Thursday, April 24, 2025

the end of sacred geometry and blandness and arms?! kiss me, no one ever said

 

Wish nia would accidentally injure me. she loves carbs. Thinking about harvo.  Those early inks.  Thinking about aparo.  The experiments in black during that run.  Janson.  Williams.  And now Vinnie.  And I’m thinking about a conspicuous absence.  I was only peripheral to that goodbye but was it a goodbye goodbye?  Maybe in a clinic for substance abuse problems.  More curiosity than anything else.  Nothing truly meaningful here.  bit players all around.  No news on the financial front for your old pal Jimmy Adjudication.  can’t even afford a Costco hotdog.  I would kill for one of those right now.  with extra kraut and relish.  Or would i?!  the more I learn the less I want to know.  Seems appropriate for this disappearance to happen right now, near a time of quasi completion.  Maybe time to let some bad habits fade and look for some new ones.  If this is it, how to best summarize it?  it began with a thumbs up.  It began with sacred geometry.  You get the fuck out of here!  it began with a green motorcycle.  No, that was actually much later on.  Peach.  Cloudy or stormy.  Cloudy like French but that has nothing to do with this.  Little fruit bat and a cartoon bear.  Screamo shit.  Throwin’ back mouthwash.  I thought it was seven, said with incredulity, alongside another who has vanished, the real center of it all.  Reading about vampires.  Sitting by yourself.  Ah the glories of substance abuse.  Lot of laughter.  The night where four people had the same name!  drinking glitter!  Drinking shit out of a can!  Taking a little tour.  The death of a friend who hadn’t been in contact for a while due to the jealousy of a then current significant other.  More odd parallels. What does it all mean.  Asking permission for a hug.  Walking halfway back to a vehicle.  Chance encounters at the same while feeling so fucking angry.  Big furry coat.  Yeah, brutha, yeah.  high . not too much to say at the culmination of things.  maybe never really much there at all.  People just sort of cling to one another out of blind dumb necessity and convince themselves it’s meaningful but it’s more just about proximity.  Totaled.  This is definitely a vibe.  Thank you for being patient.  Bland.  How’s your scotch?  That’s about it. probably some other things I’m forgetting that’ll come back to me at some point.  No hundreds of thousands this time.  though evidently there is a problem at hand being witnessed.  Silly ass, how could I forget.  Belinda.  and then an oil man (not HW).  Beast boy on the breast.  Mystical crystals and taking out the trash.  Then it all went ghost (nothing to do with killjoys, alas).  And prior to it all the dark one eyed man.  how strange and offputting, forced communication from across the room.  Double date denied.  Usually don’t but you’re different.  Obvious but effective translator tactics.  Obvious but effective needing a ride tactics. Then too strong gotta back down.  please just leave me the fuck alone . then confrontation, all linking back in now, to the one is not a bit.  Noticing.  Text me saucy.  Look at it and laugh while drunken and on bright red sheets.  Where’s my cowboy hat?! There, is that it?!  almost.  Atrocious singing by way of apology for the apocalyptic doomsaying whilst blitzed on hard narcotics.  Nice arms.  Delroy with the nom.  Corny is way off base in one or two aspects.  Same shit every time . babyface babyface.  Need to get back into it. need to drive around.  I just took a tremendous squelchy crap!  Could for some bangers and mash later but I don’t have any fucking money.  Not even for beer!  Tough skin!  Dense bone!  Ass trumpet symphony!  That zappa collection with the dolphins is pretty rad.  I’m such a piece of shit.  Pull your head out of your ass, baybay!  I don’t know what’s what.  She’s everywhere, all over the place.  Think I’ll have a can of chili for dinner.  Pretty nice day out.  Feels like I have found the musical equivalent.  The collection that most encompasses the emotional variance down under.  Zoo.  These days days days.  Of course there is also the dogs in the rain and gross timmy and turning into dust.  And remember the ones who have fallen.  And something spiritual and mythic happening in a very dark way on a fast moving European train.  Of course, to see you, so sweet.  Mimicry of the ball . my whole life is a work.  so much time gone since.  Like horses.  More rewiring.  Glorious debasement.  If I had any balls at all I’d go for a drive later.  Just had a rich dinner of cold chunky beef chili with beans straight out of the can along with a tall glass of tepid tapwater (my favorite) to wash it all down.  that’s the kind of charmed life you lead when you’re Jimmy Adjudication!  still need to buy a bag of spuds.  I’m determined to make unsalted unbuttered unsourcreamed unpeeled boiled spuds a regular part of my diet.  I have the pan, I have the tapwater but what I still lack are the spuds.  Need to reacquaint myself with the robert works.  The earliest canonical was so inspirational.  And then I see more consistency than I originally allowed.  First experienced with someone who was once a close friend but is now a stranger.  Ink again.  Always ink. A life dedicated to nothing.  Looking for coal black.  Rituals have me.  a brazil bbw facesitting. Reading comics makes me feel good.  Or does it?! the more I learn the less I want to know. I never quite matured into a worthwhile human being.  No progress on the Dark Angel today and the emptiness I am experiencing just shows how hopeless and dependent I became.  Remember that time I stood up at the bar?!  I’ve been trading off that story for years now.  bartender had a terrific cellulite ridden ass that she was damn proud of showing off!  gonna eat an avocado soon.  Just can’t take this.

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