This started out as something
else. But that’s okay. It’s in many ways
related to something or maybe that’s only the first paragraph. No, the first couple I mean.
His heart is
awful. Emotions betray everything. Do you remember how safe you felt inside that
storm? Do you remember running through
it on a summer evening? It makes
sense. Please do not shed any tears
because that would just be so fucking pathetic on your part. Why not try to be a good person for once in
your utterly worthless life? I can’t
even get any words out anymore. Just a
useless waste. Something is clouding my
vision here. amongst all those old books
do you recall discussing the tortured history that brought us all
together? Hesitancy and then revival the
very next time. cranberry and cream and
something new unrecognized but joyous and oh please be for me. cold in the
middle in the path and too scared to go down.
this was so dangerous and so wonderful.
And it’s all over now. As it
should be. And he that it I feels
terrible because I am terrible and everything that comes from me is petty and
selfish and stupid. And desire is not
very intelligent, is it? Try to hang on
to a moment of loveliness? Can one exist
if I am involved? Who’s gonna take the….
That will going again
and again and again. Salt water and
broken glass. And now everything around
is electric blue and that feels richly approrpitae. I need a strong drink now to help drown out
the constantly reoccurring affirmation of how pathetic and worthless I am and
deserving of mockery are all my fucking stupid little feelings.
I considered spending
dollars but then thought about it rationally and realized I could just search and
or read later. But I will make it a point
for loyal viewership once it officially kicks off. right of the bat I immediately became a fan
of Riho and decided I will be in her corner until the end of my miserable
days. What else did I do today? I listened to Lana Del Rey’s new album. Full review coming soon! Or is it?
The more I learn the less I want to know. At the same time I was only able to watch a
bit of the other thing. With the torment
and the one who recently stirred controversy in the world of performance
art. For the record, I agree with you
and have long held that opinion. Though my
opinion is utterly worthless. I may
require an encouraging message. That sounds lovely. It’s amazing how much of a loser I am. Goddam man child. Is that me?
I a am not really worthy of anything.
Casual profanity had me today. Just
watched a blurry version of the last chunk of the Riho match. Definitely seemed solid, makes me anticipate the
coming launch (also a Jericho fan for sure).
The crucifix at the end maybe wasn’t entirely smooth, couldn’t be sure
but it still worked. Curious about the
titular. Good style. She seems to be getting over quite well. But what the hell do I know?!
I repeatedly come to
the realization that there are no other reasons other than the fact that I am a
terribly awful person. so it’s not
really necessary to dig deeper and look at past influences or even motivating
factors. I am simply awful. I know I’ve addressed this before but it’s
weighty. Or something. Fuck, I don’t know.
I really like the album
Tusk and I’ve listened to it a lot recently.
There are songs I sometimes listen to in the dark and sometimes they
make me feel not so awful. Drinking in
excess also helps. I recently discovered
a veritable treasure trove of stuff meant for my eyes and it all started with
an orange piece of paper. I must make
time for great things. I can’t forget
about another Del Rey not at all related to the one I mentioned earlier but
there is some classic combat I need to catch.
Or maybe it’s all related. I don’t
know anywhere. I don’t really know much
of anything cause I’m so stupid. I really
like the book I’m reading now. I also liked
the design on the dust jacket.
I was doing something
else today when I happened upon the unexpected recounting of a home and a
witch. It was all in stark contrast with
one another and it was in those golden age moments where I fell for Sonia. Then I scoured everything so I could find
what I was looking for. Always with the
advent of glass and plastic. What I was talking
about earlier. Yes, the new. It reminded
me of the glorious feeling of feeling low.
the colors of my room are quite electric. I don’t think I can afford to wait for any
gifts. There was singing and dancing,
yes? We were at some kind of tropical
club. Ah, I remember now. Initial disappointment
as it seemed everything was going away. But
no, that’s not true. An extra layer
actually made everything better. An extra
layer that did not quite obstruct anything.
And I’m gone again. It’s a good
thing they were all thrown out. Initial confusion
only led to another discovery. Further research. Always piercing. I thought it was child against parent but no,
in fact it all had to do with a witch. And
now I know it’s a possibility, the plastic acquisition. Sonia, I swear.
You acted so very
honestly and intense. It is truly
lovely. It all makes sense now why it is
no more. Of course, I think as my head
goes light, how utterly proper. Still,
this will all always play out again and again in a thousand alternate
places. Across those shelves of books
with cream and cranberries and he hopelessly begging she could be meant for
him. In one of those places it comes
true.
Tiffany looked amazing.
Beautiful. Everything. And of course the h…the den… Dual pink with lethal flower. And I drown.
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