3m3c

I don’t want to disguise tonight.  Smile in your eyes.  Beautiful lines around the eyes.  Want to remember that exactly as it was.  Red wine on top and white underneath.  Did not recognize.  Streaks.  Butterscotch.  You didn’t recognize me?  coffee.  And water.  The classic drink that never goes out of style.  Everything disjoined now.  It all happens over and over again, sometimes in order, sometimes out of order and sometimes all at the same time.  top of the stairs.  Something happens.  Too scared to go down.  I’ll come back for you.  Ya regreso.  Not quite right.  But perfect.  Sorry.  You’re very colorado.  Walking back the questions.  He wants to ask everything but knows what a mistake that would be.  I would like to be your friend.  but friendship isn’t possible.  That makes me very comfortable.  Brujeria.  Witchcraft.  Black magic.  Playful black magic.  Sexy.  Incredible.  Wonderful.  Flirt.  Little by little.  Tease.  In a circle.  That felt right.  Mini skirt.  If you want you can wear a mask.  Perhaps made of lace.  With the pole on the floor.  This did not come to pass.  Same breathing method.  The ice cream will set you back.  Fruit and chocolate.  I just want to stay there forever.  Furtive glances.  I don’t know anything anymore.  Then at the end the long walk and the desire to do it all over again.  This moment is forever sealed.  It exists and it doesn’t.  this is a precious thing.  And everything is you.  Wanting to hug.  Don’t lean in.  laughing genuine.  Inside the car and nothing makes sense anymore.  There is more life than time.  what does she do?  Need to walk it off.  There was no sin here.  But that may not be what he wanted.  One in a different direction.  Perfect smile.  Laugh at me if you please.  Ukuleles and brass when he thinks of you.  Making love in the ocean.  Swimming together.  Light of the moon.  He ran to get you out.  Out of his system. Outside of his mind.  To keep each other warm.  A hug.  Never can happen.  But if only.  I have to apologize.  I can hear the fingers slide across the strings and this is you.  I want to know all the tastes.  I want to know every moment.  I want to experience every new thing and re-experience everything from before but now anew.  Hushed and then laughing.  Arm in arm, hand in hand, no, this never happened.  Only in the ultraviolet dreams.  Walk the...quoting now, where you held me in that night.  Paid the price.  Can’t forget…the crooked…wonderfully crooked but I can’t say a word.  The feeling of desire.  The wish to give in to desire. To be in the sun with you.  To see the sun on your face and watch the ocean kiss your feet.  Hands clasped.  You’ll come back for me.  is that friendship a possibility?  The future is not exactly the right phrase.  Already the best wishes are being thrown out and he cannot bring himself to depart.  A shoulder.  This is what he asks himself over and over again.  There is an indestructible chain.  Don’t worry about anything else.  No sin yet.  Everything is imagined and beautiful.  This word again beautiful.  He tells her that she is beautiful.  But no, this never happened either.  Family.  Story of the brother.  A similar fear.  Comraderies.  Where was he in that moment?  Worried because everything was too real.  In the elevator now.  One hand so close to another.  The wind pushes me home.  And now exhausted and nothing in between us.  Everything now through the glass.  This will one day all be gone but for now it feels so good for him to live and swim inside of it.  Outrunning it.  Can never happen.  That moment with the smile in your eyes.  Sing your name into the night.  A queen.  Where are we going to leave our love?  I want the warm rain to wash it away.  I want to be swept up in it.  He wonders everything.  He wonders how everything will feel.  Never find out.  These are such small moments, gone the second they begin.  But they are infinity.  They are everything forever.  Please forgive the endless longings.  I’ve ruined everything as usual.  No betrayal. I’ve never fallen into the ocean.  I see you at sunset.  Never compromise the one thing above all else.  It’s all the difference in what you’ve seen day after day.  Otherwise I am nothing.  Those moments will live on and on and travel up to the stars.  Never utter a word about the free form.  Leave it all inside the night.  I could fall in love.  Leave all the love inside the night.  The tide will carry it out.  Fingers touching lips.  Hands so close.  Everything is temptation.  We’ve already fallen in love.  Smile and its everything.  The love is already here. It is real and lasts forever.  I miss things that were never true.  He cannot plan for another moment.  I want to get every detail but how many are already lost to the universe.  I hope somewhere I can see it all over again.  Sitting on the table.  Envy.  Inanimate objects.  We are all like astronauts.  Message with a rose.  And the morning smelled so good and it was all imagined.  A secret inner existence.  What are we all hiding from one another?  There is nothing more fascinating.  Longing.  Some things can never be repeated.  We’ll take everything day by day.  I keep going to places where you have been.  The places have a strong vibrant and wonderful memory of your presence.  I’m seeing the echoes of you.  I’m hearing your voice in the walls and retracing your steps and imagining myself there in all those former moments that we will never be able to recover.  The entire lives we will lead and leave behind.  Everything we will ever do.  All the choices we’ve made and all the chances we will never have to make things right. 

Will I be seeing another at the costume ball?  I miss you dreadfully.