no desire to be a but i will celebrate the blank day with the below and fiery dark and the most but also the most

I would probably love to hang meself.  We must all feign happiness.  Oh my, how sad everything is.  I’m racing to find meaning.  Its just barely out of reach.  Inside a noose.  Some thoughts are far too comforting.  I’m listening to Death’s cover of God of Thunder.  Man, I love that rendition.  Soon I hope to be consuming a spicy chicken sandwich.  Oh sweet obligation.  Things are coming down to gibberish now.  When do these lies stop crashing the party.  Of course I am now putting things off temporarily at least until I see that Orwellian prediction come to light.  The cold war paranoia and the virus.  Someone to shame us, that is what we want.  I loved the official photos released of the next Wonder Woman movie and the set vids have me quite excited.  Maybe now I’ll just go drink a glass of milk.  I was crying again this morning and I think it set things off on a good start, very appropriate.  Blue smoke will always be the best version of itself when glass is applied.  I could it all so clearly running through the trenches.  Oh, it’s magical.  I want to believe and I don’t even have a poster of a UFO near my work desk.  But moved to tears again.  Why can’t I be different?  Alan, I can only be me.  how utterly devastating. 

I’m on the sun again, it’s my own damn fault.  There was grass and judiciousness.  There was talk about the upturned mouth.  Something about beauty and then I was blinded.  Something wrong?  Benches and copious amounts of paperwork and we were all up and down (I suppose it is true then that that’s how energy stays alive).  “Is everything looking great?”  this question will melt down into batter and cream and berries (time, patience, the right berries).  It was ingenious question really and he wonders what was truly meant, if anything.  It was obvious in a sense.  Ice water.  Glaciers of ice.  Is everything looking great?  What is the degree of intentionality?  And now you’re searching for electricity and conveyor belts again and massive mechanical arms.  It’s only natural.  There was deep denim and perhaps something maroon.  Don’t like to read anymore?  And then everything together, everyone is what he meant to say.  And all through the denier and all ganging up.  You’re fun.  Not realizing that you are also diseased.  Caffeine to the rescue in the strictest sense of relief.  Interesting that that group should now be using the means to catch aquatic life.  Still, it is the evil which is beckoning.  And was it all a plant?  All so convenient.  And in that moment he realized he is in fact quite a terrible person and has been for many years now.  I suppose it doesn’t really matter though.  Can’t think straight.  But off the little star has returned in force and so in many ways all is right with the world.  I would like to have a chance to do some reading later on and I think I will.  From a foreign land.  Quite interesting.  How end up here?  Why here and now?  So many different places at once.  Nothing quite makes any sense.  Maroon this time whilst searching for financial validity.  Far too many liberties out in the sprinkling.  It happens outside, yes, that was quite correct.  Brain is ceasing to function.  Do you understand?  Meeting on the lower lever level and then up to the upper level and then back down to the lower lower level and up to the lower level again and back at the beginning (spinning).  Tears here and there and nerves not quite made of steel and tempered by crushing debt and anger and something else.  Just gotta keep my miserable head clear for a couple more hours.  Maybe worms.  My appetite has returned.  Feeling so nervous and then down the hall with the angry ones and I was disrespectfully chewing gum and inching closer intentionally and inquiring about nerves.  Mouth thick.  Somewhere there were raspberries and unknowingly invading the light blue.  Making the blue head hurt.  Both responsible of course.  We’re all adults here.  Aren’t we? Of course in the end it was a predictable set of liquid circumstances which put the final and necessary kibosh on things.  to say nothing of the evil facesitting Brazilian BBW domme.  There is no love here or anywhere.  We are all unsafe.  Lets laugh at that missing detour and all the people searching for it.  Lets eat breaded pork while listening to melodic social commentary.  That’s probably another five ninety nine that I’ll never get back.  Woe is me.  oh well, maybe it’s time I just consume garbage and/or tickle the ivories.

 The appeal of sin was there and then it vanished again.  I was searching through the index for ages and what I found was frightening, emotionally distant and glacial.  There were other, separate worlds which were immediately opened in that moment, traversing similar wavelengths.  I need only raise the appropriate scratch.  Soon enough wax would be haunting me.  what an egregious error.  Make sure to sell the admissions.  All of my fears came true.  Watched Hour of the Wolf again the other night.  I’ll probably rewatch Persona soon enough.  Maybe tonight!  Or Tuesday!  Rum bum bum bum, rubba dubba dum. 

And now with someone moved on to the great beyond may be the time for question mark. On a pretty unrelated note I do love that new muzak from Rez.  But it is only first blush.  It’s easy to get excited on first blush we’ll have to see how it progresses.  All this as I await the chance to make a financial calculation.  I started ol’ Steve King’s new book last night and I highly enjoyed the first 67 or so pages I read.  We’ll see if that holds true for what remains….  I was reading another Dick book before that.  I just can’t get enough dick.  And prior to that was Ballard.  I love his work.  I’ll probably eat a peach soon.  Though I continue to deny The Rhapsody in Blue.  Peanut butter was the code trigger word.  Orange and black and grim insane obsession took hold.  She’s a peach.  I purchase fruit juices on a regular basis.  Of course I’m always a fan of the cybernetics. 

If Patrick Stewart does indeed return to play Picard then…I will cry tears of joy.  Because after Picard, all one can do is die!  Please let it be true!  

Ah, the enthusiasm associated with the poster.  Those were the great halcyon days of yore!