MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2019!

 

After months of teases and building anticipation here is my list of my favorite movies of 2019!  To be clear, I’m not saying these were the BEST movies of that great year!  They are merely MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.  I have shit taste and I’m a stupid person.  obviously I didn’t see everything that came out in 2019 but this is the list set in stone.  So even if I see 10 movies tomorrow that were released in 2019 and are all better than these 10 I would still not change this sacred list.  I started drinking around 10 am this morning, trying to quash this awful feeling.  It is the feeling of being a worthless person.  the alcohol doesn’t make me feel better necessarily but it numbs me and that’s good enough.  Sleeping also helps.  I love being asleep.  I’m probably going to make a big purchase soon.  Spending money makes me feel better in the short term. 

Before I start a few honorable mentions that remained just barely outside the top 10:  Serenity/the beach bum – I can’t separate these two flicks given their kinda similar setting and the lead actor (who’s gamely destroyed all the good will of the McConaissance but seemingly boldly as a choice!).  Serenity has one of the most audacious and ridiculous revelations and for that I give it made points!  And Beach Bum is just silly pretty crudola that I love and goes good with the other films of that director’s oeuvre.  Knives Out  - this is very entertaining and suspenseful and funny with some nice symbolism stuff.  Great time.  Also, i always try and single out my favorite show of the year and that was WATCHMEN which expanded bueatifully upon the mythology and created it’s own zany crazy intense beautiful thing. 

10. Hustlers – love the Goodfellas feel of it all!  And Lopez’s performance! And just all the life goodliness of it all!  It was just a great honest HEARTFELT film! 

9. The Forest of Love – Every Sion Sono movie is a like a large sandwich of crazy shit.  It always leaves me exhausted and in love with the artform of cinema and even more regretful that I’ve wasted my life and that I’m a worthless person . no one else is to blame, it’s my fault for being so useless this movie had Sono’s classic deranged characters and bizarre thick plot.  Love that monologue at the end.  What a damn movie!  

8.     Crawl – great lark.  And I love great lark.  And ends at just the right moment.  And has a dash of Pepper! And a cute dog! And a strong performance by the lead actress! Perfect lark!  I can put this on any time, even when I just want to die (which is almost always)! 

7.     John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum– the John Wick series is the current gold standard for Stateside action flicks (along with the Mission Impossible movies).  They are symphonic spectacles that captivate me!  and the immersive mythology is icing on the cake.    

          6.     Joker – certainly the most controversial of the mainstream movies released last year! I remember going opening night and seeing police officers in all the nooks and crannies of the theatre. I’ve lost my ability to write.  Criticisms are apt: it is a shameless Scorcese rip off.  But it has a great and scary and tragic lead performance by Joaquin Phoenix and raises genuinely interesting questions about social services in the US and about our gleeful propensity to make “others” out of others.  I dunno.  I hate myself

5. Burning – haunting and beautiful . Can’t get it out of my head. 

 

4.     Dragged Across Concrete – new cop classic.  And I love cop stuff.  This one so gritty it makes me want to eat a sandwich or gouge my eyes out.  I celebrate this director’s entire filmography. Masterful filmmaking here.  It burns brighter than a            thousand evil mad sorcerers. Seriously, this is crime perfection with a great performance from Mel.  Great fucking writing and atmosphere and whatever.  This a perfect crime epic.  Please give me more movies like this!!  I really hate myself because I’m an ugly worthless failure.  Time to just call it a day?  

 

3.     The Lighthouse – this will be my midnight movie for years to come! Just a perfect slice of something!  Dark comedy or odd Bergmanesque quasi horror or something!  It’s dark and gorgeous and hilarious and stirring or whatever with two amazing actors and every scene is golden and it makes me squeal with girlish glee! 

2.     Dolor y Gloria – I adore Almodovar.  I can’t say if this is his best film because he has too many amazing films.  But this one deeply touched me.  It’s all about the glories and restorative properties of….    Banderas’s best performance?!  I’ll be watching this one until the end of time.  Beautiful movie.  Lovely.  Perfection. Restorative powers!  Oh I’m so grateful for this amazing movie!   

1.     The Irishman – This is a sumptuous film.  The type of movie that makes me want to postpone my suicide! It only could have come from Marty.  Effectively closing the book on the mafioso genre he helped usher in (that final shot could not be more perfect and haunting as a capper).  I’ve had this movie on in the background for the past 3 weeks while I’ve stewed in debilitating self loathing.  Oh God, I really hate myself but its only because I’m a worthless failure.  Usually I’m glad that I don’t own a firearm because I know I would decide to use it on myself one night and just check out for good.  But it’s for that same reason that I sometimes wish I had one.  The Irishman and the movie he made before this one (Silence) are the epic one-two-punch that perfectly closes out a towering and legendary career!  This is a rich flick.  Compelling! I get lost in it!  And all the leads do expert work!  The gang’s all back for one last hurrah! Going out in style.  Leaving it all on the table!  Pure cinema!  

there's my list! nothing's changed! i still suck! i'm still a loser.  ugly worthless individual.  my head always feels full of grey clouds.  it's worse in the morning i think . whatever, doesn't really matter i guess