I always get called an asshole (riff on track 2)

My head gets too tight sometimes.  Instant understanding and inevitable questions.  That lovely river looms so large.  The only act which could possibly have any meaning.  Don’t look at me that way.  No one understands except those who do.  About to encounter a prophet but what do those numbers mean?  Please, I do not want to be disrespectful.  Is this going to go very bad?  Horrible influences controlling all of us.  You did your little dance and drilled through the…again.  please don’t let anything in, don’t even let it cross your mind.  Was it really a fable?  An apple and that hand looked so pretty for a moment.  

The evening is never meant to go smooth.  Don’t be so combative.  This is turning into a witch hunt.  Relax baby, let it happen.  We’ll cut and go and everything is going to make perfect sense.  A disjointed narrative is what’s really being called for.  

Not everything through my eyes.  nothing through my eyes, really.  That seems the most appropriate.  That gives me great comfort.  Maybe you said that to me after a not so blissful train ride.  Why doesn’t everyone see the same things?

Who is that I hear walking up the stairs?  I feel so scared right now.  Maybe I would scream but I don’t suppose it would do much good.  

You said the word “cocksucker”.  Did you mean it?  Where did you hear that?  I must investigate.  Twinkle twinkle, eh?  What a richly appropriate choice given the evening festivities.  Don’t forget to keep your head….

Precious skin, burns so neatly.  So easy a child could do it.  is that too transparent my alternate personality asks to no one in particular.  

This can’t be every single time, this can’t be every single motherfucking time. though I suppose it ultimately doesn’t matter.  A rather lovely comfort to be found in meaninglessness.  Nothing…right?  Please don’t make me say it.  hand wrapped tightly around my throat.  Don’t force it.  whatever you do, don’t force it.  that is the worst of all.  And yet here you are.  Magic potion down and everything flowing so smooth.  

“Hey, I’m this.” “Oh, you’re this?  Well, I’m that.” “I say, what a batshit crazy motherfucking coincidence, eh?”  Hey fellas, you may be this and you may be that but I’m over here contemplating the majesty of my grey matter splattered against a nearby flat surface.  What does that make me?  You’re certifiable!!!  You’re certifiable, you know that!  No no no, we were talking about dinosaurs (sworn enemy of man), not sharks.  

Nothing should be so easy.  Too much loving going on.   Hurts to say anything.  Please excuse me as a noose has just dropped into sight, too lovely to resist.  Damn  

Is that the reason why you?  so many question with no real answers.  He doesn’t  know why he does things, how many times must he repeat this?  

Strange comforts. Predictable imagining the source as from a different home.  
They (though I should say he) assured the sun would not rise anymore with that last bow of glory.  I stole a bit of that though I made it clumsier.  It was a really a last bow for them but the beginning of something much greater and far more beautiful for him.  

Not dreaming now, am I?  I suppose we can briefly discuss various anti-monopolistic sentiments, perhaps over some cocktails.  There is always an emergency popping up.  I don’t imagine the law changing anytime soon.  Simply the way of things.  everyone in suits and slicked back hair.  If only I could.  what am I doing Mombasa?  I think mine would likely be the mother.  Know, what I’m talking about, yes?  Sounds like such an ugly word but I know it wouldn’t be.  

I look like a whore? All the days of my life.  No reason to care really.  Beautiful I say.  It’s two different ones talking right now.  In reality the first could never ask such a thing for s/he was never privy those other thoughts.  Oh, all the ways I failed you.  not sure what this admonishment means.  Oh God, why must we all talk while in cars?  Please, can everyone please stop talking to me?!  Pretty please with sugar on top.  I suppose a lack of answers is my answer.  Why try so hard?  Nobody else is.  

Pure terror in the middle of the night.  think I was probably around 25% or so.  Screaming so loud, fists meant to be raised.  Screams no longer sounded human, so deranged and awful.  My God, who’s coming in, who is going to open that door?  It’s 3:30, isn’t it?  Or just a little later?  What’s happening?  This is how he’s going to look in her eyes when what we’ve overlooked has taken over.  Always love drinking in that rage.  

Watching bright blue eyes is becoming a legitimate problem, isn’t it?  so many innovations making it even easier.  Starting to feel like my best and most cooperative contemporaries.  Let’s not make too many jokes though.  This is destructions.  Another beautiful barrier to all the awfulness everywhere.  Turquoise high heels, can’t argue with those though.  Everything he would have asked for.  Parental advisory for harsh language.  Growing on him, right?  Absolutely nothing is the same, must ask if it ever will be again.  I guess that’s why they call her lethal….  

I pulled up to pay at the drive thru of rather disgusting fast food restaurant.  A young chap with red hair took payment and gave me my repulsive food.  His name was a name I typically associate more with a pet than a human but it is not a bad name.  his work seemed to be less of a passion for him and more of an obligation.  This struck me as sad though it was laughed off by another.  Curious where this youngster will be in 30 years.  Where will any of us be?  Trudging along in slightly higher levels of unhappiness.  One can only hope!!! Smiley face!! Tee hee, laugh laugh, chortle, snicker.  

You know, deep in your heart of hearts, you know who that is.