talk about what absolute slop it is.  However, for the time being it is still a thing of pure greatness and this preview of season 2 left me quivering in delight and moaning in ecstasy. 

I hate you.  I hate you more than I ever thought it was possible to hate anyone.  You are the most vile, disgusting person I have ever known.  You are a fucking worthless disgrace as a person, a spouse, a parent, just completely fucking useless.  Every year you find a new way to ruin this just like you ruin every other day, just like you ruin anything you come into contact with.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to be you and to wake up and look in the mirror and realize what a monumental sack of shit you are.  All those times you were standing at the tops of the stairs…and all those times I wished you would just rot in hell. 

My blu ray purchases for the week so far only include Machete Kills but surely I can find some other trashy thing on which I can blow my rent money.  No NEWly released music purchases spring to mind but there are definitely a couple older releases – namely Bob Dylan and Ghostface Killah – which warrant a purchase. 

Realizing how late I am to the game and that everyone in the world save yours truly has read this book, I started Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn yesterday and read the first 53 pages which I found largely engrossing.  Despite how drawn in I was by the story I may have to take a break from this novel for personal reasons and read something else first.  

Faithful readers, you may recall last week or the week before I discussed the premiere single Can’t Remember to Forget You featuring Rihanna from Shakira’s new upcoming album.  I wrote about my anticipation slash trepidation as well as other things regarding the Colombian songstress.  Savvy folk will note the song has been out for a week now yet my comprehensive review has not burst forth into the unsuspecting world.  Despite all you kind faced ladies and gentlemen foaming at the mouth after having waited years for my thoughts I must postpone that review just a bit more.  However my reasoning behind its mention in this post is due to a Spanish version of the song being released today entitled Nunca Me Acuerda de Olvidarte.  This is standard for Shakira who will often release a Spanish version of English singles for the lovely Latin markets.  But what separates this even further is the complete exclusion of Rihanna, meaning this version is 100% Shak.  I plan to post my thoughts on this release once the music video is out.  Soon my puppets…soon….  

I was overjoyed and undersexed the other day when I learned that at long last – after decades of waiting – the 1960’s Batman TV series would finally be arriving on digital video disc!  For untold centuries now the series has been tied up in copyright issues and company ownership and a whole hooplah of red tape but due some unforeseen miracle those issues have departed.  Upon its release I will hitchhike down to ye olde conglomerate and make purchase with plastic and then have a marathon where I watch all 120 episodes (as well as the feature film which was released shortly after season 1 finished).  I plan on this involving a drinking game where I will take a shot of El Sauza Tequila every time something awesome happens – which will pretty much be every time Adam West is on screen.  I think I’ll also take bathsalts and inject china white heroin in between my toes while watching just to make the experience more psychedelic.  Such is the nature of wisdom. 

I always wondered if I would have the courage to part the sea if it came down to it.