Sunday, July 12, 2015

Segue

A dear friend called me a slave to the night.  

My dreams prepared for me a drink made of fear and desire.  I drank it down and imagined myself dying a thousand times in a thousand different ways that I may meet you again and for the first time over and over. 

I feel love and desperation so strong in the morning. I beg for everything. 

And at night I drift off and I know you are there and I am coveting. 

Can there be gender without sexuality?  All the days of my life.  What are we taught and what grows inside of us?  Soaking the pages and traveling through conversations and that one particular pronoun is repeated over and over.  And our beliefs are formed without effort. 

My imaginings always include long waves of black.  What am I ascribing to this wondrous everything?  When was the first time I truly felt you?  But this smile. It looks so much like her smile I must feel guilty about that. 

How desire that shame.  And my eagerness for obedience.  I want to live in service of the Queen? You speak in words I do not understand and your voice is beautiful. 


We live in a fallen world.  And I want to turn to her.  I want to be enveloped by grace and drown inside.  

No comments:

Post a Comment

wolf pig elk

  That’s right! It’s your old pal Jimmy Adjudication!   AKA Johnny Impotency! Here I sit, in my Fortress of Ineptitude, pecking out purple p...