Wednesday, April 16, 2025

talked to substitute after vanishing, details reluctant, then discussed hot dog eating championships (apropos of nothing, pinched a ball today!)

 

Really loved recent atom.  Difficult but ultimately very rewarding, very layered and nuanced, gave me a lot to talk about.  Unrelated, fascinated by pop albums that don’t hit big in the moment but go on to have a long impactful legacy.  I love pop music.  Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  I’m restoring windows.  Really love that movie punisher war zone.  I would get the 4k except it’s abominable how lexi was treated so I refuse to sink more money into that film.  I’ll probably watch an Italian movie soon. 

Unlucky number of years.  Need to spill some ink on this topic for a while.  Still wish I was on a tiny table with a typewriter.  Still wish the fridge was a bold and symbolic innovation.  Unlucky number of years.  Been avoiding this which was yield great results in the world of mental health.  Images blurring here.  I gave a thumbs up and felt like an asshole so then I clarified the thumbs up, explaining the rich symbology of it all.  Guess I don’t need to spill that much ink on this.  Arms.  Lots of ink.  Eyes like saucers.  So respectful.  Forearm.  Drawings.  Like the jade pendant, life….  Lovely arms.  Seen together one time.  I thought it was two.  Incredulous, I thought it was seven.  Disservice to.  Yeah, brutha, yeah.  there is nothing there.  dissecting it, tearing it apart, what makes it tick is nothing at all.  Still, indulgence will only lead to waste.  Unlucky.  Focus on the numerology of it all.  Crystals and death’s head.  Remarkably under control.  It will go the way of most things.  nothing for a while before evaporating, disappearing forever.  Of course, I think as my head goes light, how utterly proper. 

Stepphing on blueberry muffins! Yes!! Aung San Suu Kyi will lead us to democracy.  Aung San Suu Kyi!  Aung San Suu Kyi!  Need to listen to U2’s 2000 album All That You Can’t Leave Behind again soon.  Maybe today while driving around in my Toyota.  It’s such a classy album.  Such a lovely album.  I love that album so much!  Or do i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Need to do some laundry. Need to buy some juice.  There’s my copy of Child of God. I was looking all over it.  I suppose I’ll need to reread cormac’s penultimate novel at some point.  These visons of johanna….  Really liked that one novel by ivy pochoda that I read a while back.  need to seek out more.  Cooking in a bedsitter.  Need to make Swedish sausage casserole soon.  Don’t have enough money for a beer.  I’m broke as fuck.  Bob Clampett!  Baby Bottleneck!  John Wheaties! My God, I’d forgotten (cue the imitation Williams).  How much I love that iteration, the line, the anarchy before the punching bag.   Felicia’s journey.  Was made aware of some erotic comics I wasn’t aware of this morning.  Don’t have the money to spare.  Luckily I found my copy of the trade paperback of all star superman last night cause I was about to go ape shit on my sorry ass.  Of all superheroes I am most like dodds.  Oh man, when the dark angel just casually drops the bustle skirt I lose it.  I mean I really just fucking lose it.  there you have it.  head clearer.  Testicles and spirit a little emptier.  The attempt at emergency revival was a nice touch.  Still, at least I’m not drinkin’, druggin’ or prostitutin’ like I used to.  Gotta a read book on Myanmar.  Gotta read that bolano book.  numbers have me.  black lace panties have me.  my favorite thing about getting exorcising a little bit of evil from yourself is that a minute later it’s already grown back and a day later it’s already stronger than it was before.  I’ll probably eat a turkey sandwich later on.  I’m waiting for that turkey sandwich with all the patience of a man waiting for a turkey sandwich.  Pretty nice day out.  I unthawed some ham the other day.  one of the most important decisions of my life was I when I committed myself to eating chicken wings on Saturdays rather than Wednesdays.  Traditional.  Smoky barbeque.  More tex! Tex and bob!  Ah, see, sin only begets sin.  You think you escape it but no, like I said, you kill it for a moment, but then it comes back stronger and it wants more and you’re already so dispirited you have a kind of “fuck it, what difference does it make attitude” so decide to indulge in the more you were trying to avoid and by the end you’re in the mire again saying it will be the last time.  green wheel.  The loneliest (target exclusive I have) was great but the loveliest honestly seems even greater.  Or does it?  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Great artist.  I can see diamonds in the rough.  Lighter than air.  Man on mars man on mars will you take us to the stars?!  Stupid kids stupid kids will you shut the fuck up?!  Dumb white trash to the left of me.  fat ugly white trash to the right.  Here I am, stuck in the middle with dumb fat ugly white trash.  Feeling the emotional fallout of my current financial limitations. Missing my favorite ESMR creator.  Oh God I miss you so much.  I’m believing the strangest things these days.  Loving the alien. I feel a draft.  Tried to zone in on locations.  So few clues.  His sin was trying to save the world.  It’s cause I’m being a pain in the ass.  One moment, it slipped through.  Personal reference.  Then nothing.  Ice cold phone.  And to think it all started with an offer of popcorn.   That’s okay, I will use and reuse these a million times over.  Just by chance, confessing secret shames. 

All the while he was looking for a substitute.  That’s the secret of the unlucky number of years.  Bereft of purity.  How uncouth. 

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