maybe the iberian is the one who could bring it all back?! restorative fat ass!

 

Paraguay, very interesting stuff.  Questionable booking?  I played it safe last night, how nice.  That movie Holland was a steaming pile of crap.  Nicole kidman still gets me worked up though, even with all the work.  I think if she looked at me wide eyed or cross eyed I would just totally explode into my rent trousers.  Or would i?! the more I learn the less I want to know . I have my weekend lined up.  Had a real nice fantasy this morning about being brutally killed in a feeding frenzy by a bunch of female werewolves.  Maybe I’ll read some fantastic four comics this weekend.  I’ve already drank two cans of pineapple juice today.  Need to hit the streets to buy more pineapple juice.  Wrote longhand last night, felt good.  Reconnected.  I miss you dreadfully. Singing: in my shitty life, in my crappy nights!  New Savina album out today.  Gotta crank it while I drive to the atm and then downtown for a stiff drink.  The book of short stories I’m reading right now is effortlessly breaking all the rules! Or is it?  the more I learn the less I want to know. Thinking about that Hungarian putting me in a reverse headscissor.  But my dreams never come true.  For me, it’s always too late.  Singing all summer long all summer long.  Americans have a silly, stupid immature view about sex.  So many giggles.  What dumb people we are!  summoning a cat girl! Lingerie fighting championships! About to hit the streets.  Read about a bourgeois dog recently.  Cute stuff.   Am I entering or exiting?  Hard to say.  I recently ate a cheeseburger with bacon.  And then I behaved responsibly.  The attack in the parking.  I am getting rehooked.  I hope to eat watermelon soon.  Driving around listening to the artist who did the best tribute.  Were they twins?  White trash bar.  one of many.  I was reading a paperback book with a gold cover and yellow pages at several parking lots.  Summoning gone wrong.  Hope the extended iteration gets through before my card is denied.  I really like having one drink in midafternoon.  I really like the cover of Marcos where has that cool t-shirt on and all those fruit juices are present.  That’s a great cover.  Good on Murray for saying what needed to be said.  we’re all so stupid these with how we obtain our information. Recently watched an Italian movie I quite liked.  the Turks use 53 notes!  The bomb has me. the hosiery.  The lusciousness.  Journey through the secret like of the album. The one nation album.  Neutron bomb.  Depended on.  Never in real life.  Heart is all over the place.  Too much rhythm.  Last night too.  What the hell is going on?!  Probably go buy avocados late into the night.  Probably buy chickens wings at some point.  The rain!  Matching gear.  What color!  I’m so empty.  I should just sit in my car and listen to old cassette tapes and wonder if my life is ending or beginning.  Chest feels all funny.  CRACK!!!  Nothing works anymore. I’m all washed up.  Maybe I just need to blast off to adventure in the amazing year 400 billion!!!  People who think we’re going to colonize other planets make me laugh! Hahahah! I’m washing a load of laundry right now.  or am i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Marcos reminding me of a boat trip I took.  Glamorous.  Too much emptiness.  They all come and they go.  No meaning to any of it.  maybe I’ll buy some cereal later on.  With soy milk.  Cause cows are calves.  I HATE MYSELF!!!  Gotta spell things out with little wooden blocks. Bomb forced out the soft ejaculate.  Right at the hosieryed foot shot.  (preceding the hosieryed ass shot, he just couldn’t wait).  Still no meaning to be found anywhere.  Need to return to some books to someone I don’t speak to anymore. I thought one of the books had a crocodile or an alligator on the cover but I could not have been more wrong.  Or could have i?! the more I learn the less I want to know.  Feel all flighty. Is it nerves?  Is it luck?!  Gus’s last days. Feeling that way as I sat down on my living room flower and looked outside at a pot of fake flowers on my dirty balcony.  Kind of eerie.  Kind of okay.  Someone texted me recently and called me a fucking asshole.  probably accurate.  In hiding.  Remember I saw you in a photograph with your partner, both wearing matching band t-shirts.  I was looking at a machine and being asked questions and the machine was featureless.  I could not tell you at all what it looked like or what it really did.  is that featureless?  Im’ going to shower soon and have a wet shave.  Looking at who people value and appreciate tells you a lot about them.    I tent to live my life with a typical hong kong-here-today-who-knows-where-tomorrow-attitude.  I’ll likely never have my great motorcycle moment.  I could never drive a motorcycle. I’m too much of a candyass.  There’s a nice breeze coming through my window.  I’m coming home!!!  You know what?  I am pretty excited for the new I Know What You Did Last Summer movie.  legacy.  Strange how I ended up with two rubber crocs.  Destiny?  (Big blue). Still have that gold piece of rubber.  All good things are falling away from me.  a punkah is a large fan suspended from the ceiling in India, operated by an attendant pulling a rope,  My turquoise ass! My teal ass!  Still thinking of the whole din of sin cast as werewolves, something like that.  North West can’t sing worth a tin shit!  I might be social later on today.  How did the dubia chocolate trend go vial?  How didn’t it?!  that’s the question I should be asking . why don’t I fee lust anymore?  Once interrupted her at cash register.  Hates me for life. 

thought it was queen pineapple for a second but i was possibly dead wrong (supply closets and incorrect amounts on checks!)

 

Love that one lashes album so much.  I was living inside of it for a while and protected me with pure liquid emotion I could swim in and drink.  My god, did not realize that Jolt has a 4k physical release.  Jolt is another amazon movie starring Kate Beckinsale. It’s a total pile of crap but I love it so much and have watched it dozens of times and fantasized about her character in that movie thousands of times.  As a sign of respect and honor I need to buy this physical release.  The cover looks great. I am a deeply sad person.  love that werewolf scene in the movie trick r’ treat.  Or do I? the more I learn the less I want to know.  Maybe’ll start a vampire series.  Great actress, never realized how flawless her accent is cause I’m dumb.  Air smells good outside today.  I’m washing my sheets.  I love Ana Barbara’s legs in pantyhose.  It’s one of the few things I have left to live for.  Pantimedias.  So hot.  If only after a long night of rehearsal and concert she would use my face as her personal footrest while berating me in her native tongue.  Ni loca.  One of my faves to.  I’m watching a movie about Indians.  Real happy about that upcoming dirt cheap violator collection that’s coming out.  Always wanted to read that.  need moore.  Probably won’t even be able to afford given my current financial situation (see previous post).  Jennifer tilly looked so hot in Bride of Chucky!  Or did she?! The more I learn the less I want to know.  Just took a tremendous crap.  You gotta epilogue it at some point.  You’re destroying yourself.  “you’re my favorite.”  It’s important to leave things behind when they no longer work.  maybe go for a walk today.  Maybe eat carrots today.  Maybe get a good night’s sleep tonight.  Reduce mind pollution.  This cannot continue.  You are pushing yourself away from.  Maybe I’ll skip shaving today.  Maybe I’ll visit an ATM today.  I already drank a can of pineapple juice.  Maybe now I’ll go have a tall glass of tepid tap water (my favorite).  I’ll need some coffee at some point . there was a small paper insert in the year book.  I remember reading batman adventures annual number one back in the day.  writing some things out long hand with help.  Don’t expect too much from the end of the.  I have hunger.  Aliens nuked mars! Read the science!  I took a nap recently.  I didn’t have the chops!  I couldn’t cut the mustard!  Eye crossing!  Poison Ivy cosplay!  Me and my girl named bimbo!  Acapella!  It’s day now and the day is shining like a dandelion.  I have five kids and they all grew up to be serial killers!  What are the odds?!  Was interesting listening to the phillip klass of pro wrestling dissect the charlotte tiffy situation.  Go away heat, not heel heat!  I like to stare at people with my mouth open.  I need to buy a blonde wig for myself.  It’s all in the ear of the behearer.  Plastics.  This country was built on the plastics industry.  It should have been red instead of green.  Rubbed one out and then felt empty afterward.  Need to eat a bar of granola.  I’m so empty.  Miss you.  I wasn’t exactly dressed for disco dancing.  You’re my favorite.  My whole life is a work.  come.   I’m going to read for a while.  I have nothing to show for my life.  Maybe one day the Hungarian.  I already used up the one hundred dollars cash American I had in the white envelope.  I’m gonna go for a drive soon.  Think I’ll listen to carly rae whilst driving around.  Adjudication is in process!  Adjudication could take years!!  Centuries!!! Millennia!!!! My t-shirt smells all musty.  I feel like a stale bastard.  Maybe I should eat a whopper soon.  It’s been years since I ate a whopper.  Or has it?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I am such a boring person.  I consistently bore the shit out of myself.  I bore myself to sleep at night.  I gotta start punching walls more often.  Bathory is on the mend.  Another nice day out.  So why can’t I bring myself  to go for a walk?  I don’t have the balls!  Also, I’m too consumed with self loathing.  It makes lot of different activities harder than they should be.  I’m tired a lot.  Tired of myself.  If I ever meet her I hope she chokes me out with her feet.  I’d like a slice of pizza but I don’t want to be seen in public paying for and/or eating a slice of pizza.  Remember that time you were hanging out with a couple of friends, eating five dollar pizza on the sidewalk and some smelly loser homeless bastard came up to ya’ll and you generously gave him the rest of the pizza cause you and your friends were full?  I used to be a good person.  remember that time you had a successful life?  No?  that’s because it never fucking happened you worthless fuck!!! I don’t have very interesting thoughts anymore.  Still thinking about Stephanie Vaquer today.  Or am i?! the more I learn the less I want to know . need to correct myself there because she IS interesting.  Self conscious writing.  Nothing I do is ever natural.  Nothing I do is ever worth a tin shit.  I could go for some chicken wings right now.  too bad I don’t have any money.  Too bad my face is so ugly.  too bad I’ve never done anything worthwhile in my life.  The golden penetrators! Can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.  Being asleep is my favorite thing.  Fearless is underrated.  I realized the reason I never have any good moments is because I’m always present.  It’s hard to exclude yourself from your own day.  someone had on a green shirt last night.  Unfinished screwdriver. 

also jolt, loved the terrible jolt and the part with the fish....

 

The Dark Angel wants all of them.  Need to buy the director’s cut of hat . I’m intentionly obfuscating there.  shouldn’t be a surprise.  My whole life is a work.  I adored ed’s art on superman back in the day.  or did i? the more I learn the less I want to know.  At Eh-stand and deliver.  Adorable.  I really like the color pink.  Do I dare eat ramen for lunch and for dinner?  I really love that one song from the barbi soundtrack.  It’s a piece of cake.  One of my fall time favorite moments is on that motorcycle in the tunnel, cue the new wave, cue my tears. The nineteeth!  Stream!  Fatal fourway!  Paranoia’s getting to me again.  Time to brush my teeth, take a shit and steal once more into the inky night!  Morning of the magicians, eh.  Strange occurrences last night.  Ate another turkey sandwich with pineapple juice recently.  Pineapple juice remains the best thing in my life right now.  need to wash the sheets.  Need to finish secret wars.  Like the smell of bleach.  And she said, well that’s a good idea.  Some was asking for YAT YAT YAT.  Couldn’t quite figure out who.  Oh God, the raw fear coursing through me when I saw that thin black cable, a circle, against the beige, raw raw fear.  Couldn’t have silence.  Black thong pov.  I want to be tied up.  I read a book called magic a while back.  I appreciate the difficulty and discipline in mastering the deck.  Good display.  Was the blonde the plant.  Door wouldn’t open until I did the manly thing of using my shoulder.  then the awkward sprint to my car, peeling out . I got the hell out of there, me!  please let that finally be the end of it.  end’s with absurdity . the pocket communities that rise up . I’m part of the cast.  Maybe the saddest part.  Please just let that be over.  Gotta cut back for a while on the dangerous sacred.  Brain is not able to cope.  It’s un-American to be taken against my will!  Glorified version of a.  talking about muslims last night.  Was I hallucinating?  Just what the hell was going on?!  Suddenly everything was dark.  Only a buxom muslim, a fat greasy cowboy and a magician.  Were these people real?  Disguises.  I began receiving communication from outside intelligences.  I got the hell out of there, me!!! thought about being tied up and then a Brazilian bbw named Britney forcibly shoves her foot into my mouth while telling me things I can’t understand.  I hear you, you bastard!  The moon scares me.  I need to have a wet shave a take a walk.  Or do i? the more I learn the less I want to know.  Need to buy laundry soap, bar soap and paper towels.  And a fifth of whiskey.  Need to buy a book called veronica.  I’ll probably get around to reading the new Pynchon at some point.  Fuck, I don’t know.  Writing water.   I failed many times but I have to try to write water.  From the gutters of new York.  Need to find a new place to haunt.  Really liked haruki’s first couple of books.  Or did i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know. Hands shaking.  I just took a tremendous crap!  My financial situation changed.  As such, I had to cancel a couple subscriptions that aid in the evacuation of my balls!  My life is falling apart around me!  indrid.  It’s okay, I tell myself, you’ll feel better after having a wet shave and going for a walk.  I don’t’ give a good goddam about those wolves they brought back.  who gives a crap?  Wasting time on stupid shit!  Holy shit, that cover of timewarp no. 5 really smokes!  I gotta see if I have a dollar bill lying around.  That fucking idiot bob was pointing the camera in the wrong fucking direction and consequently the UFO flew the fuck away and he failed to take a picture of it!!  was watching a woman in lingerie sitting her fat ass on a cake she baked and I just lost it.  I really just fucking lost it!  one of my favorite things in life is to really really want something, obtain it and then to almost immediately with the same familiar feelings of sadness and emptiness that I had before.  Really like that song white bird.  Heard it in a diane lane movie.  I cry at almost every  movie.  I cry all the time now.  I should run for public office.  Japan strong style!  Need to watch more of the japan strong style!  Or do i?! the more I learn the less I want to know.  Remember that time you asked that beautiful fat assed Latina at the bar if you could buy her a drink and she said no?! hahahah!   Man, you are such a fucking loser!  Good thing I still have a subway gift card or I would fucking starve to death!  Balls of meat, American cheese, olives, jalapenos and mustard!  Toast that shit!  I love every piece of crap that Kate Beckinsale puts out.  Can’t remember the name of the recent spy one that went directly to amazon!  Wait, I remember now!  impromptu writing! Canary Black!  What a pile of crap! I watched it at least a couple dozen times!  I just ate a purported heart healthy mix for a cute little snack (washed it down with a glass of tepid tap water, my favorite).  That should help counterbalance the staggering amount of whiskey and wine I imbibe on a nightly basis!  Or should it?!  the more I learn the less I want to know!  Been a while since I ordered used pantyhose.  Man, those were the days.  Last pair she’d worn during her kickboxing classes.  She was so accommodating.  I just totally fucking lost it when I smelled the feet part.  Heart racing just thinking about it!  old faithful!!! Glass traps. 

and it was round

 

Was the phone call a work?  finals events.  Parsons.  Ultra.  Careful.  At some point, certain people, their entire life becomes a work.  maybe we want it that way.  It was raining recently.  Ring in my mouth.  Humiliation kink.  The humiliation kink cannot be underestimated.  Remember that time I tried to learn drive in Saturday on the bass guitar and I failed?  I fail at most things.  white trash all around me!  glenrock nine! Careful not to work yourself into a frenzy or you’ll have to drink until you pass out.  The farting made in hosiery who farts while she cleans! Brilliant!  Where’s my copy of all star?  Need to read more of that jimmy olsen comic book.  left upper chest area feels flighty.  Yet tight!  Gotta make time to watch all the Yasmeen episodes! Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I can only conclude that Patsy was the one who wrote that note.  And if one concludes then the only possible explanation is that it was either she, John, Burke that committed this act or it was John or Burke and then Patsy entered into a conspiracy with the perpetrator to cover up the crime.  No one should listen to me though.  I ain’t got no good grammar!  Jack “King” Kirby really was incredible.  I recently cooked and ate some chicken.  Black lab named Harvey! Scary stuff!  Brillo de luna!  I’m chubby and clean shaven.  Everyone who knows me well knows what my favorite spike lee joint is.  Or do they?! The more I learn the less I want to know.  Gotta get caught up on nxt.  Once knew a waitress with a really great ass.  Truly gorgeous ass.  Circus.  Thought about drawing.  I don’t have a functioning printer.  Need to print some things.  I need glue.  Or rubber cement.  Would love ana de armas to punch me.  started watching something that seemed like a real piece of crap.  I was eating grapes during the act.  I have the hiccups.  I am she.  Need to apply for that job where I’d be wiping ass!  Son of hope.  Iha’s album pretty good.  Recollections earlier.  But I cannot comment on the golden triangle.  But recollections.  Distortions.  So lovely.  Fragile.  And tender.  I miss.  Time travel.  He was focused on only one iteration of her but there were others.  He was so self serving.  I was drinking honey mustard straight from the bottle.  Saw a book of photographs I wanted to buy but I don’t have any money.  Need to hurry up and finish my application to professionally wipe gracie bon’s ass!  I didn’t have my corrective eyewear on last night so I was not fully able to appreciate that cocktail dress.  I began the day eating a turkey sandwich and drinking a can of pineapple juice.  Or did i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Writing and reading reports is fun.  Self delusion is fun.  Alicia was only in 3 episodes but made a big everlasting impression on the fandom and on yours falsely.  Linda was a good looking lady.  Roleplay.  Delusion.  Growing to embrace and loving the lie.  Believing the lie.  Believing the life.  Lie becomes life.  Lie becomes reality.  Willing something into existence.  Gal at the bar last night with a huge and lovely ass crammed into black pants.  Then she was puking into the garbage can.  I’m reading new fictions.  They were preparing us for something that never came.  Wonder if part 2 is simply cancelled.  Maybe if I go out for some pizza I’ll have a chance encounter at a sporting goods store.  Liked that was chilly last night.  I like yellowed pages.  Lars Bang is a fucking liar!  It’s noisy today.  Too many perspectives.  There is no actual truth.  Fuck the Regency!  Is charlotte mad at The Dark Angel?  Was listening to tom waits last night while on my way to that date with the monkey on my back.  I had hoped the song would somehow conjure up a previous time, that I may once know myself.  That I may once again feel something.  I recently read a really interesting short story.  Nonsense is helping me find my way back.  big woman sitting on a burrito and a chicken sandwich.  Big woman sitting on a loaf of bread.  typing with one hand.  Microwave ovens.  Lot of things we can’t see: microwaves, infrared waves.  We’re not allowed to know.  Need that devil dinosaur collection.  My lunch was decent.  Balls and spirit empty.  I love strikes again.  You let her wear the tights!  If I had the money I’d go out searching right now!  I’d have that genesis song on in the background.  Maybe I’d even wear those heart shaped glasses (don’t break my heart).  I’m full of self defeat.  Can’t kick.  Gotta kick.  Need to read the full report on the Napolitano case.  Reports are everything.  Took it for granted.  Wish I could be in tangier right now, sweating it out and drinking and writing reports.  Maybe have some jazz on in the background.  nova.  Still haven’t found my zwan stickers.  We must never be apart!!!  Just took a crap.  My shit style’s been off lately.  And my stool darker than normal.  Fun house the searing sound of summer.  Fun house incredible.  My dark angel.  With you until the end.  Lady death cosplay model.  I was someone’s last friend.  be careful how you treat people.  Just read another short story.  A great one.  garielle.  Need to clean my bathtub.  Need to start eating my supper off newspapers on the floor.  Need to find a bland and deeply unsatisfying office job.  I’m going to just deep repeating the same unfortunate patterns until it’s all over.  Resorting to myself.  Gonna watch a movie soon.  Wood.  Someone saying “move” woke me up twice.  Then someone making an ugly sound, sounded like my mother.  That conversation with the reptilian.  Pretty name.  kids are so stupid.  Four times faster than an f22. 

pay for more high priest trauma? (re-activate account to buy used hosiery?)

 

Remembering of course that time at the party when Alyssa walked up and said hi to me. still one of the greatest moments of my miserable and utterly worthless life.  Need to buy some milk for cereal.  Soy milk.  Cause cows are for calves.  Sex me!  I remember going to a store to buy a used 3 disc album.  Then I listened to it in a small shitty studio space.  Love it all.  Noches sin luna.  Love that too.  Love rediscovering love.  Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Ate wings recently.  With strawberry juice.  Then I brushed my teeth.  Then I scoped out some Brazilian bbw’s but they didn’t really do anything for me.  desire is leaving me.  it also could have been the stiff drink I had before consuming the wings.  A stiff drink in the afternoon always makes me feel a little sleepy.  I thought about going out to search.  But then I felt so weary of it all I ultimately decided against it.  what would I do if the search ended in success?  I don’t have enough clues to go off.  I don’t have anything.  Just greased up my hair so I can go buy some raspberries later.  There will be a catastrophe the likes we’ve never seen!  Egg shaped.  Disease is giving me prick animal.  The grift of it all is fascinating.  The deep seated need to believe.  There is nothing coming ever.  But it is fun to run around pretending.  It’s all just pretend.  Most days if you time it just right you can see me drinking mustard straight out of the bottle.  Numero una has me.  the poetry of The Lemon Kid has me.  I will find her.  coca cola t shirt?  I regret that no one greets me with a smile anymore.  Should I jack off?  even two crocodiles aren’t helping me out.  Microwavable croc.  I just found one of my favorite plectrums, covered in dust.  I read 40 pages of a book I’d read before this morning.  I really enjoyed those pages.  I first read it while sitting in a Mexican restaurant.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I’m leaving myself.  I’m disappearing little by little.  Everything stripped away.  No,nothing is working.  What’s wrong with me?  I need to get my mojo running.  Never really good into anything patton.  Don’t force it if you’re not feeling it.  nothing to gain.  i’m not depressed I’m just disappearing.  Blood rimmed tide.  I had it then I lost it.  the.   I almost went for a walk today but I talked myself out of it.  I just yawned.  I’m going to cook some meat now.  there’s so little of me left .  you took all meaning when you left.  Maybe I should drink some wine.  I’m yawning again.  I love being asleep.  Reading about gracie bon right now.  there’s a woman at the bar that always plays the absolute shittiest music on the electronic jukebox thing but she has a glorious ass and is always showing it off so I don’t mind.  I like to drink alcohol when I’m at the bar.  the BBL smell!  Planet X!  I have very limited math and science skills.  New clip available: Stinky Nylons Sniffing! Thank God!  They look so happy.  I love Hanna and jane.  I just took a crap.   Can’t write today.  I’m trying but nothing’s coming out.  Drink or lack of drink and uncertainty and malaise are prohibiting me.  or are they?  The more I learn the less I want to know.  Political machinations!  I woke up at a decent hour today.   Sleepy again.  My rectum lined with red frog eggs.  Ate sardines (Mediterranean style) and a banana for lunch.  Also, had a glass of luke warm tap water to wash it down with.  Then I washed my dishes.  Then I sat around on beige carpet, felt depressed and thought about feeling depressed.  I started yawning.   Decided to take another crap and have a wet shave.  Gonna listen to a new Katia Guerreiro album at some point.  Probably when I’m driving around and feeling depressed.  Need to put some petrol in my car.  Maybe buy a cheap bottle of wine.  Need to find my library card.  Should spend more time at the library.  Extra thick!  Megasus!  When will Vaquer start selling merch?  I’ll buy 47 of everything.  Or will i? the more I learn the less I want to know.   Watched part of a good movie last night right before passing out on my floor.  Only part of the day I didn’t feel like a total piece of crap.  If only I could make it to tangier.  I need to sweat more.  I’m washed up.  Tummy all upset again.  Hard to trust coulthart.  A playful giantess crushing me between her bountiful butt cheeks, giggling.  Alas, not in this lifetime.  Man, I’m depressed.  Just down.  then I was suddenly reminded of a song that reminded me of you and I guess that felt good.  Nice day out.  At least it seems so smelling through my window.  Then I remembered cutups in a cowboy hat while a female centric martial arts movie played in the background.  But that wasn’t you.  Magic.  And the passion.  I’m as troubled as the oyster.  Never be mine.  would like to deep dive coast.  To coast.  But would be selective.  Shuck?  Dreamland.  The high priests and priestesses have me.  the unpublished memoir of the abductionist’s wife has me.  be careful when venturing into the unknown country.  Be careful with the roads you travel.  Be careful that you do not manifest something through belief.  I made it all up but it came true anyway.  What does that make it?  what does it mean?  Sickert and the ripper crimes.  Plush avocado.  Were you high?  Still missing.  You.  “I care about you.”  I keep returning to the same old places.  Creaky memories.  I am going to use them all up.  A work?  old-fashioned. 

seti i put on mix for love and for disgusting unhygienic magic players

 

New Savina has me.  in the worst moments there are reasons.  Water.  It is another sign.  Programming the worm.  I need to have a drink at midnight in every local bar.  I want answers!  I recently ate salmon.  The last decade or so has featured a tremendous amount of failure.  I am no longer capable of a net positive.  Shadows colliding .  I wore my v neck t shirt yesterday for nothing.  Been far too long since I’ve had a pair of used pantyhose wrapped around my face.  I shouldn’t interact with people because I inadvertently spread my disease of failure.  I’m a charmer.  I was always easily available for the positive moments.  Need to reread some stuff.  Post office.  Green.  Again, I understand now the need for those terrifying visions.  Every single afterward was looking for a replacement.  Ate sausage for breakfast.  With honey mustard.  “his mouth watered from the spicy mustard.”  Some of the most brilliant writing of all time?  gorilla creature sex.  Dolphin sex.  If I came back as a dolphin.  Someone once compared it to a too rich piece of chocolate cake.  Fortunate enough to witness piano accompaniment.  Need to drive around with gold experience.   Need to grow a sloppy beard and pose with the laser disc of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.  Or do i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Not sure if I slept okay last night.  I was depressed this morning though.  I suffer from depression.  Love when people say that.  I need to throw away a little rectangular box that’s on my desk.  I need to clean my life up.  Done reminds me of her.  the long game.  How insidious.  How disgusting.  My feelings are fake.  Way out in the sticks.  Highs and lows.  Eating pizza.  Disgusting slob of a man.  Adjudication.  Well that’s a good idea, that’s a good idea!   I’m moving past things.  love Carly Rae.  Felt bad the other night about all the tears spilt over bad checks and a concealed gun with an altered serial number.  Why are you trying to make it worse?  There are truly no good memories of the last several years.  That should feel sad.  But it doesn’t really.  Of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper.  I really do love pop music.  Or do i?  the more l learn the less I want to know.  I suddenly have the feeling that nothing good will ever happen ever again.  It’s my fault though.  That is the energy I am putting out into this universal slipstream so it makes sense that it is what will come back to me.  kissing frogs.  I need a wet shave.  I need to read more garielle.  I recently took a tremendous crap.  Gotta talk to my landlord.  Gotta break the bad news.  Jewish bear has the answers.  Layne.  The river.  Hope.  All these pieces of water around my room . need to write more things in longhand.  Need to write in a composition notebook.  So much desire has left me.  I am dying inside. Hard to write long sentences.  Picard was a perfect sendoff.  Remember that time I really liked that karol g album?  Remember that time I was crying and listening to new lana while falling asleep beneath the covers?  I had popped a pill. Maybe I’ll go get some chicken wings later on.  But really, what the hell would that solve?  It sure wouldn’t take care of the national deficit.  All my friends care deeply about the economy but they’re all phonies so how can I trust them?  The lemon kid!  The eyeball kid!  I was doing some square dancing the other night.  Real shit kicking shit!  One last roll of the dice to make something of my useless life!  It’s a pretty nice day out.  Maybe  I should try not being such an asshole for a change.  Need to buy more ice cube trays.  i only consume ice that’s made the old fashioned way.   Nothing has come close to the icy perfection of ice made by ice trays.  I’ve never really liked margaritas but I’ve ordered my fair share.  Too long I didn’t listen to carly.  Too long I’ve been a worthless asshole.  if only my mother had just aborted me?  tears.  Please please please why didn’t you just fucking abort me?!  you should have just flushed me down the toilet.  Or played a game of baseball with my aborted fetus as the ball!  Pop fly!  My heart rate is up.  Excuse me, I gotta eat some carrots.  I gotta drink a glass of water.  Classic drink.  This album is too much.  In the best way. But I want you in the worst way.  Haha.  That was a joke.  Classic humor.  Lot of heat between charlotte and tiffy.  Not sure what to believe.  “rimmed with deoderantal chalk,”  so revitalizing . it would be nice if I could make everyone forget who I am.  It seems I’ve fallen on vaguer days.  My tummy is unsettled.  Need to drink some of the pink stuff.  I shouldn’t have been so rude to that general contractor.  He was and remains a far greater man than i.  that’s not really so hard since, after all, I’m not worth a tin shit in any way.  Keep thinking maybe I’ll walk into the right place and.  Likely just be ignored.  Like when colleen saw me that one time in the hallway roughly 23 years ago.  Never forget!  That would break me.  I’m going to get this out there and keep a contributor’s copy in my car at all times just in case.  Looking forward to king’s new novel.  Love that poster for the life of.  Could you be the most?  Another worthless day in a life of full of them.  Should have learned a trade.  Should have kept all my pogs.  I like black and white photographs.  I like that one pj Harvey song about saying something.  I miss you dreadfully.  I strongly dislike myself.  Last day of all time.   

...an amazing...

 

Just who the hell was Myrna anyway?  Her story haunts.  Need to wrap my car in tinfoil and hold an impromptu hypnosis session. Need to throw rocks on the ground and call it concrete.  Trying to find the right pantyhose clip to unburden myself.  Giantess in pantyhose.  Pantyhose wrestling.  Smelling dirty pantyhose feet pov.  My stomach hurts.  Need to drink some pepto and eat some canned fish.  Need to start a disinformation campaign against myself.  Sure hope I find a bag of money this week or I won’t be able to pay my rent!  Gotta get my drinking under control! Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  What ever happened to Oscarson?  Very pretty.  Data control.  Need to listen to that new wave album linda Ronstadt put out.  I ate canned fish recently.  Found an old cell phone recently.   Watched a good movie last night.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Majestic . too much revision here . 20% is accurate, right?  Only the most outlandish things are true.  Sickert and the ripper crimes.  I’m taking it slow.  I’m a figure worthy of derision.  Sure hope I find a bag of money soon .  another night of responsibility.  Can’t neglect the longhand.  Breath of fresh ass.  Be wary of those who walk around their apartment with a towel full or oranges wrapped around their head.  Sexy thick thighed plastic man cosplay has me.  received a call from Reconnoiter Whistler Zeke Mahican.  What does it all mean?  Is all hope lost? Donut in the sky.  The devil’s kiss!  Wonderful nomenclature.  I need it so bad.   the pyramid that comes out of the ocean is creating the drones.  Drank some pineapple juice today.  Still the best thing in my life right now.  gonna eat some chicken soon.  And probably some chicken wings tomorrow.  Pamela made me cry.  I wa a fan long before the two belts thing.  Humping the floor again.  Found a loose screw.  Sweet lew!  Silver age delights.  All star.  Loved the new superman footage.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Mengele via stalin was the one responsible for roswell.  Need to buy toilet paper and pineapple juice.  Was dancing to some country western tunes last night following a strong bout of fear.  Sawdust on the floor.  Inactivity can lead to depression. It can be bad if you forget to take your pills. No money.  Sure hope I get a nice surprise in the mail tomorrow.  Perez family made me happy.  Phallus is aromatic again.  Ate some ham recently.  Took a nap on my couch recently.  I’m wearing a v neck t-shirt as a write this.  Need to reread all star.  Need to blow more money.  I need to search every bar while that genesis song plays.  What would be the odds.  Where do you hang at?  I’m drinking less these days.  It has it’s ups and downs.  Left in the error.  Desire is at a low.  feels bad if I don’t write for a couple days.  New dinosaur toys.  New little doggy toys.  Nothing feels good or proper anymore.  But then.  Right before dawn.  Or at the dawn.  Just before dawn or at the down.  unconscious.  You were brought back to me.  or I was brought back to you.  You came back to me.  only eating sugary treats and speaking in a strange near unintelligible dialect.  No, that is something else.  Go sidetracked by reference.  Research.  You came back to me.  while I was sleeping with my head against the window or outside the window of the bar.  you saw me and waved and looked happy to see me.  we hugged.  Did we?  How could I forget?  Let’s just sit for a while.  Like no time has passed.  No explanations necessary.  Apropos or nothing, I’m reading two books with red covers right now.  had to take a quick bite of ice cold ham and do some cyberstalking before continuing.  Pantyhose feet after a hard day at the office.  But that was yesterday.  You looked different.  Alterations.  Still unmistakable.  Then we were in a house, can’t remember how we got there.  full of odd slim men.  A couple of them palling around and one of them being quite critical of the other such that you called the critical one a “nag”.  I was so self conscious sinc you found me at my bed bar with my hair undid.  Did my best to style it using the water from a sink in an industrial style bathroom.  Was that blood on my forehead.  So hard to get off.  from success.  Skye riley! Too sexy!  Need strange new worlds soon.  I related all this information and more to a dear friend using my mouth and the wonders of technology.  Penguins are the best.  Then we were out of the house and walking familiar unexplored streets.  So lovely and simple and happy. Everything I ever wanted.  Because you were okay you were okay I could see and feel that you were okay.  You made a cardboard or a wooden sign.  Was it to be crafts?  Call about a job interview.  I could hear it but it wasn’t on speaker phone.  Back to the bar.  you asked about the word count.  I didn’t have to tell you what I was writing but you asked about the word count.  Sign to finally finish.  This will all be over soon.  In another text someone asked their hand to be held because that’s what people do when waiting for the end.  And then that happened.  The pinky.  Or index.  Recollections.  No longer faith.  Perhaps spurned by the old messages.  But felt so lovely.  And that was around the end of it.  and the mourning came with warmth.  Trying to conjure up more memories.  I am a sad nothing of a person and the forecast is not looking good on how this is all going to turn out.  Water. 

i may again

 

After living with mayhem for a bit.  Allusions.  Fallen angels riding through the tunnel.  Afraid of the natives.  In other news I am desperate for dirty pantyhose clad feet to be rubbed in my face.  Need to go out for a drink, that’ll take the edge off.  loved thunderman.  Key work.  I’m gonna go buy some chicken.  Damn those noisy down below.  Gonna watch more of Brenda Starr.  Oh Brooke in hosiery!  If only after a hard day of investigative journalism  I live for drugs.  Comics with an x.  dug out my old blu ray box set of the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman tv series so I can continue to feel nice and randy.  Need to read more silver age comics.  Golden too.  And that post Miller Daredevil run.  I’m sleepy.  Some whiskey will help with that.  it is so draining to be a failure.  Need water again.  Need ten of water.  Last night so whimsical.  Sacred geometry on flesh.  Shirt.  Hours of nothing.  Need water.  Ten of it.  that is maybe the only chance he has to crawl out of it.  maybe read a memoir of someone I’ve never heard of.  Everything shaking.  Pull myself up off the floor.  Cassavettes.  Need to have a wet shave. Need to get that silver age omnibus.  Been watching the bay a lot lately.  If only it had been anyone but Slater that mess of a baboon story could have worked.  Still, the other two almost made it happen.  Another thousand today as my overall value continues to decline.  My sleeves are rolled up.  Ezada.  Lovely.  Cracked blue.  Denier . flowing black.  Need to get doom generation.  Thought I had but no.  traci lords and jesus lizard accompany me as I near the final stretch of the first down under iteration.  You them her wear the tights!  One of the greatest lines of all time?  recently shot my load.  All I could afford was the feet but it was more than enough.  My tummy hearts.  Probably eat some microwavable slop for dinner.  The day goes by fast when you sleep through half of it.  fearless has been added to the list.  I recently finished reading a book and watched the film adaptation that same night and greatly enjoyed them both.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  And the lights came up.  Happened so quick that the lights came up.  Golding.  All shames exposed.  It was like the times before but there was something hopelessly lost.  My creep eyes staring around and zoning on something undeserving.  I go out so I can experience the good and proper self loathing.  I crave humiliation and need to feel normal.  I’m reading about a unicorn.  Been watching a lot of good movies lately.  I understand too these strange texts I am seeking out.  Akin to religion.  Even through fear, the need for something more helps to offset the failure and futility of my pathetic existence.  How sad.  Roberts creepy in 80.  But great.  zwan really cranked apparently.  Redbricked.  Not the right word.  But so much like that later raw mix of power.  Violent.  The proof is in the pudding, he said.  Regina, the nicest of all of them on the home shopping channel.  Missing Sofia.  Replacement parts are not adding up.  You go to the familiar place of sin for relief only to be crippled again and again by that punishing absence.  I lost my zwan stickers.  I’ve shown a lack of self control recently.  So sad.  So someone last night.  Pink lace brassiere.  The pounds and inches melt off when you imbibe less.  Or do they?  The more I learn the less I want to know.   Scream 2 is among my very favorites.  Air smells good.  Sinn rewarded with a pantyhose clad foot pic.  Yawning lately. Need to drink some coffee.  Need to have a wet shave.  Mayhem still working.  I’m so empty.  The turner stuff almost reads too well, too fluid and genre oriented.  Why can’t I just disappear?!  Gotta disappear! Gotta disappear!  Water.  An arcade.  A brother? A twin?  Shoots on the warrior. Killing massive crab aliens.  I miss so much.  Bruiser had his place in the business.  White man’s burden.  two really terrific asses.  You can have whatever you want.  Double whiskey and three screwdrivers later I was stumbling through the dark.  Now the coffee has me.  I’m all a jitters.  The Turner stuff has me.  deonna.  My alcoholism has become too prevalent.  Or has it?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Whole place reeks of sausage.  Ate sausage for dinner last night and for breakfast this morning.  Probably gonna buy a meatball sub later on.  The soul stuff.  All this hippy new age crap.  Crystals.  Someone standing in the corner.  Couldn’t perform when it was asked of me.  sex is alien.  Cake in a can!  Severed rubber hands covered in blood!  That one’s for.  You have to live!!!  An old western saloon in an underground military base.  No one important around last night.  Not entirely true.  Tomatoes.  Was watching Barbarella last night.  Melted screwdriver has me.  thought it sounded like a good idea til I realized he was talking about murder.  Brutal fucking murder!!!  But is that really necessary.  Time to open up a can.  I don’t like chunky soup.  I like stew though.  Renie!  I like things that don’t make sense.  I got a lot of negative balances.  Pulping.  Everything shaking.  The buck stops here.  playing dice on wood.  Should I read the Roth bio?  Need to read a more boring life.  The Excessive Machine.  Need to get some sun.  I’m deteriorating.  Been drinking a lot of pineapple juice lately and it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I miss you dreadfully.  Maybe I am being given clues as to how to proceed.  Just gotta write it all down.  and stay indoors.  Muse gone.  Amazon in booty shorts.  Terrific ass.  I don’t know me. 

S.S.S.

 

            I will never solve any mysteries.  More failure.  Failure stacked atop failure.  Much imbibing while reflecting on a native friend.  an awful person I wish I could be.  I need to buy a bright red bed spread.  I need to drink more often.  Last night telling me about a DUI and a totaled car.  They were surgically inserting wings into people.  There was something else too but I’ve since forgotten.  ugly goatees on bloated disgusting pale men.  Waiting for mayhem to commence in less than a week.  Comforted last night by wood.  Beating the meat to a Brazilian bbw.  All that pressure on one head.  I’m also believing the strangest things these days; loving the alien.  A rare moment of self control the other day.  dousing the thing in aftershave and tossing it in the rubbish bin.  Doesn’t really matter though.  Still a failure in all the ways that count.  Such a small meaningless life.  Smelling old pages.  This is too disparate.  I need to find the rhythm again.  Oculars are going on me.  gotta set the type size real big.  Issue with tissue.  Can only eek things out in loving diarrhea esque spurts.  Doesn’t quite add up.  Tips of fingers smell like the sweat the inner leg crease at the crotch.  All that hair.  I rematerialized.  “can you watch my purse for me?” she asked with a smile and the most stoned eyes I’d ever seen.  Couldn’t finish the last screwdriver.  Couldn’t form sentences anymore.  Voice was deep and dumb.  I shook hands for the departure.  Shaking hands is so classy.  Good to avoid unnecessary contact.  No easy way to say that morning as I was handed a white envelope.  One extra week.  Not bad I suppose.  Then I had a breakfast of oatmeal, bacon and black coffee.  Then sliders at lunch while talking about the uncertain future with someone pretty and competent.  Then I got the last copy.  Then I resisted.  The oilman is down for the count it seems.  Even after he bought those crystals.  Crystals and then taking out the trash, an equation that led to short lived exclusivity.  Word looks weird.  “you’re not her,” he was thinking.  When he should have been focusing more on the murders on the train.  Damn, there were a lot of people there last night.  The normal people don’t have an outlet.  Smiling monkey wants the cherries.  Swords being swung.  Red hair has me rarely.  I’m part of the cast.  A very sad pitiable figure.  Thursday night riff raff.  I love hateful glances.  “where is the morning in my life?”  end things??  need to drink more coffee in a bit.  Then happiness.  Have to prepare for the week end appearance.  Ringing in the new phase of failure.  I quite like pop music.  I drink a lot of mango juice and apricot juice.  Funny how funny Americans find sex.  Obsessed but so immature.  Funny I am unable to succeed at anything.  I’m going to eat chicken later on.  Screwdriver in my stomach while the police are interrogating me.  do so little and can’t even do that well.  Think I’ll order a margarita tonight.   Hell, it’s my own damn fault.  Ate a meatball sub the other day.  was tasting it for hours.  No more crapping at mcdonald’s for me! ate a mcdonald’s breakfast this morning!  Needed more sausage.  Gas bill is gonna go down.  would like to eat pasta soon.  Feeling kinda sleepy now?  maybe time for coffee?  Maybe reread soon that book with the green and black cover.  Need to keep expectations low so I don’t disappointment myself even more.  He is capable of very little.  Storks.  One last roll of the dice.  Maybe get some fresh air soon.  Submit submit submit.  Horses soon?  I’ve all the time in the world.  Or do I?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Does jewish bear have the answers I seek?  Is all hope lost?  Donut in the sky.  Can’t find Bronson.  Two rubber crocodiles.  Need to read some Gifford soon.  Of course: right angle rooms.  Drilling through the spirit….   Dj.  Camel shit. It’s no game.  Gotta get back to the eyeball kid. The lemon kid.  Fifth dimension.  Or is the fourth?  All black grid. Evil in architecture.  Kisses from a nonspeaking nurse.  Seemed alien.  Stallion.  Number four all blue and wishful.  There was me, looking for a total mindfuck from the goddess.  Various iterations of mindfucks through the years.  Word on the streets is that a fake alien invasion is being planned.  Global stoppage.  My God the country’s going to run out of food!!!  Dark angel at the hockey game.  Threatening the make up lady in previous days.  Here I sit covered in grease.  Need to indulge more in mayhem.  Need to buy red wine and cereal.  The costuming of Shields has me.  the reporting.  Used to be you could trust reporting. Abel thought so.  Before that stay in the hotel looking for the perfect blow job (it’s gotta be perfect).  Cole blew his brains out the day after a night of hard drinking, long removed from a decade of plastic.  This country thrives on the plastics industry.  That strange man and the assistance he receives from his implant.  Captivated two days and two hours in a row.  Maybe make time for all the Caroline iterations.  Need to start drinking soon.  Learning about man of storms.  Two rubber crocs or gators providing assistance.  Can feel rejuvenation.  I’m a weak man.  Sometimes a week man.  But not now, not for the time being.  Frogman likes the plastic.  Rediscovering the richness of the old thick grainy stock.  Man walking out of a burning fuselage.  Man trying to kick a junk habit.  I’m always trying to kick.  Not really.  Again, I’m looking for the mindfuck.  Positively gooning for it while the High Priests and Priestesses of fear continue to fuck my life up, just burn it right to the ground, in truly ghastly and unimaginable ways.  But the Dark Angel smile makes everything alright.  always wistful thoughts of her at the dawn, wishing she would dislocate my shoulder and ask me questions in broken english.