Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Almost did it with the brilliant (la)

I need something for midnight listens but I think I has found it.  Perhaps things have become too shaved down as of late and I am unable to find the proper wire to pull.  Temporary peace I say.  That great DJ at work again as she peers through the dirt.  

Don’t pass out on me.  Could there exist sweeter words than that?  all those awful phonies, he simply cannot support them anymore.  How can anyone?  Great question but there is no answer yet.  I’ve watched the same documentary several times a day every day for a couple weeks now.  If only I found a German girl with whom I could drink and listen to then new but now old records.  I suspect that would be a good time.

Does anyone else but me notice an interesting parallel between a key passage in Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer and Bob Dylan’s tune Visions of Johanna?  Maybe it is just me.  I prefer reading on my balcony in case I finally muster up the courage to do what needs to be done.  Where will they live?  

Harder and harder when the words don’t mean anything, misery is the only thing he can possibly look for.  Please don’t take that away from him.  Red thing inside.  He saw her and recalled that very first time with black and orange.  Eventually we will have to take off our masks.  

I need a new show to watch since I recently finished Breaking Bad.  I don’t really like TV shows but I still need a new one to watch.  One show at a time.  one fun at a time as George would say.  I should try to be cute in a stupid ass way.  I am strongly considering The Wire and weakly considering Justified and Mad Men and House of Cards.  It saddens me to write those names out because – again – TV shows do not provide me with much satisfaction.  But I will make the choice anyway.  That’s just what I will do.  I am in mime.  

Oh boy, I had some horrific dreams last night, really awful sexual revelations.  Repulsive how much we are controlled by….  

Mayhaps its time to deliver the word.  What have I been resisting as of late.  

When did you stop listening?  When did everything need to become so easily digestible?  So meaningless.  Can’t get this out anymore.  Body trapped in something awful.  what is this grotesque desire that continually needs to express itself?  I am control again.  perhaps he will be deleted and fade into obscurity.  No one is waiting to be discovered anymore.  Maybe we should try writing in ¾.  

Everything must be modern, yes?  

When we were in line and he thought you were someone else.  Then it was spring again, green dress, smiling lovely, a glass of cold lemonade.  Questions hanging around, spent cigarettes in the ashtray, not us.  Now he may just be creating things for effect.  But enough of that is the right stuff.  Thanking me.  Do you recall this?  Thanking me.  Do you like coffee?  Never be myself.  Never be myself because myself is far too ugly, too vile.  If I could just go back and snuff it all out, kill it all, starting with myself.  

From there it is only some joyous delirium, am I right?  You spoke of torture in the most delightful way.  Did you notice how eager and attentive he was at every critical juncture?  Let’s be chronological though it’s impossible to quite shake it all.  God, why is so much of it slipping away already?  Just please let me hang on to a couple of those moments, just those two beautiful most precious ones.   He remembers where they were, he reached out for a…and instead she gave a…thank you, thank you so much.  and at the very end, all things revealed, why didn’t he say it sooner.  What difference can he possibly make?  This was after that right angle room and before such inescapable secrets.  That right angel room was so glorious.  Just say hello as he passes by.  Then never again.  looking for a job.  
 
Don’t point that gun at me yet, too much yellow in the background.  I’m sorry you couldn’t be proud of me.   Created a fantastic being of pure hatred.  I guess it all stands to reason.  I hear these same numbers over and over again.  21.  15.  These numbers keep popping up inside the rotting brain.  Fast pigmentation.  And the fish people again I suppose.  Tilt.  Of course they would not understand.  

Every morning that sound on the pavement is so melodic.  Reminds of the right angle room in many ways.  Music.  And a very specific style.  And black waves again.  

I’m going to watch the movie Regression soon.  It got quite bad reviews but I’m still interested.  I did not like Deadpool enough to purchase it but I will anyway because I can’t have such a big gaping hole in my Gina Carano collection.  Then I’ll probably poor myself a stiff drink and cry for an hour or so wondering why I am.  He’s waiting for language to emerge.  Wouldn’t have thought of that.  who is going to be the only one left.  My, the new X-men movie is getting not good reviews at all.  

Scissors, huh?  We discussed scissors at great length but not quite ad naseum.  They are great glorious things.  this trained assassin, great and lethal.  A bit of high camp, yes.  Nothing like a little high camp, it really shakes things up.  this is true, there is no name for what we are describing.  Don’t want to lose all his money though.  There is a very real risk of this.  It is becoming quite unsavory.  Don’t fall into the same old trap.  Don’t want to see anyone anymore.  I suppose it doesn’t really matter too much. I’m forgetting a lot of things but I bet me bottom dollar I’ll recall them later on.  

I do like the new song.  its not bad at all.  that’s always a damning good review, right?  The production is fresh for them but there are many familiar elements.  I do like the song!  good song!  not very challenging.  Does it need to be?  Reliable.  Enough?  

My searches are very specific.  


Just waiting around for someone to jerk the handle.  

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