At a piece
of packaged salmon for breakfast and washed it down with a tall glass of tepid
tap water (my favorite). Laid around and
thought about triangles for a while.
Tried to analyze my relationship with the Dangerous Sacred. Was I born in the wrong decade. Missing out on the glory days of AM
radio. Black helicopters. Military bases. Faeries.
There is something there but I just can’t quite figure it all out
yet. I am privy to a great awakening to
nothing. Back to nothing. Not really back, he never left, just deluded
himself. Greek again. Need to remember. Greek.
The strange words and symbols hastily scrawled on a small pad of
paper. Twins was it? counting the days now (motherfucker I count
the days). if there is one today there
will probably be two without but there is none today then there will probably
be three without. These are all under
the idealistic of circumstances though he’s never been an idealist. Would really like some coffee but lately
everytime I drink coffee it makes my delicate tummy heart. Or does it? the more I learn the less I want
to know. Yes, need to get back to palm
springs. Not sure exactly what’s
happening, everything closing in. a
reverting is taking place. But a plan to
palm springs is in order. Need to go to
an office store soon and buy a cheapass planner. The cheapest they have. Need to start planning shit. Aimlessness is an enemy. Remembering The Senators now. remembering someone using the phrase “very
very hot”. YOU CLIMB THE
MOUNTAIN!!! Can feel the old madness taking hold again. Withnail love. It’s another prelude to an uh. Before lurching toward the vodka sleep last
night I thought of The Symbol of Purity.
Started at one spot but culminated in another. Smile has me.
raised brow has me. I’m listening
to some odd guitar work recorded on a 4 track while I write some trash. Or am i?
the more I learn the less I want to know. Just got to envision the fiery crash. Remember that video showing the wet shave in
honor of one of my favorite movies. Just
splattered myself all over the porcelain; abstract slippery brown on
white. I sat there in the hot stink for
a while, ruminating over my septic thirties.
My asshole felt all hot and bothered.
Johnny Impotency here again, belching up more Mexican food and sweatin’
out the booze! At some point I was
staring out the window, watching rain and traffic, seriously wondering why I’m
such a hopeless fuckup. I felt bad
earlier for a would be party goer.
Predictably the best part of my day was when I could once again be in
the presence of The Symbol of Purity.
I’m a lost individual. All I’m
looking for is to experience something epic and spiritual play out in a very
dark way on a European train. Yes, who I
am staring across at sometimes changes (though increasingly less). But the scenario largely remains the
same. Gonna walk around with my shirt
tucked in for a while looking like a jackass.
I do so love repeating old destructive patterns. I am my least favorite person. YOU CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN!!! One lovely moment where the next move was
anticipated. Knowing glance. Lovely, seductive, so beautiful. Unbelievable.
“okay.” I don’t even like beer in
the real world. My face was being melted
off which initially made things difficult.
Celebration with no one in attendance.
But the ambience still filled the room.
The details wonderfully provided.
That okay. Yes, that okay. Offering the choice. So lovely.
Rhinoceros. At one point so
close. Scents. Oh God all he wanted was an embrace. Just a lovely hug. Because he is vile and pathetic and repugnant
and disgusting. Another one of these
please. Of course this cannot last. The way out is through! I can’t get anything done. Hair.
Maid. So close. He just wanted a
hug so much. It would be everything. A lovely hug to breathe in her scent and then
die. A great deal of information was given
in a short span of time. suddenly he
remembered an empty bottle of soda pop which is now roughly 15 years old. And other assorted things. I’m such a fucking piece of shit. YOU CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN!!! But there was rain. Things get called on account of rain. Lovely slumber in it’s place. Coffee.
Red. Eating with a mask on. Even the progeny noticed. Of course, through it all he desperately
wanted a face full of glorious derriere.
To be totally subsumed. He craved
complete dominance and utter humiliation.
For her to let big suffocating ones rip right in his in the process of
being crushed face while giggling so beautifully and berating him. You’ll have your place in the lake. There’s nothing I do that isn’t
destructive. Renewal. I see now a deeper symbol that calls. Statues.
Be careful during worship, who you choose and why. Yes, the reminders. Greek.
Cups of fruit. I see the wonderful
simplicity of things. I see the willing
end of me . J. Impotency doing his level best just to be a person, largely
failing. My best feature is typically my
shadow. Blood rush to the head during
the close proximity. Should have stayed
but instead decided to go to my usual haunt which was a big fucking mistake in
a life full of them. Hope to read some
silver age comics tomorrow. Maybe Green
Lantern. Then maybe some bronze age
Fantastic Four. Need to feel good. Write some garbage. Think about a hug and feel repulsive. I’ll probably drink some juice too. Also probably won’t be able to resist the
bold new obsession. Which means I’ll
probably have an early evening session enlarging my heart. Apropos of nothing, my life for Sofia
Gigante. Thinking of manicured yellow
again. Thinking about petty jealousy
again. This will all pass. I am such a sad individual. Total fucking worthless loser. Mop handle.
No comments:
Post a Comment