Wednesday, June 6, 2018

i am awful, so much is dark, hate me, at least i have hard alcohol and sleep


I really love that Black Flag album My War.  I was listening to it the other day while parked in front of a sushi restaurant hating myself.  At one point an attractive woman arrived, went in, ostensibly ordered take out and left.  I watched her in an inappropriate way and enjoyed the sight of curvaceous body.  I like the cover of My War.  The actual album cover.  It kinda reminds me of the cover of the first Adolescents album but probably only because they are both blue and I am stupid.  She was wearing very tight pants and I enjoyed the sight of her buttocks as she walked into the restaurant and when she hauled that ass out of and into her car.  I don’t really care much for sushi myself.  I played a lot of Videoman back in the day.  I eat it about once every six months or so. Maybe longer.  And that’s enough for me.  I doubt I’ll ever see that woman again but who knows what fate may have in store.  I need to get this album on wax!  Get it on wax, they say!  Scorching guitar work, my friends!  I need more wires.  Maybe I’ll buy the Mortal Kombat soundtrack and listen to it while contemplating suicide!  Would that make ya’ll happy?!  I’ve been reading a book lately.  I already have a laptop that I think will suffice for my idears.  Always put on your money on apes.  Their playful love of bananas tops all!  Behold a….

I’m just made of lines and blocks these days.  Conjuring woodpeckers soon.  When did we become terrified of our own sex?  I need some visual aids for tomorrow’s stirring discussion.  Head already shaved.  You want to talk control systems?  Or mechanisms?  Unbelievable.  I never realized it’s his feces he has in that blue bowl and that is what he is generously throwing out to all of us.  Gaze upon the….

Sometimes we’re dreaming our lives.  Really like the goldmine.  Mini novels.  Color me something.  Maybe I am intrigued.  I was reading somewhere in the dark yesterday and then I felt terrible and had to stop.  Luckily, there was plenty of booze and brass to smooth my wrinkled heart.  Gotta tell ya, I really like Lucinda Williams’ album Car Wheels on a Gravel Road. 



I was inspired and then I was in a panic.  A calm panic but that doesn’t make much sense, does it?  I ate classic pb and j for dinner.  I gotta stop thinking black thoughts.  The first four ep’s is such an inspiring lp.  Thankfully I have many things on which to fall back.  Of course I viewed the interview today.  Very heartfelt.  The tears were quite touching.  You shall be missed.  I’d like to go to a movie theatre soon and watch a movie but I don’ t know if that is a possibility.  S/he is so accelerated.  There must be something wrong but I’m just too stupid to figure it out.  Hopefully I have not alienated by best chance at a cure.  Hopefully it is not too late.  Stop worrying about saving face you fool.  You worthless bastard.  My head hurts so much from intentionally banging it on the door earlier!

[Attempt (First, see the Exhibit(ion)]: He arrived home from a busy days of sales.  No, that’s not right.  He’s not a salesman. Or rather, he is but he isn’t. at some point the landlady asked him to remove the long dead plant from his balcony and he promptly complied and took the dried out thing to his kitchen and ate it over the course of 8 long minutes, washing it down with a fresh glass of tap water (straight up, no ice). Then Maria arrive home from a hard day’s work, her voluminous shaking and quaking with each step underneath her hip hugging black skirt (which was standard issue at her place of employment).  They discussed politics and geometry, reflecting on various books of mathematics while she removed her black high heel shoes, exposing her seamed RHT pantyhose clad feet to the air where the combination of oxygen of the hard day’s work created a powerful and lovely perfume.  She then promptly walked over to him, pushed him down to his knees and then against the sofa with powerful arms and then began to choke him with the sole of one pantyhose clad foot.  He futilely begged for mercy while she applied more pressure and looked for a book of geometry amongst the stacks to read.  Once a volume was selected she lay on her back and continued to press down on his throat while pressing the sole of her other pantyhose clad foot against his face, all the while uttering insults, proclamations of power and dominance and pontifications about mathematics.  She occasionally laughed while reading a particularly amusing passage in the book. 

Secrets in Lace seems to make a very reliable product.  More on that in the future.  But what do I know?!  I’m just Ricardo, the universe’s punching bag.  So much do and so little time.  I need to wake up early but I’m all out of café.  Maybe battery acid will be a savvy substitute?  Maybe I’ll give a brick to someone as a gift.  Punk rock is saving me.  or is it?!  The more I learn the less I want to know.  Hahahaha, I love how deadpan that was.  Hahahaha.  Deadpan isn’t even the right word.  I’m just too dumb to think of the right word.  I need to stock up on Breyfogle’s Prime.  Gotta a girl about documentation tomorrow.  Bruises everywhere.  It’s going to be such a busy day it will practically be not busy at all!  Thankfully I’ve found those new wordly inspirations.  I don’t care!  I don’t boast.  Call Me By Your Name was just beautiful.  Loved it. 

I constantly find myself surrounded by morons.  Such is bank!  Room to dream.  I look forward to having a room to dream.  Peace of mind was probably never meant for me.  lovely.  What an utter shame I am bereft of talent.  Still thinking of that other…so much fleeting now.  I saw you. I don’t get anything anymore.  The feelings were real and now they’re out there, somewhere, being beautiful.  I understand the geometry though.  The meeting of angles and clad flesh.  Angels.  Man, my computer speakers really suck huge dick! 

I didn’t know Boom! was publishing a Rocko’s Modern Life comic book!!!  I need to hunt down all back issues now!!!  I’m such a hopeless bastard!!!  I really fucking hate myself!!!

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