learned nothing from our previous healthy enough feels like a just don't know when to not exactly a so what you gonna tell him

 

All my parcels are late.  The rituals must continue.  Hope to eat some catfish soon, continue the search.  I’m hungry for Dark Angel updates.  I need to be fed. I’m writing this from the gutters of the city.  For breakfast I had a slice of wheat bread, a slice of medium cheddar cheese, a banana and black coffee.  Or did i?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I started the day off watching an action movie.  once I have some money there’s a few silver age and bronze age comics I wanna buy.  Emphasis on supes and diana ,Vinnie and maybe ramona.  Shit like that.  (if I had not met Ramona….  Time to crank now that the weather is heating up, odorless man, poor dunce, need to read pushing ahead again).  Maybe go see black as coal later, rituals have me.  just a wet ploppy little crap.  Sister salvation. Jill.  These days days days.  I don’t even have the scratch for a basket of catfish and shrimp.  Such is the sad pathetic life of your old pal Jimmy Adjudication.  all I can do is work my inches to some clips of pantyhose clad feet.  Somebody wanna send me some money via cashapp so I can go eat some catfish and shrimp and then get utterly wasted afterward?!  I’ve been drinking a lot less these days and it’s really doing a number on my system!  Or is it?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Always forget about sweetest thing cause I’m a dumbass.  But that fits . that is it.  zoo from yesterday and few other sentiments that make up the emotionally and spiritually resonant comparable flesh and blood and heart and soul funneled to a mix.  I see glitter, no, sparkles, maybe, color, something lush, spring and summer, eat the, take away the…and the anger.  Eating a carrot now during a time of great reflection.  Recently reacquainted myself with one of my all time favorite asses.  I’m nothing if a not a voyeur.  Two for the price of one.  drank two steaming hot mugs of the consistently weakest coffee I’ve ever had in my miserable worthless life.  Coal black.  Haven’t I been alluding to this?  Rituals have me.  my God, how many years has it been now?  at least an unlucky number of them.  Somewhere around there.  recollections of a Buddha.  Recollections of dancing with a tempestuous nun.  Photography of a cheetah woman.  Falling down a hill.  Pity drink (such a pity).  The standard drink.  Glorious red tie.  Better not be cheating on me.  do you like our new shirts . summer.  Current unexpected fear of flying delaying the next in a long line of frequent vacations . both glorious.  Can never shake this.  Big gutted now.  lot of heft.  Always in the off season.  The electricity fantasies, the glorious subjugation.  Schedules.  Oh how glorious the suffocation would be.  (oh the sweet suffering). On an unrelated note I really need to read or reread a Clive book very soon.  It is now the season and I don’t want to miss the seasonal ambience.  Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  My God I remember everything. The rhapsody in blue.  Been years since the rhapsody in blue.  I am doomed.  There is a dual nature to the addiction.  I just took a tremendous crap shortly after reminiscing about and researching the geneology of O.  those truly were the days.  Looking back I’m not sure how it all could have happened that way.  I remember, the ten days, the ten entries, that were required.  New year new life. That was the beginning of the end.  Fashioned a scarf. Time to end it all?  Always reeking of raw sewage nearby.  I recall those years.  Public assistance.  So many failures.  That’s for there benefit?  Dropped into the suggestions box.  Free nachos.  Red and blue and magenta and black.  Samson and Delilah.  Just took a tremendous crap!  She’s a peach.  My God how could I forget that the rhapsody in blue began as a peach?!  So many years ago.  The code word was peanut butter and the code word was used so quickly! Peanut butter peanut butter!  Once was a friend.  so many iterations, now forever lost.  But if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that anything lost can be found again.  I didn’t actually say that.  last night, single braid.  Caught looking.  Lot of scumbags everywhere.  Faux leather.  Oh God how I despise myself.  Nothing has changed.  Lot of wasted time trying to find yourself.  How sad to always be resorting back to yourself.  The best thing I could ever do is to make myself disappear.  Need to reread that book with the green cover.  Maybe I’ll go to a bookstore later today but I doubt it.  a jar of pickled eggs would make things better.  I need to eat more pickled food. Now remembering double you.  Was double you the beginning of it all?  Need a staple.  Always needed a staple.  Some three times in a row, wandering around a geometrical building.  Confrontation in a quiet area.  Forest green, lush, black.  Face card every time. and then floral arrangements.  Life is so sad.  Prior, the substitute for love.  Written word in the annual.  Why did all of these things come about.  The mystery of myself is too dull and inconsequential to invents any real time into solving.  Probably going to eat a heavy lunch.  I had a heavy dinner last night and it was disgusting.  If I have money tomorrow I’m gonna go get some catfish and shrimp.  Or will i? the more I learn the less I want to know.  Real shrimp!  She was tempted by the shrimp.  Then later that night she blasted real hot ones right in my face, laughing with sick amusement.  The debasement of it all!  The joys of emasculation.  Sweetest thing again.  Memory provides comfort and sadness.  I don’t like leaving my posh flat.  I don’t like people.  I typically regret going out in public.  Regret.  Shadows.  Chase our.  I wasn’t there when it counted.  Waiting on a parcel.