a pretty (that was ref to last time but now orange is far more appropriate and please just le

 

DONE

I’m no Johnny-come-lately.  I know all about the Kelly Cahill case.  I know about a lot of crap I really shouldn’t.  I really shouldn’t eat all the ice cream.  I really shouldn’t.  my life is disposable crap.  I just said that out loud.  Anything bad in it is my fault though.  I’m shit so everything that comes from me is shit.  The drawings associated with that case as ever scare me.  Red eyes.  That’s interesting.  I can’t recall too many accounts with red eyes. 

I read a slim gory western in a day the other day and it was quite good and I quite enjoyed the experience.  I think very soon I will read another

BRUTAL FUCKING MURDER, I cried out with a Polish accent. 

Amarillo.  My God, I’d forgotten.  Please, let me one day make that right.  When I remembered that I’d forgotten I was looking out the window of a plane and starting down at an island near the west coast of costa rica.  Oh how I cried and threw fits back in the day.  That was the awful summer afterward, wasn’t it.  I hate you so much.  Well, it seems you’ve learned how to sign my name.  Gus Pike! Be careful of Gus Pike! Why am I the only one who’s happy? 

Sara again.  The temptress.  The seductress.  In my dreams the executrix.  Oh sweet denier.  Research. 

Along with this a new Ana Barbara video.  This makes me.  Oh God, everything.  Rituals have me.  And then realizing the other Barbara is from beyond.  Of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper.  Being me is such an awful thing.  I so often don’t want to be me.  But I realize it is entirely my fault.  All these bad things are my fault.  Exquisite emptiness inside of me.  Vampiric in the future. 

You know what I’ve really been enjoying?  The Dirty Harry films! I have 1 left to watch but I find it to be a great and fascinating series.  Or do i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Might be fun to buy some wax today.  Might be fun to buy some coffee.  Giantess videos have me.  Vore has me.  No satisfaction from anything at this point.  Because I am empty inside.  Grey in my head now.  Yellow papers.  I’ve enjoyed some western books I’ve read recently.  Need to read more westerns.  Read a gory one the other week, complimented the author.  Head feels so bad.  Broken while on the way.  Big fucking broken machine.  Machinery has me.  Metal sculpture.  Rivers of molten metal.  Blood later on. 

Now so empty.  All my fault.  I am very very empty.  Gonna watch a vampire movie soon.  I was sitting inside but wishing I was outside.  I think.  Mysticism.  I scheduled something so unbelievably piss poorly today.  What a horse’s ass I am.  Yet still going through the pages was good.  Maybe wouldn’t have had chance for pages without piss poor planning.  Then I ate fish.  Raised the light.  Then I remembered from beyond.  How could I not realize from beyond.  I like that kind of thing although I can’t say for sure cause I really have no idea.  Disgraced now but I liked the one iteration with the deformed fruit and recurrent pink and magenta hues (asylym referencing).  Gonna hang out later but with little desire. 

Oh God it’s all so meaningless.  Nickel plated! Nickel plated!  I’m crying, no I was crying multiple times.  Just last night.  Yesterday afternoon to early evening.  It was all so tender.  So lovely and tender.  And now, knowing the truth I can see everything from a different light.  There’s still time, it’s not too late for me.  Looking right at me when those words appeared.  Floating in the water.  Tears always threatening to spill out.  Changes.  There’s still time.  So lovely and tender.  I am so incredibly sad.  I feel bad all the time.  My only source of comfort comes from imagining that I am dead.  I ate spaghetti last night. 

On the way was the second of the large collection. I felt emancipated.  Yes, it was so many years ago during the formative years with the Italian who was not an Italian.  That this purchase was made.  I still have it.  Broken off.  Always was.  Always loved.  Forgotten how much I love the second.  Lush. That is the description I would give.  Lush.  Maybe get wax at some point.  Overlooked?  Underrated?  Hard to say.  But some of that stuff is top top shelf.  Made me feel good for just a moment. 

And living water too of course.  Need to strip everything away except for the living water.  There’s still time ,it’s not too late form.  So lovely and tender.  But there are connections.  Need to rid myself of.  Too bad I can’t rid myself of myself.  If I could just rub it all out, starting with myself.   Borrowed jacket. Too much professionalism.  How could he ever have valued this?  Always confusing what is important.  And what’s inside the glass slows it all down.  Summer soon.  Need latin.  I feel so very sad.  Doesn’t really matter though.  Need to throw on my owl costume and say that nothing matters.  Because I have nothing to say.  That’s the most brutal realization.  Known it for a while though.  Put me in that old folks home and let me absolve others of their sins. 

Cran.  I like the color turquoise I think.  La la la la la la, la, la la la, la la la.  And then under that is the groove.  What would you do for a second chance with…. He wishes he could just start over.  But no fugue for me.  Isn’t that awful?  No matter how hard I could pretend I would still be me.  It would never work because I would still be me. 

I’m going to eat a soft baked breakfast bar.  I didn’t go to the grocery store yesterday.  It hurts to talk to people.  It hurts to see them.  I just feel so bad all the time.  I like to drink and go to sleep.  I wish I wasn’t so worthless.  Haha, isn’t that funny?  I laugh at my insipid melodrama.  I’m such a putrid person  I really fucking hate my pathetic worthless self.  I don’t have many good childhood memories.  But that doesn’t mitigate what a useless adult I am.  Or does it?  The more I learn the less I want to know.  No, it definitely doesn’t.  need to stop little star but can’t yet cause I am weak.  I don’t have the chops.  I can’t cut the mustard. 

The illusory construct.  Eva.  No, the illusory construct of Itsaso.  Is it all the same thing?  It must be for me.  She can comfort me.  She can see me and cry with me.  Hahaha, I’m such a loser.  I don’t actually deserve any of that.  But please, just leave me with those fleeting thoughts. 

the dying over there

 

Saw mickey mouse with his face melted off.  Mickey mouse skull.  Day before easter saw a woman wearing blue lace bra and panties with bunny ears and a little tail.  That was sexy.  It didn’t mean anything though.  It registered but didn’t mean anything.  It’s all just information.  Need to watch flashdance again.  Need to read more often.  Vivian’s tears.  It was far too long.  I wish I was an opium addict.  I need to sit my stupid ugly ass down in the corner somewhere and think about triangles for a damn long time.  I still think the end of The Blair Witch Project is very damn scary. 

I wish that I and everyone had appreciated Elizbeth more when there was time.  Lone Star is everything. 

The drama of Raising the Bar stems from the inherent disfunction within our legal system.  The reminds me of the time my blowtorch accidentally went off in a crowded room.  This was around the time I first learned what love truly was. 

I need tropical hot dog night.  That always makes me feel better.  Is there a second act or is this it? 

Of course I loved everything related to the hollow.  It felt delightful. More of that and less of the pretty faces though in many other circumstances the pretty faces are very alley!  It made me remember how much I long to once again see the 90’s Land of the Lost series.  I would do anything for that series.  I hate myself.  I hate my childhood and I hate the childhood me.  But I also hate the adult me.  I hate the adult me more.  Both the child and the adult me are worthless and stupid but the child one at least has an excuse cause kids are naturally dumb. 

Were to start living off the land I would change my name to dimensional gates.  Do we all remember when porn star Hot Gates began to utilize fourth world iconography.  I think it was right at the end there.  The comedy to the tragedy.  Real vibrant color.  Pen and an imac.  That’s all it really takes in the final analysis. 

I’m evil I’m evil I’m evil!  All I want to know is what the geniuses at Lucky Charms have up their collective sleeve this time?  God, I need a drink.  After work I’m gonna get real fucked up on cheap whiskey and think about Lucky Charms.  Then I’m going to say in my thick Irish brogue “nobody will get their hands on me unlucky worms!”

Blue hammer, I think I had a blue hammer once.  Red screwdriver, green wrench and orange pliers maybe.  They were all in a small plastic bag.  ASMR had him.  Someone body slammed the door saying there was a deadly creature but then there was nothing. 

Heartache in the night again, oh well it doesn’t really matter.  All the things I cause don’t matter.  Polish night music helped me immensely the other day.  And a crocodile too.  My eyes are burning right now.  Industrial culture.  The daughter of Vulcan.  Molten metal.  Everything liquid metal.  Glorious rivers of liquid metal.  Everyone always fucks things up in the end.  The human body is disgusting.  Disgust is something I commonly feel.  I love to be alone.  Miriam had me the other day.  Sweetest sin.  Descending again.  Always.  I need to drink some coffee now.  Middle of the night discovery again down that familiar road.  Secret school haunting. 

I read something about plants the other and then I made spaghetti but I called it macaroni.  Tangerine this morning (thief).  Some days I feel.  I’m the gentleman who fell.  I don’t know how.  Which connection I should cut. Is this a moment of clarity.  Can I get rid of that one thing?  Once I clear up the accruals. 

I watched that thing with the ballet over the weekend.  Adoration. Always on my mind.  No, ballet isn’t correct.   I’m such a fucking idiot.  Modern.  It’s modern in a period setting.  Berlin of course.  I think.  I don’t know anything.  I like all the iggy references in the other thing I’m not currently discussing.  I am she.

Theatre and masquerade always break my heart.  All artifice.  All glorious and beautiful artifice.  Apropos of nothing, I’m waiting at the bottom of the stairs.  I need to know if I’m wasting my time.  If so, nickel plated needs to be accelerated.  But it’s not time yet.  True attempts must be made.  Sontag’s words valuable.

Need to consider when the passing out occurs.  Everything ongoing.  Tears halting for the moment.  Realization.  All of use in our beautiful artifice.  I hate myself so much.  I’m at my happiest when I’m asleep.  The sad thing is even in those moments – even in dreams – I can’t escape being me.  Hahaha that’s so pathetically melodramatic.  I’m such a piece of shit.  I’m fat and ugly too.  I really hate my dumb fucking ugly ass self. 

The quarantine has been very kind to Miriam.  She destroyed me.  No macaroni and cheese this time though. 

Have I overrated the dark knight all these years?  Possible.  More though required.  Need to watch flashdance again.  I ate corned beef hash the other day.  It was a satisfying meal.  Listened to a charly Garcia album while driving around.  Going nowhere.  That’s me.  Going nowhere.  Reminds me of a valentine’s day from so long ago.  Cruise me.  Maybe I just to engage in a more meta take, meta analysis.  Something like that.  Can’t think right now but I know I’m full of crap.  I can’t depend on anyone and it’s a glorious feeling.  I’m busy.  I like the. 

I’ve really been enjoying the series I’m working through and can how it influences what came later.  3 out of 5 currently.  I might eat pickles today.  The rhapsody in blue is all gone from me.  Everything is illusory.  The muses are illusory.  Little star falling.  I love to be used because I deserve it.  There is really no one left.  Except.  She liked vampire novels.  It’s the only way I can know her mind.  New year, new life.  White on valentines.  Are you okay?    

It’s my fault.  You get the relationships you deserve in life. 

design ofdidn't liek mec (avoid Siberian Q)

 Big bucks.  Of course I’m think of wearing a white suit and walking with a limp.  A wrinkled suit preferably.  Check out this chicken outfit.  What?  Chicken outfit!  Brief and brief.  Inventing the language.  Red tint in the bar.  I feel so depressed right now.  Grey clouds inside my head.  They are unusually heavy. Someone blathering on in my ear.  Everyone tells me about their lives and I don’t care.  I wish just about everyone would never talk to me. Nickel plated.  That is the one which is catching my buyer’s eye.  But I don’t dare do it.  Because one night I’d just decide to cash in my chips and then BLAM! my worthless brains stain the dry wall.  In another time I was listening to a couple women discuss a bullfrog and dry humping the drywall.  That spun out of a deep sense of disappointment.  Over and over again.  Anyone could have written those particular songs.  Been listening to that collection of Nancy Sinatra songs called Start Walkin’ recently.  Or have i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  And some other stuff.  The Sontag book is comforting so far.  I don’t really like it when people comfort me because it feels fake and icky.  I really like Iggy Pop.  I’ve been reading Garth Ennis’s Punisher comics and I’m liking what I’m reading so far.  I feel so tired.  Ayelet is so beautiful.   I’m halfway through that miniseries of her’s and she is so lovely and SEXY.  I know what I’m craving.  Something about little cafés and bars.  To be away from everything and be able to be inside a little café in the afternoon and a little dive bar at night.  The only discussion I want is about the only things that matter which is almost nothing.  And it hit that the joel photos and the cipher and the millennium antics and what’s happening outside and industrialization are all connected and all part of the same coin but the phrase the same coin doesn’t make any sense at all here.   I might watch a horror movie later on.  It’s all my fault.  I’m such a worthless person.  Macaroni and cheese the other day.  So cheesy.  It was at the so cheesy part that I utterly lost it.  Stains for days.  Why is all meaning disappearing.  Freddy vs Jason is my favorite vs movie.  Peter hook is such an inspiration.  I forgot to bring my copy of opium confessions today.  I need to carry it with me at all times.  It’s fun to remove bad things from your life but for me to be fully successful I would have to remove myself.  Back to nickel plated again.  Maybe pearl but I think I prefer wood.  I’ve always been a wood man. I remember now the way you said the word torture.  It was so cute.  I remember a nice purple shirt.  I remember fish and chips (TEN DOLLARS FOR FISH AND CHIPS WHAT THE FUCK?!) and how they had precise geometrical shapes and I remember strange dogs and overcooked red meat and odd pasta and newspaper articles and discussions about the depiction of the native American Indian in pop culture and the Italian who wasn’t Italian and so much bullshit because I was so full of shit but this yes this is what he wanted and wants probably maybe though in reality everything will always be ruined because it always comes back to and down to him and him is me and I am a total piece of shit and all these moments are on constant playback and they flash before me over and over again and so I am constantly reminded of what a useless failure I am and only one way to annihilate these worthless thoughts and memories (worthless because everything coming from me is worthless) and we’re back to nickel plated again (pearl or wood?).  things  I like: kate bush’s music and gloria estefan’s music and thalia’s music.  And that last bat for lashes album had some things I could wrap around me.  I like Iggy’s avenue b album a lot and Danielle de niese.  And bebel’s albums have felt really good recently.  I often don’t feel as bad when I drink alcohol.  I drink a lot.  I suspect that I drink more than I should.  Rubber ass.  Diana vs.  can’t even fill this up.  Can’t even make this quota.  Cause there’s nothing to me.  I need to read Ada’s instructions, maybe that will help.  I’m a sinking ship.  My brain is a sinking ship.  Would like to learn kiss me on the bass.  Looks well within my sucky ass capabilities.  My stomach hurts right now.  Lots of times it feels like I’m experiencing everything through a pane of glass.  My stomach does hurt.  Esoteric beliefs.  Feels like no one’s really done an in depth analysis of the communion stuff.  I ate oreos the other day.  Where is all the true beauty anymore.  I don’t understand anyone.  I love being by myself.  I don’t like looking at people and I don’t like listening to this them.  Haris’s music has made me feel calm sometimes.  There is something illusory in my brain that at times approaches beautiful but again, it is illusory.  Fantasy.  That chunk of time came and went with no appreciable difference made.  Par for the course.  I can’t find any meaning anymore. True?  Just got to get it out of the system.  My eyes look tired.  There is no spark of anything left in them.  Maybe if I started playing Pengo at all hours of the day my life would make sense.  Maybe then I could be someone.  I liked that Gore movie I watched the other day.  Liked it a lot actually.  Blue.  I’ll have to show it someone and then not talk about it.  I prefer not talking these days.  I prefer nothing.  I’m going to eat a rotten apple.  I didn’t sleep well last night.  Too much haunting imagery. 

MY FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2019!

 

After months of teases and building anticipation here is my list of my favorite movies of 2019!  To be clear, I’m not saying these were the BEST movies of that great year!  They are merely MY PERSONAL FAVORITES.  I have shit taste and I’m a stupid person.  obviously I didn’t see everything that came out in 2019 but this is the list set in stone.  So even if I see 10 movies tomorrow that were released in 2019 and are all better than these 10 I would still not change this sacred list.  I started drinking around 10 am this morning, trying to quash this awful feeling.  It is the feeling of being a worthless person.  the alcohol doesn’t make me feel better necessarily but it numbs me and that’s good enough.  Sleeping also helps.  I love being asleep.  I’m probably going to make a big purchase soon.  Spending money makes me feel better in the short term. 

Before I start a few honorable mentions that remained just barely outside the top 10:  Serenity/the beach bum – I can’t separate these two flicks given their kinda similar setting and the lead actor (who’s gamely destroyed all the good will of the McConaissance but seemingly boldly as a choice!).  Serenity has one of the most audacious and ridiculous revelations and for that I give it made points!  And Beach Bum is just silly pretty crudola that I love and goes good with the other films of that director’s oeuvre.  Knives Out  - this is very entertaining and suspenseful and funny with some nice symbolism stuff.  Great time.  Also, i always try and single out my favorite show of the year and that was WATCHMEN which expanded bueatifully upon the mythology and created it’s own zany crazy intense beautiful thing. 

10. Hustlers – love the Goodfellas feel of it all!  And Lopez’s performance! And just all the life goodliness of it all!  It was just a great honest HEARTFELT film! 

9. The Forest of Love – Every Sion Sono movie is a like a large sandwich of crazy shit.  It always leaves me exhausted and in love with the artform of cinema and even more regretful that I’ve wasted my life and that I’m a worthless person . no one else is to blame, it’s my fault for being so useless this movie had Sono’s classic deranged characters and bizarre thick plot.  Love that monologue at the end.  What a damn movie!  

8.     Crawl – great lark.  And I love great lark.  And ends at just the right moment.  And has a dash of Pepper! And a cute dog! And a strong performance by the lead actress! Perfect lark!  I can put this on any time, even when I just want to die (which is almost always)! 

7.     John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum– the John Wick series is the current gold standard for Stateside action flicks (along with the Mission Impossible movies).  They are symphonic spectacles that captivate me!  and the immersive mythology is icing on the cake.    

          6.     Joker – certainly the most controversial of the mainstream movies released last year! I remember going opening night and seeing police officers in all the nooks and crannies of the theatre. I’ve lost my ability to write.  Criticisms are apt: it is a shameless Scorcese rip off.  But it has a great and scary and tragic lead performance by Joaquin Phoenix and raises genuinely interesting questions about social services in the US and about our gleeful propensity to make “others” out of others.  I dunno.  I hate myself

5. Burning – haunting and beautiful . Can’t get it out of my head. 

 

4.     Dragged Across Concrete – new cop classic.  And I love cop stuff.  This one so gritty it makes me want to eat a sandwich or gouge my eyes out.  I celebrate this director’s entire filmography. Masterful filmmaking here.  It burns brighter than a            thousand evil mad sorcerers. Seriously, this is crime perfection with a great performance from Mel.  Great fucking writing and atmosphere and whatever.  This a perfect crime epic.  Please give me more movies like this!!  I really hate myself because I’m an ugly worthless failure.  Time to just call it a day?  

 

3.     The Lighthouse – this will be my midnight movie for years to come! Just a perfect slice of something!  Dark comedy or odd Bergmanesque quasi horror or something!  It’s dark and gorgeous and hilarious and stirring or whatever with two amazing actors and every scene is golden and it makes me squeal with girlish glee! 

2.     Dolor y Gloria – I adore Almodovar.  I can’t say if this is his best film because he has too many amazing films.  But this one deeply touched me.  It’s all about the glories and restorative properties of….    Banderas’s best performance?!  I’ll be watching this one until the end of time.  Beautiful movie.  Lovely.  Perfection. Restorative powers!  Oh I’m so grateful for this amazing movie!   

1.     The Irishman – This is a sumptuous film.  The type of movie that makes me want to postpone my suicide! It only could have come from Marty.  Effectively closing the book on the mafioso genre he helped usher in (that final shot could not be more perfect and haunting as a capper).  I’ve had this movie on in the background for the past 3 weeks while I’ve stewed in debilitating self loathing.  Oh God, I really hate myself but its only because I’m a worthless failure.  Usually I’m glad that I don’t own a firearm because I know I would decide to use it on myself one night and just check out for good.  But it’s for that same reason that I sometimes wish I had one.  The Irishman and the movie he made before this one (Silence) are the epic one-two-punch that perfectly closes out a towering and legendary career!  This is a rich flick.  Compelling! I get lost in it!  And all the leads do expert work!  The gang’s all back for one last hurrah! Going out in style.  Leaving it all on the table!  Pure cinema!  

there's my list! nothing's changed! i still suck! i'm still a loser.  ugly worthless individual.  my head always feels full of grey clouds.  it's worse in the morning i think . whatever, doesn't really matter i guess

 

another throwaway, still old and useless

 

so i have at last finished Tom King's run on Batman (granting that the Batman Catwoman miniseries just launched), culminating in #85, the conclusion of City of Bane.  And i can say now that it is a MIXED BAG! isn't that brilliant analysis.  i found much of it to be meandering.  There was a quite a bit of filler.  On the other hand it made me actually LOVE Thomas Wayne who was a character i had abosloutely no interest in after the AWFUL Flashpoint story from a few years and all that button and clock crapola that DC put out.  So yeah, I would really like to see that iteration of Thomas Wayne in a feature film sometime down the road!  i dunno, lots of literary allusions, lots of needless jumping around in the timeline (which looks to only continue in the Batman Catwoman series).  a gigantic amount of bat cat.  Some really pretty art.  I don't love this run at all (except for Thomas Wayne stuff), much of it was overplotted and the Knightmares stuff was bleh.  But i don't hate it either.  As someone who's never been much interested in the comics version of Catwoman this run didn't do much to change my mind (maybe the problem is with me then?!) but all the romance and wedding stuff wasn't bad either.  I didn't hate the run! it was just somewhere in the middle for me.  I'll probably forget most of it in not much time.  Looking forward to see what comes next.  I think maybe the utterly rancid Heroes in Crisis tainted my Tom King feelings a bit.  maybe i'll reread it some day.  also, i'm tired of writers having scenes where ALL rogues (aside from the main villain, ie Bane in several scenes) are either easily utilized or easily dispatched.  ENOUGH.  wait, i remember liking the war of jokes and riddles but now i can't remember much of it.  always nice to see poison ivy.  didn't like the booster stuff that much.  the wonder woman stuff was fine but that story had already been done years ago with Superman and Lois. i dunno, i feel like i'm being mean to Tom King.  GREAT RUN! The best of all time maybe! ugh, i didn't really like the freeze trial stuff either.  man, i guess i'm more not a fan of this run than a fan.  eh, all this decompression (Miller packed so much in 4 issues) and all this deconstruction (but not at Moore level! nowhere near!).  I liked the KGBeast stuff.  oh and the Alfred stuff was kinda cheap.  Gotham Girl is kinda cool (and i liked Finch's interpretation of her, not sure about the platinum kryptonite thing, i like someone like Morrison could have done something hip with that).  and I liked the beach stuff!  ugh, but all the slapping and moping. and the Alfred stuff!  and all the retroactive planning!  Damn, what a MIXED BAG!  

 

on a side note, i've always loved The Ventriloquist.  always happy to see him.  I need to pick up that Azzarello trade.  Azzarello's stuff always ages real well for me.  could that character work in a feature film?  I think so, but probably best as a side villain and not the main antagonist.  I’m going to use thrift to acquire the sequential iteration of steak being the most stressful meal to cook, you know?  I didn’t properly appreciate the first time around.  Mayhaps I’ll also use it in the service of precious metals.

 

I need to figure out what all this scratch and dent shit is all about.  Coffin has me.  Oh, and I just discovered, unrelated but maybe kind of related in a real roundabout way: she has her own channel.  Separate from the glam.  Dear God, let this not be another glorious delusion.  And already, in the deep black.  On another unrelated note but kinda related in a roundabout way all the holofoil chromium shiny shit really works for me.  Got a head full of bad wiring I guess.  Probably has to do with the formative years.  I’m all washed up.  Once I get my act together I will be ordering a box. Boxes are everything.  Gold emblazoned I think.  Foils again.  Foils and hosiery are everything to me.  And being electrocuted.  The hotel again last night as I drifted away.  Late at night I drift away.  Takes me back to some great wasted years where every night culminated in a loving imaginary language and even once when they were trying to take me away I was not scared ( I was drifting).  But yes at the hotel again, forever and a day.  So perfect, surrounded by the red, so empty.  How everything is empty.  Nothing everywhere.  I was at the hotel but not the motel.  The motel usually comes later (an old hell, nothing like it).  It’s all meaningless.  Maybe that’s why I squeal with glee when I hurl myself off the balcony (not quite a balcony, can’t think of the word, faceless commercial hub makes sense, everything nondescript, connection impossible).

Now I understand the meaning of scratch and dent.  Of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper. 

And then with the window open and the thoughts of summer dress (never seen) my mind wandered back to the writings of O.  I can’t recall if the missing iteration ever turned.  But of course, who else would know but i?  new year, new life.  That was near the end, yes?  Not quite the end but very near.  Setup.  Classic beauty.  Madness.  Love white and black.  Magenta of course.  And then white and red once.  Perhaps teal as well.  Did these things really happen?  So lovely.  Thinking about magenta underneath, red underneath, black underneath.  So lovely.  Completely subsumed.  At mercy.  Under. Now the desperate retroactive search.  The names.  What were the names?!  The answers lie in the tortured and blissful memories.  Oh to lie in sweetest sin.  Oh to die in your arms.  I miss you dreadfully. 

 

throwaway, old and useless

 

perhaps against better judgment i am excited for the upcoming The Stand miniseries.  Or am i?  the more i learn the less i want to know.  i was a big fan of the book when i finally got around to reading it.  i found it to aggressively live up to the hype.  i am happy with the casting choices of Flagg and Mother Abigail.  if i were still into toys i'd check out the raw10 toys.  they have a boyish charm to them that would make me feel like a kid again.  coffin comics.  i've ordered several comics recently.  all this funding.  i approve of this new way of doing things.  collecting coffins and frogs and black magic.  i recently watched the director's cut of American Gangster.  i saw the theatrical cut in theatres very long ago, the day of release if i remember correctly!  i've been reading and loving an Elmore Leonard book these past few days.  i cried for several hours a couple nights ago.  i am still very much in Dern's corner. Now I’m reading and loving a big Clive Barker book.   the book i'm reading (was) has an orange cover with a dolphin on it.  i feel so empty all the time.  a new joker series?!  is there any character more overexposed in comics than the joker?!  i'm not excited.  but i dig the artist so i'll probably be a sucker and buy.  i'm also way behind on the batbooks so maybe i'll like punchline.  who the hells knows.  i don't know which author i love more between Elmore Leonard and Barry Gifford. Not sure why I feel the need to choose.  how dumb of me.   i am excited for the crime syndicate series that was announced though! im a big fan of the syndicate! superwoman!  yes.  embargo lifting.  i have some doubts.  but i am excited.  pink cover again on the way.  i like this trend with ridges.  superheroine cosplay has me.  my middle name is earl.  i read the gail ethan sensation thing and didn't like it very much and now i remember that i don't like the way gail writes diana.  never have.  never will!  and now i see that this new celluloid iteration will crib something from Ghost Whisperer year 4! the greatest of all years.  and now that the appraisals are trickling in my excitement levels are growing.  i ate garbage for lunch.  i need to be able to watch that cup.  it looks great.  and the sister of the small temptation, stunning.  and shani like i've never seen before.  submission at the end with the namesake (lady before) of the woman whose appraisals i was just discussing.  actually, half a namesake now that i think about it.  and the most violent.  28.  i missed 28 and that is the reality.  but in this day and age nothing is truly gone forever.  i'm going to go to a department store soon.  i'm going to buy a lot of captain america comic books soon.  glory as well.  and fighting american or whatever the hell.  or maybe not.  i don't know anymore.  odyssey too.  gotta catch up.  i do so love.  

 

a convincing jobber is so important.  such nobility in the jobber.  such satisfaction.  

i get the controversy but i am a liefeld fan.  looking for the cap lot first.  then i need to figure out all the image stuff.  the bibliography.  too much blood.  too much youth.  

 

its incredible to think that The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen both hit in 1986.  Those two changed everything.  Revolutionary books.  need to watch the abel documentary thing.  and i need to renew my criterion subscription and watch the atom thing before i lose my chance.  New rose again.  I get it.  Always being called back.  In dirty pages and celluloid. 

 

The power of women in spandex.  Fabrics have me.  slime monsters.  i am deeply controlled.  mirage.  i don't know if that's the right word.  but now remaining trapped there with lasers firing off.  audio is the key.  invisible drones.  Electricity.  And always around face.  Too much succumbing as of late.  No purity left inside 

 

Eyecross. 

 

 

I do believe Coffin Comics is the best at this kickstarter indiegogo thing so far.  from what i've seen.  their products are fantastic with fucking BRILLIANT quality control.  and their youtube channel is great.  i've really dug what i've seen of allcapscomics so far as well.  and there's some other good ones too.  i'm too ignorant to recall.  

 

Too late now.  Woke up and realized and it’s all gone away.  On the verge of panic now.  Is there any time for a second act?  New ig.  Dig. Dug. 

 

now i have a smattering of scattered thoughts: it looks good.  The actor playing Harold is doing a great job.  in fact, so far i've no issues with any of the casting.  i'm wondering about the timeline jumping around structure they've employed.  i'm wondering if it might be too confusing for folks who are not familiar with the source text.  also, in this day and age, would it have been better - especially for this type of sprawling narrative - to have all episodes available at once?!  i don't like Billy Joel at all but i LOVE the use of the stranger as the theme for Flagg.  i was worried that James Marsden's dashing good looks would be a distraction and brush up harshly against the everyman stuff but no issues so far.  i like the elegantly photographed scene of two characters peaceably talking.  some scope was not well established enough in my opinion.  maybe future episodes could establish that bettter?  loved jk.  loved the yeats.  overall pleased.  the good and bad bookends were nice.  corn shit.  

my battery is sufficiently charged.  Grift! Then I realized the connection to a viola player (or something similar) who was being roped into some crass commercial music.  Cried when it was all over.  Still miss it.  One of the greats.  I’ve wasted it all.