mill4(1046)

Recent failure albeit slightly more reserved.  I could not deny the lovely floral pattern.  It is for certain I have not eliminated enough.  My recurrent fantasy of drowning.  I’m 40 pages into Red Sparrow.  Very enjoyable so far.  I continue very slow work in learning Low.  I love my fingers wrapped around wood.  Destruction being done to my body.  Today’s silence no doubt is a prelude to an awful though much deserved storm.  I don’t know what that speech was he made.  Psychogenic fugue.  I’ll be racing down the highway when it happens.  Funny how….  I was initially skeptical about the RZA turning over production duties to Allah Mathematics on the Clan’s newest release but I must say it is quite a corker of an album.  It made me feel while I drove around listening to it today.  In between there were moments where I was hating myself more than ever and quite strongly wanting to die.  This is not a rare occurrence for me.  it is quite common.  Increasingly so.  Just as the cutups were an increasingly utilized technique on earthling.  I love it though not as much as the predecessor.  Hard to love anything as much as the predecessor though there are a few out there.  copper hair.  At other moments there was more discreet music surrounding my ugly face, offering comfort in times of chaos.  More swans in the future I suspect.  He should know the craw (rhymes with).  Is it time for the harmonica (number 7).  That newness is being teased.  Woke up again with hands completely numb.  Gotta go slow. Will the torn out diary pages be dealt with this coming weekend?  Who knows.  Eager to see how this all compares to the inland empire (I rarely get out there these days).  As for this most recent edition.  That’s why we are all here, yes?  I realize now…no, my realization is oh so false.  I started and then stopped though excellent.  The description of white.  That’s where we are at.  Careful not to ruin things.  is it time for that whiskey now?  It was the lace.  Black on white.  Day almost over.  “oh no”.  maybe I’ll just go home and ponder about life.  What is staying my hand these days.  The love of the swamp god.  That’s everything for the time being.  Though it shares space.  Live and in living color.  Need to investigate if that fixation is unhealthy as the greatest fixations so often are.  Recurrent pig fanaticism.  Can’t complain.  Way past halitosis.  Overall, this was the least satisfying yet i am more inside than ever.  Testament to portrayal and orange crush (eliminate the color).  More fish soon.  And I don’t like shit.  That’s why my room is electric blue and that’s where I will live.  Of if only.  The allusions to the almighty luck number were clear but their overtness was a minor distraction.  Things turned out in unexpected ways. The overall conceit I like.  Should have been stretched out when like stretch Armstrong.  I had one when I was a child and when it broke I cried and cried.  I was always a little cry baby.  And now I’m just a sad pathetic man.  Tease and flirt.  Old themes recurring.  If I could go out there by the ocean and make a place for myself to….  The water wars were real, people.  Orange farms.  I need to go somewhere and look at the plat maps.  Is there anything more fascinating than plat maps?  I’ll have to ask a rude attendant to borrow a ruler as my vision has been on a steep decline lately.  Started the next one with the number but I’ll have to restart.  Nice to see the added pounds though (though this doesn’t mean what you think).  And now I see how it’s all connected with the whale being the common element wherein I was first acquainted with those pounds (you broke your little ship.  I will make them pay!) and now it recurs with this renewal.  Never saw the hair so long.  Good look.  That other thing I was mentioning I never loved as much as others.  Futile (was it).  Surely this will be a good addition, necessary to have more friendly familiar elements.  Stifling under its own strict set of parameters but there is ample room for growth.  Now I know it won’t be nearly as much as I thought.  I was wrong as always.  A non entity.  The brie!  The soft cow’s milk cheese!  First became acquainted with the involvement of ivory and a boom box.  It was later experienced in a hopeless place.  Should have known then and there how things were going to turn out.  Just biding my time until the eventual downfall.  Or has all this been a push toward something else.  Don’t wish to flatter myself.  I am scum.  I am too notorious.  It was like when the third face was added and the diamond exchange between two aquatic animals near the beginning with a recorded tape as a third party.  I am everywhere. I am a nobody who is everywhere.  And the flower boy.  So much I need to know stronger.  Just put forth the effort you fucking ugly useless bastard.  They have not yet figure out what to do aside from the tongue in the box.  Lab monkey sprung out the other day while lingerie hung on the walls.  Rediscovery is so good.  Those last two are as good as anything.  They hold up mightily.  Soon a very specific season will commence.  I need to be smarter this time around.  Why am I hungry again?  Do I hear twenty-one?  how amusing.  Do you see the struggle analytical content in today’s environment?  I specifically mean today.  I don’t lament it.  I am eager for a return.  I tried but the whiskey and self loathing was taking it’s toll.  Getting back to those pages I mentioned earlier I’m not sure the descriptions match the eventual somewhat irritating choice.  But why should it matter if I am irritated?  As previously established, I am a nobody.  I ate a cheeseburger today.  I am asking you to carry me again.  Who will be my comforting….  Fragments as ever.  More meaningless information.  I am only uncertain.  Maybe I need to become panoramic.