Need to get Africa though, keep forgetting (all my miserable life)!

I think I am going to make that decision, doubling down in a patchy sorta way.  I really shoulda oughta try it.  I still need to get my grubby soiled hands on a crisp copy of that black and white Italian vampire flick with all the ballerinas.  That film is a very rich piece of work.  I’m not actually worried about it.  In fact I don’t worry about nothin’ because worrying’s a waste of fuckin time!  I was quoting a jaunty red headed fella there. I was not referencing that Italian flick in reference to not worrying though.  Rather, I was talking about an upcoming viewership experience.  I suppose I enjoy making up my own damn mind (while never sipping on a margarita because I honestly don’t like those at all).  I am very aware that I often like or love things that are reviled.  So it sort of gives me hope.  Maybe it can be something loud and garish and gaudy and gauche and colorful.  I think I could possibly like that but what the hell do I know?  I’m just a day-trader.  Let me take you to an ATM and we can all go home afterward.  An ATM?  Do you has any idea how crazy you sound right now?  The nature of things, no, no, the nature of me.  Cormac totally ripped off that character’s penchant for coin flipping though I guess I would agree with Jones that he’s not a simple minded writer (maybe).  But damn, Blood Meridian was a slog.  I know what you’ll all say: I’m just too ignorant and degenerate to get it.  maybe that’s true.  But my intent was just.  And my heart pure.  That white Precision is quite great.  I am so glad Duff is back.  I would not entertain the possibility if Duff was not there.  I’m not joking either.  His tone is absolute perfection, one of my all time faves and things would not be the same at all without him.  It’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces.  It appears I may have to return to that dance once more.  Opposite genders in play during the same scenario.  It all works very well.  You are in a suit or in a dress.  If a suit, the tie is very thick.  accents all around though.  How richly appropriate, I think as my head goes light.  

In the heart of Saturday night I lost myself.  Can you relate?  I think I was having dinner somewhere by the beach but now I am not so sure.  No, deep down I know the truth.  Memory is a tricky and wonderful thing.  Was everything green in those moments?  There has to be genuine happiness somewhere if you search yourself.  Why do you guard things like this?  There is no truth to it anymore and that has to be confronted.  No, it doesn’t.  you can lock that all up.  Forever.  This can be made real.  It exists and will exist for as long as you do.  And then when you are gone it will simply crumble to dust and disappear and no one will ever know the different.  You keep alive for the time being though and it is more real than almost anything else around you.  

I think I mostly approved.  All that sexual tension though?  Not necessary.  So lopsided is the result.  Your voice sounds great.  Lets get to work.  Ah, filter tanks.  Partition.  I don’t think I’ve ever used the word partition in a conversation.  Ever.  Why do partitions exist?  I should be working in a factory that makes playing cards.  Can’t really think very well right now.  I am not the ringleader, please do not come any closer to me.  I am in agreement though.  All that struggling, all the pain, so pointless.  Everything.  just a gag.  There is blood coming out of my eyes and my mouth right now.  Itching all over.  I just came to talk though.  I’ve been thinking so much lately.  

Yes, I think that spot in Italy will do nicely.  Many happy returns and so on and so forth.  People only notice a glaring absence.  A rather frightening emptiness though they could not say for certain what previously occupied that space.  Does it matter? We end where we begin, standing there in the rain and someone’s hands are around my throat.  I cannot make out who it was but – like everything else – it does not matter.  

We’re in a funhouse together now and it is strange to realize some people are afraid of you.  someone cursed me and I was taken away from you.  that last sentence meant nothing.  People are afraid when they see you are afraid.  I looked right at you in that dream and I could tell you were very unnerved and this made me feel even more awful.  everyone still insists on talking to me and I have no idea why. There is no cure.  I recall the way she touched her lover and it was tender and when she spoke the words were awful and there was death all around.  We’re all being played with and it is going to be very shocking when we realize the absolute meaninglessness inherent in our desires.  

Running out of ways to….  Punishment never comes.  These embraces should not be taking place.  Don’t prove your point inside of me.  We’re lost and terrible.  Must we pretend there is a point to all this?  All you care about is all those zeroes.  Your bones are breaking and your skin is tearing as that repulsive creature inside of you struggles to get out.  Puke your guts out now.   Curtains is such a lovely word.  Maybe when I’m laying alone in the dark.  My laugh sounded much worse than everyone else’s, right?  I am glad she did not see him waiting there in the night.  I think people are not going to understand where he went.  but he will be gone. Just the same.  

Ah, the vampire’s coffin.  But who are you?  The glitter.  The seams.  Why do you do this to me?  

I know I am in the minority but I did not like Stranger Things.