please let me stay in this...but no one would ever say goodbye to me that way....

One planet over and this could all be over for us.  this is the goldilocks zone and we’re just sitting on our asses eating our curds and whey.  I felt myself dripping from the end of a gun the other day.  I wonder if I am happy on that planet?  Though it is much more comforting to consider my lack of existence on this theoretical worlds.  Let’s keep a sharp eye open if any of those words were a bit too yellow.  Let’s also be careful about opening up that salon in place of a diner.  You already guessed at the truth.  I suppose it was not too cleverly concealed, eh?  

Don’t believe in yourself.  These are the greatest words I’ve ever heard.  Still, as I’ve previously advised one must be very careful in researching these particular symbols.  It sometimes feels like I am sinking but I know this is not the case.  At that speed I realized it was impossible to focus on anything positive.  There did not exist a single emotion which was not mired in something dark and ugly.  It was just a matter of time I suppose.   Maybe I just need something else to cling to.  

I do so admire that copper top and did not even realize at first how it recalled those great excursions on those inspirational European streets so many years ago.  Risky business wearing the flag but when done with aplomb it cannot be denied.  And all those tits and explosions.  Such a stuttering thing there but it really captures the stark insanity going on inside all of us, does it not?  Yes, I love it. I love it so. Late period greatness.  Or maybe mid period greatness.  I’m never quite sure anymore.  I’ve been telling too many lies lately.  Something is going to happen to me.  I have acquired Britney Spears new album (the deluxe edition with several bonus tracks) but I have not yet listened to it.  Full report coming soon.  

I must say the first season of Supergirl is one of my favoritist things ever.  I believe I cried somewhere around 93 times throughout the entire season and in the end I walked away feeling hopeful and happy.  It is as pure an adaptation of the great spirit and sprawling mythology of the Superman lore as has ever been done and I eagerly EAGERLY anticipate season 2.  Mad props to all actors involved with Melissa Benoist simply pitch perfect as the titular girl of steel.  I think I’ll binge watch the entire first season all over again!  Love that Martian Manhunter!  

I cannot recall ever looking into a mirror and not thinking “wow, incredibly fucking ugly.”  That’s just the way it goes I suppose.  They are all dropping like flies.  Are my expectations out of whack?  I wonder if anyone truly knows what is going on underneath.  We must make a concerted effort at some point to stop smiling through our coffee stained teeth.  Careful, that thin mask of sanity you so brazenly wear is starting to slip.  I burst into tears 9 different times today but I can only explain why for slightly less than half of those occurrences.  

This was all for not, he thought.  It doesn’t really matter too much anyway though.  In his dreams she was wearing a white collared shirt with a black bow tie.  Her hair was down.  Nylons.  Black high heels.  Red lipstick.  She kneed him in the groin and it was an exquisite type of pain.  She laughed derisively and mocked him.  Then she comforted him. Everything was okay. But this was only a dream.  There exists a maddening poetry in obsession and deception.  We are not at all what we perceive ourselves to be.  You laugh and laugh and your savior is hanging around your throat.  What does it all mean exactly?  As you cut into your skin.  This is wrong and wonderful.  Let us beg for a few more pennies.  

Oh, thank goodness that I discovered you Mr.  Walker.  The baroque and then the bizarre.  Somehow it all connects and sticks needles into my soft brain tissue.  Tilt.  Oh yes.  You know how to whistle.  I think I was probably crawling around on the floor and pleading for help.  None for grim.   Oh please, just give me one more piece of perfection.  I don’t even understand a thing about these glass traps yet I constantly find myself ensnared by them.  And what are we going to be drilling through tonight?  Yes, is this fascism or some kind of glorious sadomasochistic relationship?  Or is it radically both?  Oh those hips.  All the better to see you with my dear.  A nice little drip.  A drip and a drop, quite a rhythmic motion with all that dropping.  So full and lovely.  I can’t breathe anymore with all this lace in my mouth.  

Oh yes, Under the Skin was an amazing movie.  What a glorious piece of art.  Me love it so!  Maybe I’ll go watch it right now. Or maybe I won’t.  anything is possible as the kids like to say.  What a beautiful night.  hate is in the air.  Is that why it’s beautiful?  Oh please don’t let it be so.  Yes, I was talking about Earthling earlier.  I’m not sure how that was. 

Hahaha, I can’t help but laugh to myself knowing that our filthy ugly desires control us all. what disgusting things we all are.  The awful hypocrisy.  Hahaha if only…. I am so repulsed my own body and its needs.  Why do these things exist?  There are tentacled things reaching out for me.  Don’t believe in yourself.  Why do I have to repeat that?  folk so much wiser than you and I already knew the truth.  They could see it behind all those frosted over mirrors.  I hit upon it once while sharing a taxi in the greatest city in the world.  Oh yes, we are not evil because we sin.  Oh no no no no.  Rather. We sin because we are evil.  It is such as simple truth.  And all you miserable foolish fucks who insist on pretending are in store for a very unpleasant surprise when it is finally unspooled out before us.  I’m no better of course.  i am I am a disgusting thing.  And I am nothing.  We’re all related.  What’s a boy to do?

Don’t jerk this handle or I might just die in my dreams!