Saturday, August 3, 2019

prelude, express love, glamorous (short, how appropriate)


I’m breaking a cardinal rule here.  or am i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I recently watched the Harmony Korine movie The Beach Bum and absolutely loved it.  It seemed to be a spiritual sequel to Spring Breakers and a spiritual brother to Serenity from earlier this year.  Savvy readers will no doubt recall that Serenity is likely my favorite movie of the year thus far.  I did not see The Beach Bum in theatres and that was due to my own negligence and I have to live with that for the rest of my sure to be miserable and worthless life.  I need to rewatch em both back to back.  I watched Aquaman again recently as well.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I’m going to listen to some new music soon.  Horse.  He’s drinking again.  He means me. 
I recently watched the child’s play remake.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I think I’m going to order an autographed copy of Bear McCreary’s score to the film.  Then I’ll listen to it.  i fell deeply in love with Aubrey Plaza as the mother in the film.  So much so I wish she were my mother.  Then I would literally and figuratively pour out my entire soul to hear and launch into her embrace and let her comfort me and I would cry and cry and cry and it would be beautiful.  She is so lovely.  I am going to watch the first season – and maybe the entire series – of Legion just to see her.  then, if all goes according to plan, I’m going to blow my brains out. 
I’m going to steal a bunch of gold and then hide out in an Italian villa.  I’m listening to music while I write this.  That autographed copy should be arriving by mail shortly!  And when it arrives I may so excited that I’ll tweet about it!  so much empty sexual expression going.  All feeling so terrible at the end of things.  of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper.  Clearly trying to be steered in a more correct direction.  Which is a wonderful thing, is it not?  A necessary thing. 
Butterfly in the rainforest.  I was inhaling her and inhaling the rain forest. And everything was beautiful. You’re okay. 
How to explain.  There was initially so much uncertainty though everything had gone oh so well.  The maritime city.  Lost on the ravaged streets.  Had to go back and forth and try to figure it all out and eventually depending on the kindness of strangers.  Not exactly low men in yellow coats but at least yellow hats.  Mica was present during a long wait.  Strings while grief was being painstakingly processed and everything red on us and in back.  But blue in front and outside and so lovely and there was no need to be concerned about the tardiness.  Tee hee, how so much of the mood setting was from the familiar, first with marine themed touches which have already been mentioned and then with the entrance to the island.   Pause.  There it is.  Recognition at once and the locale was perfect.  Ah, the subsequent ambience.  Though it can be truly said I have consumed far too much meat lately.  What have you been filling your heart with?  Simple arrival all within minutes.  No trouble traversing the layers.  New outer layers for just such an occasion all carefully color coordinated.  Later on there will be blood but all happiness.  For now there is simple pleasant loss.  
A lot of nothingness is coming our way. It’s going to all be over quite soon.  Don’t let it all slip away. 
This is important and necessary.  Before everything else that is to follow.  I need to remember this blissful prelude, the only bit of good here as everything else withers and falls away because of me.  Just gotta hang on to this moment.  Pure expression of love. 

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