plasma crave (attention better word)

Seems improbable things would work out in such a way.  It seemed improbable is more accurate.  Smiling through the teeth.  Such a singular definition, is anyone else in agreement?  Perhaps not.  Been easy so far but these last two are likely to be much more difficult.  No such thing as right where they left off.  In a darkened room and nothing changes.  Why are they letting so many sociopaths into their lives?  Ho hum, does not really matter much.  do not give too much away, hurts to see it was all for nothing.  Oh please, don’t be so serious, so self-important.  Oil.  Rich and black and all over my hands.  Lets not get bogged down with semantics.  All of us who bet we would find fulfillment with our menial dreams are in for an unpleasant realization.  

Me saw Captain America: Civil War the other day.  I sat dead center in the theatre and felt comfortable as ever.  I submit that Black Panther – played to a T (for T’Challa) by Chadwick Boseman – was the best part of this feature film.  I’ve been a BP fan for decades with my love renewed during the excellent Marvel Knights run from a few years back.  His was the most prominent character arc in the flick and his action scenes frequently among the most stirring.  And out of the myriad of cameos and setup-for-future-movies characters which always litter these movies his was the most organic feeling and adeptly acclimated into the larger plot.  Spider-Man’s involvement felt much more shoehorned in yet his spritely energetic presence was a welcome addition and he also won me over.  

This instinctual possessive desire is something alien.  That doesn’t really make any sense.  Is there a sinister transformation taking place?  Is this the nigh imperceptible gradual descent alluded to so early on?  I’d bet you’d make time after he’s gone.  That much is sure.  Increasingly it is only possible to find solace and safety in the creations but not us.  This cannot be right.  Is it a contract then?  Do we all owe someone for the rest of our lives?  It is funny to think how everyone believes it is going to make everything better.  It is just one more element to be ruined.  All so ugly.  

Scissors on my mind again, not good.  Reinforced steel, not good.  Reinforced heel-toe thought…wow, very very good.  RHT.  Can’t get enough.  Or can I?  No, definitely no!  I most assuredly cannot get enough.  The ending of the of the invisible killer was more generous than he imagined.  I suspect he shall be returning soon enough.  

Is the block rearing its ugly head again?  Did the wolf run away with the inspiration too?  We’ll see how this sushi thing works out though I have high hopes.  I have high pie in the sky hopes.  Ah, secrets and lies, you gotta love em!  The alternate identities are a bit on the passive side now.  Though things are rather horribly clear in the harsh morning light.  That first pic of Idris Elba as Roland Deschain looked promising.  I remain cautiously optimistic and mawkishly intrinsic about the whole thing.  Did I see a bunny in the barn last night?  If so, I imagine it was the most terrifying things I’d seen in a good long time.  Tight like a fist.  Do you understand?  It’s all connected.  After all, why would he call label that collection with that term?  And where exactly is he travelling too as he descends those stairs?  Is it possible to fool so many.  Please don’t tell its true.  Where is my crutch?  We’re all leaning on something these days.  Can you remember the last time you were truly…?

I do believe he’s finally hit upon it.  What would he be without those particular sins?  And the willful destruction.  We all live for those things.  Sad.  Though we’ll get it by.  It’s a very modern world after all.  How is it possible to so actively seek out that destruction.  He keeps traversing the same lines, going back again and again.  something has to dull it out eventually, right?  Ah, the sweet imagined pressure around his neck, patterns imprinted on the skin.  A few taunting words of magic and everything starts to feel just right.  And afterward?  More drink to drown it out and old Polaroid photographs falling down onto a pool table.  I know less and less....

Bit of a struggle here really.  Amazing what can be suppressed when the timing is just right.  we are all crumbling oh so slowly.  Hahahahahaha.  Wait!  Who was that just laughing right now?  Don’t look behind me please.  I just need to read a little more, that is all.  please don’t let me see what you really look like.  Hot tears running down my face.  Please don’t let me see you.  

Guillermo Del Toro is quite a talented director.  I think i own all of his flicks.  I myself am becoming obsolete (not that I ever really had any value or importance to begin with) but many of his works are becoming richer with age.  I also heartily enjoyed his most recent movie – Crimson Peak.  Twas a splendiferous gothic treat awash in bold and beautiful landscapes.  I don’t know what I’m saying. But I liked it a lot.  Oh Chastain, oh yes.  Hellboy movies are amongst my very favorite.  Don’t forget his Spanish flicks, they bleeping rock!  I love Mimic too, I have a soft spot for human sized insects (maybe because I am one tee hee!)!  I love pink basses!  I covet them!  

So much time wasted.  So much of nothing going on.  Is that the way of things.  I never had a chance to….and now we never will.  Let us keep prioritizing things which do not matter.  While what little beauty there is continues to perish all around.  Can anyone be forgiven?  What was seen in that final moment?  Never again.  I did not appreciate enough.  Why do they keep on talking?  I wouldn’t even care except I feel so bad.  

Tried to think of something comforting while falling asleep.  still haunted.  Tried.  Something strong and caring.  Primary colors.  Capturing the essence, the spirit.  The mythology.  Capable of so much.  and down below.  Wrapped in.  every moment.  After the long days.  Why always involving such lack of cleanliness.  Your own thoughts betray.   But this comfort in loving enslavement.  Always underneath, receiving the commands.  Perfumed subjugation.  

I finally understand: I like it because it is bitter.  And because….