A hug before you go Part 1

A car salesman’s voice announces it is my turn.  One of them steps down and we do not a say a word to each other.  It’s much easier to avoid any communication with her than it was even just a few weeks ago.  She takes longer than necessary to collect her tips.  I glance at the bills – some lying sweat stained and crumpled on the wooden floor and some clasped in her hand – and I know there cannot be more than twenty dollars there.  I smile because I am sure I can get more than that.  She sees the smile but does not return it and I hope she knows what I am thinking. 

I’m on my knees now and my back actually hurts more in this position than when I am on the pole.  A fat sloppy one is right in front of me.  He has an orange hat on and a t-shirt with the American flag.  He is smiling and there is so much satisfaction there.  He is not ugly enough to never receive any attention and he has tipped almost nothing despite sitting through 3 different girls.  All the same, I fondle my breasts and merrily spread my legs, my thong is still on but I run my finger up my pussy and give him a quick eyebrow raise.  These lights are flickering so fast.  There are so many ugly ones here tonight and that can mean a very profitable evening.  I think I want to go home and eat something or maybe I want to sleep, I’m not sure.  They love to watch me touch myself.  Sometimes I practice in front of a mirror.

Here is one who loves my tits and I finger them and pinch my nipples and balance a few dollar bills on top of them.  I am smiling and when he laughs I laugh to and he throws a few more dollars my way.  There is one next to him who could possibly fall in love and his eyes are so sad and pathetic and I will ask if he wants a dance once my set is over and if he says yes once he will say yes at least four more times.  I am sweet and maternal and kind.  I bend over in front of and stick a hand between my legs.  I swing around and there is glee.  I am a gymnast and I am graceful and everyone is in awe.  I used to love dancing when I was a little girl.  I loved dancing and I loved my stuffed bear Jimmy.  He was purple and my mom bought him for me.  Sometimes I love when they love me.  How long has it been since a woman has touched you?  Jesus.  She came home one day after work and gave him to me.  But I always think of you dad.  In the backroom I set about cleaning myself.  I touch my crotch and ass and bring my fingers up to my nose and they smell like him and sweat and I laugh a little.  I strip down all the way and rinse and perfume myself and I put my underwear back on.  Jesus, panties is such a stupid fucking word, who said that? 

There’s that voice again.  I don’t have to ask many before I get the right answer.  God when is it going to kick in?  I sit on his lap and say some stupid thing in the same moment.  I’m not even sure what I say but it’s all some variation on him needing some company or the girls here being so welcoming.  He grunts when I put all my weight on him and puts his hand on my back.  His hand is warm and clammy.  He smells sterile, he smells like aftershave and bleach.  My mommy and daddy are somewhere else, my sister too.  I met a guy last week and we had a drink and we fucked later that night and then I never texted him and he never texted me and he made a very feminine noise when he came and I hadn’t finished yet but this distracted me.  Oh God I hope I have more because the one I took earlier is not making me feel any better maybe Alicia has some.  I think I took four, I can take another.  I’m on fire.  I still have to pay the house. 

I shove my tits in his face and shake them back and forth and when I pull back I tilt my head down and give him that pleased smile they love so much.  He returns my smile with one of deep satisfaction and I can feel just the slightest inkling of an erection.  He likes to see me pleased and believe he is the one making it happen.  I turn over and grind my ass into his dick and flip my hair around – God I hate this fucking song oh who really gives a fuck though and this idiot could spread his fucking feet just a little farther apart to make this easier what was that show I watched the other day I’d like to see more and maybe read a little I am the best here.  I turn my head and let out a gentle girly sigh of satisfaction.  He is much harder now and I bounce up and down in accordance with the beat.  I am the one you love.  Your smell is on me like so many others but you love me now just like everyone else does you want to fuck me but we’ll go this far and I will sleep later and I love these lights.  He loses his erection after a few seconds but I grind just as hard as ever and then I stand up and my pussy is right in his face and he breathes deep and exhales and I feel his breathe right there in my center and I have so much energy and I can see at least three others who would want this.  Where is everybody?   I need to stop by the store later. 

In this moment I love you so much and I can feel that you really love me.  No, I’m not thinking of you, I’m thinking of him, how long have we known each other?  Does it even matter?  It doesn’t matter at all he’s different in a weird way and we’re going to go away.  I love you too though, look how easy you are, I’m starting to feel better too.  The music is so loud tonight but it doesn’t really bother me.  I don’t have to listen to your voice if the music is loud enough.  I have to register by Thursday.  This one doesn’t need any tricks or stupid little flirty remarks and he doesn’t need me to laugh at his jokes.  He just wants me to grind my ass against his cock and he likes to smell my hair.  He pinches but who really cares?  They sometimes tip more if they pinch.  Should I give him my card afterwards?  He seems nice enough, maybe I will.  It doesn’t matter.  I have appointments with Jason and whatever the fuck his name is for Friday afternoon. 

He tells me I’m beautiful and it’s easy to feel nothing but it’s easier to feel how funny and sid that is.  You actually pay for something like this but I will happily take your money for so little work.  Oh no, this one does need me to talk and laugh.  Maybe I can get a drink out of it though.  I’m not sure which line I use: the one about my shoes or the one about the color in my hair or my tattoos or maybe I talk about the friend or family member which lives in the same city where he’s from.  I would love to go home and sleep right now.  You have not showered today.  His eyes look familiar, I am made of gold.  The others are laughing and I join in, I won’t remember him later on or maybe I will.